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horrible person

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by DaisyChainThing
    Your logic is so flawed. Would you prefer that everytime someone makes a mistake and hurts someone they keep it all to themselves, because it's better to keep that person from hurting? Remind me to use that excuse when I cheat on someone.

    It's totally different from cheating. The guy was her ex. Whatever he gets up to with other poeople after that has fuck all to do with her.
    She had sex with her friend's boyfriend and she knew it would hurt her friend. Would it be better that she finds possibly out later from someone else? 'Cos I'm sure that won't hurt. Well done!

    If that happens she might be over the ex by then, if not she's going to get hurt - the same thing that'd happen if wee laura told her.

    It's been a month already, and it's a gamble that most people are probably willing to take.
    And even if she's not being dishonest, she is keeping something from her friend that she knows would change how she thinks about her.

    Yeah, keeping something from her friend that she knows would hurt her. Not wanting to hurt your friend seems like a pretty good thing to do to me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wee_laura
    I want to tell her because I don't like keeping secrets from her and because I guess it is kinda self gain because I wanna rid myself of the guilt.

    If you were any kind of friend you wouldn't feel less guilty after telling her. If it hurts her then you're gonna be the cause of that hurt, you'll feel shitloads worse cos trust me, it ain't nice to see people you care about hurting cos of you.

    And if you tell her and don't feel guilty anymore then you really weren't a good enough friend to begin with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Keep it quiet. There's no need for her to know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think telling someone doesn't necissarily get rid of the guilt - when I told one of my best mates that I went out with the girl he fancied for about 2 weeks I felt so bad after I told him, sweating all over, etc - but he was ok with it. He was a bit upset but he forgave me. And that was a feeling of relief. You don't stop feeling guilty though.

    But at least you know you've been honest with one of your best friends; people who say they don't lie annoy me because not only will they lie to people they don't know but also to their best friends in circumstances like this.

    I think you should tell her because then you know you've been honest. A friendship is like a relationship in that one lie, or one untold truth, can undermine the whole thing - maybe not today or tomorrow but in weeks or months.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner

    I think you should tell her because then you know you've been honest. A friendship is like a relationship in that one lie, or one untold truth, can undermine the whole thing - maybe not today or tomorrow but in weeks or months.

    She's not lying though. Her friend hasn't actually asked her if they've had sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kiezo
    She's not lying though. Her friend hasn't actually asked her if they've had sex.

    If you read my post again it says "one lie, or one untold truth," - which indicates either a lie, or the present situation (untold truth) in that she's keeping something from her friend that concerns her friend.

    Maybe her friend wont care. But the fact that Laura cares that her friend doesn't know will affect their friendship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you think that your friend would actually *gain* anything from knowing what you did?

    xxx soph xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kiezo
    It's totally different from cheating. The guy was her ex. Whatever he gets up to with other poeople after that has fuck all to do with her.

    Sorry, I disagree. In my eyes you don't go anywhere near any guy that's had a relationship with a friend. It's just a rule for me; friends' exes and nearly-boyfriends are off-limits. I mean, mistakes happen, and this girl obviously feels bad, but I wouldn't say it's ok because he's her ex.

    I'd tell your friend. REALLY difficult thing to do, and if that's what you choose then good luck, but you'll feel better for it in the end and like someone said, better she hears it from you than on the grapevine. Because she WIL find out somehow. It's sod's law - it WILL come out!

    Good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kiezo
    She's not lying though. Her friend hasn't actually asked her if they've had sex.

    But that so doesn't work. So if a girl has a boyfriend and goes off and has sex with another guy, but her boyfriend doesn't ask her if she's had sex with another guy, that means she's not lying to her boyfriend?
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