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No boys in bedrooms
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,722 Bot
My parents have always had this stupid rule.....and i guess it was ok when i was younger as i had older mates who could have taken advantage..but im 17 now and when i get paid next month im going to have to start payng rent, yet they still want to keep this damn rule!
I mean im not even aloud male mates in my room let alone b/fs!!
About 90% of my mates are male so it means i cant have them round at all cos i cant be downstairs if my sisters at home....which is all the time.
How do i go about telling them that it cant carry on? I mean im paying them to live in a crappy room with messed up heating and the bath room next to my room the taps dnt work unless you go all the way downstairs turn on the taps, come back up turn on the shower and the taps hit the tap lots of time to ge the water on then go all the way back down just to find when you come back up that its turned off again. grrr!
Im not saying that i want them to stay over in my bed although that would be nice....i just want to be able to have my mates round, in my room with out them thinking im going to shag them.
Lil help here people!
I mean im not even aloud male mates in my room let alone b/fs!!
About 90% of my mates are male so it means i cant have them round at all cos i cant be downstairs if my sisters at home....which is all the time.
How do i go about telling them that it cant carry on? I mean im paying them to live in a crappy room with messed up heating and the bath room next to my room the taps dnt work unless you go all the way downstairs turn on the taps, come back up turn on the shower and the taps hit the tap lots of time to ge the water on then go all the way back down just to find when you come back up that its turned off again. grrr!
Im not saying that i want them to stay over in my bed although that would be nice....i just want to be able to have my mates round, in my room with out them thinking im going to shag them.
Lil help here people!
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments
Well I suggest you get them taps sorted out
Seriously tho, I can understand your parents point of view and also your own. You are still young in their eyes and although you are paying for the 'privillege' of living at home as my mum used to say:
"If you're living under my roof you're gonna live by my rules"
By all means speak to them about it and good luck.
Bopz
But, now since you are paying rent, I think the best soultion is that you should suggest you are given a bit more freedom. Best way to go about is an open door policy. Ask them to allow you having boys in your rooom but in return agree to keep your bedroom door open, all the way so they can know nothing is going on under their roof.. Obviously, say it in a very mature way or it will just re-confirm their idea that you are too young. Its more than fair and i doubt theyre too happy about having their downstairs filled with teenage boys when all they want to do is relax anyway!
Invite them to insert their stupid rules rectally.
you can have as many boys as you can fit in there, you can also use my shower.
sorted.
And to everyone else thanks for your inputs i hope it works!
Keep'um coming tho. i could use all the help i can get.
No its not the same.
Just supposing you had a house and you rented a room to me and I decided to bring anyone into your house that would be ok ? what hapens if you dont like the kind of person I brought back.....its YOUR house so at the end of the day whoever rents the room has to appreciate that.
Zella try talking to them, show them you can be mature about it. Dont rant and rave because then you might as well forget about talking them round.
What would be a good idea is get a mate who you know is ok, not too loud and stuff like that and ask if that one is allowed to come round and help you with your studies or sommat like that. Get the same person to do that a couple of times and when they see its no hassle having mates round they might be a bit more happier letting people in your room.
Zella can you honestly tell me it wouldn't happen sometime if they allowed boys up into your room/house?
How's this for a good one: I'm the oldest of three boys and I wasn't allowed to have any girlfriends stay over - even when my younger brothers did!!!!! The reason was "I had to set an example" even though my brother's girlies were already staying over... Nice...
Still, back to the point in hand - yeah, I would be having certain rules in place which I would expect to be abided by.
Put simply - if you want your own true space, rent a room in a shared house and see how you cope!
Well its happened already just when theyve been away. I would never have sex in my house if they were in cos it would just feel wrong!
My lodger is moving out soon, so i'll have the whole attic to myself and i'll be useing her old room as my bed room and have what is now my room as a living room type thing, and ive told them that when this happens they have to let me have my male mates round and upstairs cos they wont be in my bedroom.
Haha i win without breaking the no boys in bedrooms rule!
But untill then i guess i'll just have to put up with it.
I still want to talk to them about the whole trust issue tho and why they dnt want me to have boys in my room. I think they think im a slut or something. My mum knows ive had sex cos i had to tell her why i wanted to know if the drugs the doc gave me were going to affect my pill. She had a small go saying i shouldnt have slept wiht danny in the first place (not that its ANYTHING to do with her) but she'll have to get over that. But im not a slut and she needs to accept that im not going to sleep with every guy i let in my room just cos they are male.
sorry I totally disagree with that. Its THEIR house, not Zellas. When she gets her own house thats when things change. Just because Zella thinks her mates are canny and they are ok it doesnt mean her parents will.
Also if she went to them with the attitude of "I pay rent i do what the fuck i want" then im sorry it just wont work.
thing is...im just a likely to do 'stuff' with my female friend as i am with my male ones!
im 17 as well....and it proper pisses me off!
Exactly...
my mums most used phrase is 'this house is not a democracy' i can give my input, i can ask for things (im 19 so life is fairly easy i do admit) but if she doesnt like it, her way goes.
Which is fair enough!!! If you pay rent then that is because they think that youre old enough to contribute, you could ask for extra privaledges in return, they may think that now you may be old enough to be trusted, but at the end of the day its their house.
I really think that the best way to go is the open door policy i suggested before. Its meeting half way. Cant get much fairer than that.
But you are 15. And while it none of my business whatsoever you have had problems in the past.
I would do what Zella's parents are doing, but I think I would agree if my parents were the same. I have never had just me and a girl in my room, I don't think. Six girls and me a few times though.
yeh, maybe it'll be a bit better when you turn 16
Some of my friends' parents have the same rules- no boys in bedrooms. But surely that just make their kid rebel more?? Its human nature, we do stuff that we're not allowed to, cos it makes it more fun in a way I guess, we wanna do what we want.
So maybe you cud try n explain that to them, and let them kno ur old and mature enough to make ur own decisions.
i'm with your folks on this one
i think i might agree with you somewhat.
Ive always been allowed boys in my room, had my boyfriend sleep over since 15.. my fella and i have spent every weekend night together for years and years. It is possible to have blokes stay over and not sleep with them!
I know a group of turkish girls, parents are very strict, cant have boy mates, boy friends etc. All of them have rebelled sooo much and sleep with every good looking guy they have met since the age of 14! Theyre constantly surrounded by blokes and i cant help thinking, if their parents had let them have boy mates, they wouldnt be like this now.
Im not i kid, I've finished school and college and am working every hour i can get. How does it make me immature that i want to have sex with my b/f? I said already that i wouldnt do it if they were in the house because that would just be wrong. And its not my only thought ya plonker lol i want to be able to have my MATES round and its kinda hard to do that if pratically all my mates are male.
I'm 24 and barely consider myself a "man", even though I have been self employed for 4 years in fooookin' good jobs, lived away from home for several years yadda yadda yadda...
17 = Basically a kid. You can jusy buy cigs, lottery tickets and are legally old enough to get yer rocks off!
My guy mates are allowed in whenever they want, and I go round there's... They often sleep over too.
Your parents seem quite irrational, to think that it's okay to make you PAY for living in your HOME, and not allowing your mates round... So strange!
Ilora x
i totally agree with what you said, my parents have never had any problem with having guy friends in my room and they only have one rule about boyfriends staying over - that they're not just any old guy and that they know them a bit too, they have spoken to them and approve etc :rolleyes:
me and my boyfriend have been living between each others houses for over a year and rarely spend a night apart!
i always introduce them to anyone coming into the house and my parents appreciate that.
i think you should talk to them and show them that you can be trusted and that you are nearly an adult but at the end of the day it is their decision and every parent is different
Ive always been fine with having my boyfriend sleep over.
1. It is not your house, it's your parents. When you talk about "rent" I'll bet your contribution is (in most peoples cases) nowhere near what real rent would cost you if you were to get your own flat. If it were about the same, then you would most likely move out. So you are not paying rent.
2. Parents just don't like the thought of their daughters having sex. Most aren't bothered about their sons, but people are funny about daughters - especially Dads.
Mr_Wobble