Guy repeating himself

Redemption

I’ve been feeling quite frustrated lately because someone I met back in college in 2018 keeps messaging me and repeating the same things, especially about cars. He constantly brings up the same models, like the Audi A3, and it feels like we’re having the same conversation over and over. I’ve tried to politely ask him not to repeat himself, and although he apologised, he’s continued doing it. I understand being into cars since I like them too, and to be fair, he does mention some interesting ones. But when it becomes constant and repetitive, it starts to feel more exhausting than enjoyable. I really hope I don’t come across that way myself when I talk about things I enjoy.

What makes it difficult is that I don’t want to be harsh or upset him. I’ve been blocked before by people I was close with and it really hurt, so I understand how that feels. We haven’t seen each other in person since before the first lockdown and, unlike with some of my other friends, we’ve never actually met up again. I’ve blocked him in the past for similar reasons and unblocked him thinking he might have changed. Maybe he has a little, but the repetitive behaviour is still there. I’m now considering blocking him again just to take a break and reduce some stress, and maybe later I can unblock him to see if anything has improved. I just feel stuck because I overthink situations like this and don’t want to hurt anyone, but it’s starting to add pressure on top of everything else I’m already dealing with. I hope I don't come across this fustrating here with my threads. I am feeling lonely myself at times and could do with people to talk to but I need to right people and I hope I don't sound harsh by saying that. This person isn't saying anything bad or anything but its just quite fustrating. I hope you here understand.

I have some screenshot here of the messages

Any advice will be appreciated

Azziman

Hi @Redemption, I can hear that you have mixed feelings on what to do here. On the one hand, this is a person that you have a shared interest in cars with, and you don't want to upset them or be harsh; on the other hand, you find the conversation exhausting and repetitive, and it's placing more and more pressure on you.

You've mentioned that you've asked them before not to do keep doing this, and even blocked them for similar reasons, but that the behaviour hasn't really changed. These are reasonable and sensible steps to take in this situation. It sounds like this is an emotionally exhausting friendship to keep, and despite your efforts to set boundaries and let them know, they aren't changing how they communicate with you. I can understand how feelings of loneliness are difficult, but also that you'd like to have conversations and relationships that aren't so draining as this - this seems completely fair.

You've mentioned that you're considering blocking them again to take a break, and that seems reasonable - you've tried to navigate the situation but the other person isn't changing, so it's fair enough that you're taking action to support your own wellbeing. It's been a couple of days since you mentioned this - how do you feel about this approach? Are you considering letting them know that you're doing this? We're here to listen to you and support you through this.

Redemption

Azziman wrote: »

Hi @Redemption, I can hear that you have mixed feelings on what to do here. On the one hand, this is a person that you have a shared interest in cars with, and you don't want to upset them or be harsh; on the other hand, you find the conversation exhausting and repetitive, and it's placing more and more pressure on you.

You've mentioned that you've asked them before not to do keep doing this, and even blocked them for similar reasons, but that the behaviour hasn't really changed. These are reasonable and sensible steps to take in this situation. It sounds like this is an emotionally exhausting friendship to keep, and despite your efforts to set boundaries and let them know, they aren't changing how they communicate with you. I can understand how feelings of loneliness are difficult, but also that you'd like to have conversations and relationships that aren't so draining as this - this seems completely fair.

You've mentioned that you're considering blocking them again to take a break, and that seems reasonable - you've tried to navigate the situation but the other person isn't changing, so it's fair enough that you're taking action to support your own wellbeing. It's been a couple of days since you mentioned this - how do you feel about this approach? Are you considering letting them know that you're doing this? We're here to listen to you and support you through this.

@Azziman Yeah I get what you mean, it has been really exhausting and I do feel like I’ve tried to be patient and give them chances, but it just goes back to the same repetitive stuff about cars over and over. I’ve already told them before and even blocked them in the past, so it’s frustrating that nothing changes. I don’t want to be harsh, but I also can’t keep having conversations that leave me drained. I think blocking them again might be best, at least for now, because I need a break and to focus on talking to people where it doesn’t feel like such an effort. I’m not sure yet if I’ll tell them or just do it, but I’m leaning towards just taking the break without a big explanation because I’ve already tried explaining before. Thanks for replying to me