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Direct Messaging (DMs)
TheMix
Posts: 3,209 Boards Guru
We wanted to let you know that we’ve made the decision to turn off Direct Messages (DMs) on the Mix community.
This change is part of our commitment to prioritising the safety and wellbeing of all of our members as we are a service for young people. We regularly review our features to ensure they align with best practices and legal requirements.
With the introduction of the Online Safety Act (2023), online services are now regulated to ensure children are protected from online harm. This includes requirements such as age-limited content and the moderation of peer-to-peer communication, especially for children. The use of DMs has been removed to help ensure we meet these standards.
Importantly, recent changes to the Act in April 2025 mean that compliance with this guidance is no longer just best practice, but a legal requirement. As we understand it, enforcement processes could follow if we fail to comply.
We know how important it is to connect with others, and we want to reassure you that our core services including the discussion boards, group chats, and expert support remain available. These spaces are moderated and designed to give you the chance to talk, share, and support each other safely.
We always encourage everyone to stay safe online and you can check out our advice on online safety and our guidance on reporting and blocking on social media. If you're ever unsure about something or need help, you can also reach out to our community team by emailing community@themix.org.uk
Thank you for being part of this community and helping us keep it a safe, supportive space for all.
Edit/update:
Thank you for all your feedback, we have listened and discussed them in detail across the Community and wider organisation team. We thought it would be helpful to provide answers to your questions with FAQs:
The Mix Discussion Boards: Direct Message Closures
Frequently Asked Questions
Why are direct messages being turned off, especially when most people use them respectfully?
We know that the vast majority of direct messages will be 100% safe and within Guidelines. However, even with positive use, there’s still a level of risk that comes with any space we do not routinely moderate unless an issue is brought to our attention. This means there is potential of it then becoming a space where personal boundaries are unclear or safeguarding risks could go unnoticed by our staff team.
Disabling DMs is also part of a wider safeguarding approach and is in line with guidance from organisations such as The Online Safety Act (2023) and the UK Council for Internet Safety (UKCIS), which recommends limiting private messaging in open online communities to reduce risk for children and young people.
Why didn’t you give us any warning before switching off DMs?
This was an extremely difficult decision, and we want to acknowledge how challenging it may feel. At the same time, we are following the important guidance of our IT and security team and implementing this change due to safety concerns.
We understand that more notice would have been helpful. However, we were concerned that doing so might lead to a surge in direct messages, including the sharing of personal contact details—something we strongly advise against, as it can move conversations outside of our moderated and safe spaces.
For more context, you can find additional information in our previous thread here: https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3601938/talking-to-other-members-outside-the-mix-and-why-we-encourage-you-not-to#latest.
While we can’t control everything, our priority is keeping this space safe, which sometimes means acting quickly when risks arise. This decision follows safeguarding best practices and UKCIS guidance, which advises against private messaging in open online communities.
We know this change may have felt sudden, and we truly hear the hurt, shock, and confusion it’s caused.
Are my old direct messages gone forever? Can I access them again?
Yes, unfortunately, previous private messages are no longer accessible (except for DMs with the Staff Team).
We know this may feel like a significant and deeply upsetting loss. Those conversations often carried real meaning, friendship, comfort, and support — and we don’t take that lightly. We’re truly sorry for the sadness or frustration this has caused, and we fully acknowledge how important those connections were to many of you.
We’d gently encourage you to continue nurturing supportive relationships through our public spaces — like the Discussion Boards and Group Chats — where valuable connections are still very much possible. We remain committed to helping you find friendship, shared understanding, and community in these safe, moderated spaces.
Why have The Mix removed DMs, while social media platforms like Instagram or TikTok still allow them?
We know some of you are wondering why we’ve disabled direct messages (DMs) here, while larger platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and others still allow private messaging — even for under-16s or under-18s. The key difference comes down to technology, resources, and legal obligations.
Big social media platforms have access to advanced AI moderation tools that allow them to automatically scan private messages for harmful or risky content (like grooming, bullying, or abuse) and are able to efficiently flag concerning conversations for human review.
Under the UK’s Online Safety Act (2023) all social media-type platforms which allow DMs for young users, must show they have robust, tech-backed safeguarding systems in place.
In addition, those platforms can implement special safety features and parental controls for under-18s, backed by age-verification and age-estimation technologies - tools we currently do not have.
As a relatively small, dedicated community platform our current platform also doesn’t allow us to apply different settings to different users, meaning any change we make (like disabling DMs) has to apply platform-wide.
Our team works hard to keep public spaces like the Discussion Boards and Group Chats safe through active moderation, but we cannot routinely monitor or moderate private messages unless someone reports a concern.
Because of this, and following the expert advice of our IT, Security, and Safeguarding teams, as well as guidance from the UK Council for Internet Safety (UKCIS), we’ve made the tough decision to turn off DMs entirely to minimise risks and protect everyone in our community.
We know this feels like a big loss, especially for those of you who used DMs kindly and respectfully. Please know this change isn’t about limiting connection - it’s about making sure that connection happens in spaces where we can help keep everyone safe.
Can I still message the staff or moderators privately?
Yes, you can still reach out to us directly. Nothing has changed when it comes to messaging the staff team.
Our staff team and volunteer moderators are still available for 1:1 conversations via DM, whether you need to raise a concern, ask a question about the platform, or share something that’s made you feel uncomfortable. We’re here, and we want to support you.
Please note that you can only DM @The Mix (our main account), not individual staff members or moderators. This ensures that all conversations remain transparent and safe, allowing the team to respond collectively and appropriately.
We understand how important it is for you to have a private and convenient way to raise concerns. While we’ve disabled DMs between members for safety reasons, we’ve intentionally kept the option to message The Mix so you always have a moderated, safeguarded space to reach out.
If you ever experience any difficulty with DMs or are unable to get through, please email us at community@themix.org.uk, and we’ll be happy to help.
How are we supposed to make friends now and support each other?
We hear your worries, and it is valid for this change to bring about some really difficult feelings. Connection is the heart of Community - it’s what makes this space so special. While direct messages between members is no longer available, the opportunities to still support and uplift each other very much remains. We’re committed to providing regular social spaces too, such as our quizzes, Watch Parties, and of course our weekly threads.
We really encourage you to keep chatting on the Discussion Boards and joining our Group Chats in the evenings. These spaces are still very much alive and active, and they’ve always been where so many kind and supportive conversations happen. We believe you’ll continue to find friendship, shared understanding, and warmth there.
This change makes the community feel more divided. Why are you trying to stop us from talking to each other?
We totally understand how this might feel like a harsh and sudden disconnection. It’s absolutely not our intention to pull people apart—we see just how much friendships and peer support matter here.
This decision is about ensuring that all conversations happen in spaces where we can help keep everyone safe. It’s never about limiting connection—it’s about nurturing it in ways that are safe, respectful, and inclusive for all.
As advised by our IT and security team, this change also aligns with broader safety guidance from organisations like UKCIS, which recommend limiting private messaging in open online spaces to reduce potential risks.
Can we still talk to each other on other platforms, outside of The Mix?
We know it might feel tempting to continue conversations elsewhere, but we strongly discourage connecting 1:1 outside of The Mix. When conversations move to other platforms, we’re no longer able to help if something goes wrong.
That means we can’t offer safeguarding support, step in around risks, or help mediate if someone’s boundaries are crossed. And we want to be there for you if you ever need us—which is why we ask that you keep your conversations within our moderated spaces.
You can find more information on this on our previous thread here: https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3601938/talking-to-other-members-outside-the-mix-and-why-we-encourage-you-not-to#latest
Why couldn’t you have just switched off DMs for members under 18 and kept them available for everyone else?
Unfortunately, our developers do not have the technology to disable DMs for some members based on age as it’s a platform-wide feature that applies to everyone across the Discussion Boards. This is because switching off DMs requires a global feature across the full Discussion Boards platform.
As previously mentioned we’ve been instructed by our IT and security team, turning off DMs is also part of a wider safeguarding approach and is in line with guidance from organisations like the UK Council for Internet Safety (UKCIS), which recommends limiting private messaging in open online communities to reduce risk.
We do recognise, however, just how much of a loss this is for some, and hear how disheartening and frustrating it feels.
This change is part of our commitment to prioritising the safety and wellbeing of all of our members as we are a service for young people. We regularly review our features to ensure they align with best practices and legal requirements.
With the introduction of the Online Safety Act (2023), online services are now regulated to ensure children are protected from online harm. This includes requirements such as age-limited content and the moderation of peer-to-peer communication, especially for children. The use of DMs has been removed to help ensure we meet these standards.
Importantly, recent changes to the Act in April 2025 mean that compliance with this guidance is no longer just best practice, but a legal requirement. As we understand it, enforcement processes could follow if we fail to comply.
We know how important it is to connect with others, and we want to reassure you that our core services including the discussion boards, group chats, and expert support remain available. These spaces are moderated and designed to give you the chance to talk, share, and support each other safely.
We always encourage everyone to stay safe online and you can check out our advice on online safety and our guidance on reporting and blocking on social media. If you're ever unsure about something or need help, you can also reach out to our community team by emailing community@themix.org.uk
Thank you for being part of this community and helping us keep it a safe, supportive space for all.
Edit/update:
Thank you for all your feedback, we have listened and discussed them in detail across the Community and wider organisation team. We thought it would be helpful to provide answers to your questions with FAQs:
The Mix Discussion Boards: Direct Message Closures
Frequently Asked Questions
Why are direct messages being turned off, especially when most people use them respectfully?
We know that the vast majority of direct messages will be 100% safe and within Guidelines. However, even with positive use, there’s still a level of risk that comes with any space we do not routinely moderate unless an issue is brought to our attention. This means there is potential of it then becoming a space where personal boundaries are unclear or safeguarding risks could go unnoticed by our staff team.
Disabling DMs is also part of a wider safeguarding approach and is in line with guidance from organisations such as The Online Safety Act (2023) and the UK Council for Internet Safety (UKCIS), which recommends limiting private messaging in open online communities to reduce risk for children and young people.
Why didn’t you give us any warning before switching off DMs?
This was an extremely difficult decision, and we want to acknowledge how challenging it may feel. At the same time, we are following the important guidance of our IT and security team and implementing this change due to safety concerns.
We understand that more notice would have been helpful. However, we were concerned that doing so might lead to a surge in direct messages, including the sharing of personal contact details—something we strongly advise against, as it can move conversations outside of our moderated and safe spaces.
For more context, you can find additional information in our previous thread here: https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3601938/talking-to-other-members-outside-the-mix-and-why-we-encourage-you-not-to#latest.
While we can’t control everything, our priority is keeping this space safe, which sometimes means acting quickly when risks arise. This decision follows safeguarding best practices and UKCIS guidance, which advises against private messaging in open online communities.
We know this change may have felt sudden, and we truly hear the hurt, shock, and confusion it’s caused.
Are my old direct messages gone forever? Can I access them again?
Yes, unfortunately, previous private messages are no longer accessible (except for DMs with the Staff Team).
We know this may feel like a significant and deeply upsetting loss. Those conversations often carried real meaning, friendship, comfort, and support — and we don’t take that lightly. We’re truly sorry for the sadness or frustration this has caused, and we fully acknowledge how important those connections were to many of you.
We’d gently encourage you to continue nurturing supportive relationships through our public spaces — like the Discussion Boards and Group Chats — where valuable connections are still very much possible. We remain committed to helping you find friendship, shared understanding, and community in these safe, moderated spaces.
Why have The Mix removed DMs, while social media platforms like Instagram or TikTok still allow them?
We know some of you are wondering why we’ve disabled direct messages (DMs) here, while larger platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and others still allow private messaging — even for under-16s or under-18s. The key difference comes down to technology, resources, and legal obligations.
Big social media platforms have access to advanced AI moderation tools that allow them to automatically scan private messages for harmful or risky content (like grooming, bullying, or abuse) and are able to efficiently flag concerning conversations for human review.
Under the UK’s Online Safety Act (2023) all social media-type platforms which allow DMs for young users, must show they have robust, tech-backed safeguarding systems in place.
In addition, those platforms can implement special safety features and parental controls for under-18s, backed by age-verification and age-estimation technologies - tools we currently do not have.
As a relatively small, dedicated community platform our current platform also doesn’t allow us to apply different settings to different users, meaning any change we make (like disabling DMs) has to apply platform-wide.
Our team works hard to keep public spaces like the Discussion Boards and Group Chats safe through active moderation, but we cannot routinely monitor or moderate private messages unless someone reports a concern.
Because of this, and following the expert advice of our IT, Security, and Safeguarding teams, as well as guidance from the UK Council for Internet Safety (UKCIS), we’ve made the tough decision to turn off DMs entirely to minimise risks and protect everyone in our community.
We know this feels like a big loss, especially for those of you who used DMs kindly and respectfully. Please know this change isn’t about limiting connection - it’s about making sure that connection happens in spaces where we can help keep everyone safe.
Can I still message the staff or moderators privately?
Yes, you can still reach out to us directly. Nothing has changed when it comes to messaging the staff team.
Our staff team and volunteer moderators are still available for 1:1 conversations via DM, whether you need to raise a concern, ask a question about the platform, or share something that’s made you feel uncomfortable. We’re here, and we want to support you.
Please note that you can only DM @The Mix (our main account), not individual staff members or moderators. This ensures that all conversations remain transparent and safe, allowing the team to respond collectively and appropriately.
We understand how important it is for you to have a private and convenient way to raise concerns. While we’ve disabled DMs between members for safety reasons, we’ve intentionally kept the option to message The Mix so you always have a moderated, safeguarded space to reach out.
If you ever experience any difficulty with DMs or are unable to get through, please email us at community@themix.org.uk, and we’ll be happy to help.
How are we supposed to make friends now and support each other?
We hear your worries, and it is valid for this change to bring about some really difficult feelings. Connection is the heart of Community - it’s what makes this space so special. While direct messages between members is no longer available, the opportunities to still support and uplift each other very much remains. We’re committed to providing regular social spaces too, such as our quizzes, Watch Parties, and of course our weekly threads.
We really encourage you to keep chatting on the Discussion Boards and joining our Group Chats in the evenings. These spaces are still very much alive and active, and they’ve always been where so many kind and supportive conversations happen. We believe you’ll continue to find friendship, shared understanding, and warmth there.
This change makes the community feel more divided. Why are you trying to stop us from talking to each other?
We totally understand how this might feel like a harsh and sudden disconnection. It’s absolutely not our intention to pull people apart—we see just how much friendships and peer support matter here.
This decision is about ensuring that all conversations happen in spaces where we can help keep everyone safe. It’s never about limiting connection—it’s about nurturing it in ways that are safe, respectful, and inclusive for all.
As advised by our IT and security team, this change also aligns with broader safety guidance from organisations like UKCIS, which recommend limiting private messaging in open online spaces to reduce potential risks.
Can we still talk to each other on other platforms, outside of The Mix?
We know it might feel tempting to continue conversations elsewhere, but we strongly discourage connecting 1:1 outside of The Mix. When conversations move to other platforms, we’re no longer able to help if something goes wrong.
That means we can’t offer safeguarding support, step in around risks, or help mediate if someone’s boundaries are crossed. And we want to be there for you if you ever need us—which is why we ask that you keep your conversations within our moderated spaces.
You can find more information on this on our previous thread here: https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3601938/talking-to-other-members-outside-the-mix-and-why-we-encourage-you-not-to#latest
Why couldn’t you have just switched off DMs for members under 18 and kept them available for everyone else?
Unfortunately, our developers do not have the technology to disable DMs for some members based on age as it’s a platform-wide feature that applies to everyone across the Discussion Boards. This is because switching off DMs requires a global feature across the full Discussion Boards platform.
As previously mentioned we’ve been instructed by our IT and security team, turning off DMs is also part of a wider safeguarding approach and is in line with guidance from organisations like the UK Council for Internet Safety (UKCIS), which recommends limiting private messaging in open online communities to reduce risk.
We do recognise, however, just how much of a loss this is for some, and hear how disheartening and frustrating it feels.
Post edited by Owen on
2
Comments
Please quote the exact part of this law that means you have to knock the DMs off when I can still DM on facebook, reddit and discord?
Exactly. Is it because that function to limit who can DM who is unavailable? And it’s easier to turn them off for all rather than allow it for adults? It feels like an attack on our decision making skills tbh
It’s all very well saying it’s to protect children, which is absolutely fair enough, but young people aren’t all children. I could go and be an MP if I wanted but I can’t send a DM?
Idk where all these new legislations have come from but I definitely would like to see evidence of it stopping adults from messaging eachother
Yh literally turn it off job sorted, it's not about safeguarding and that's obvious.
Seconded. I remember all those years ago when you first joined, and even back to when I first joined. It was like a family. Now it feels like i’m constantly on a 1-1 support platform with no way of contacting people or making friends. People will migrate over to places with far less protection because of this.
This. It was like a family that's what kept me here and as someone who's been here for 5ish years now I hate how restricted it's become. And as you said earlier people will start sharing their details in less safe ways.
It doesn't feel welcoming at all anymore
@toffuna101 it 100% is not what it was, even 6 months ago. The turning point was the closure of the hug thread. That was the start of all this. It makes me sad too, because like @Loz I’ve been here for a long time (9.5 years) and have never seen so much change, so many people leaving, and so much bad feeling in the entire time I have been here. I mean that.
So I’m pretty confused from what’s been said in your announcement, and why the mix DM’s have been shut off between service users as well and saying it’s a legal requirement??
No, they’ve closed it sadly
nope theyve shut it off for everyone!
Doesn't look like it, no. You now have to email them.
@independent_ they dont even respond to my emails for some reason so im screwed.