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Today
TheNightmare
Posts: 3,361 Boards Guru
I spoke about this on the support sessions today and you have been amazing supporting me as always. Its just still on my mind and I wanted to talk about it a bit more. Today, I gave a guy a lift to football, and during warm-up, he had an epileptic fit. At first, I thought he had slipped, but it quickly became clear it was serious. Others helped him, and after he regained consciousness, we took him to reception, and I gave him a lift home. I couldn’t play the match, but helping him felt more important. The incident made me drop negative andon my own struggles. It's made me question if I’m being ungrateful or if I even have the right to complain when there are people going through much worse losing loved ones, dealing with serious health problems, and facing real hardships. I feel a bit guilty, like I should be more grateful, but at the same time, I know I’ve found things tough myself. It just felt like my struggles were a bit invalidated by today, and I feel thrown off by it all. It wasn’t good to witness, and it must have been physically terrifying for him.
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Comments
I can hear how this experience made you question your own struggles. It is true, there are people who are going through situations far worse than us, and when we compare ourselves, it's natural to feel like things aren't as bad for us. That being said, your feelings are still entirely valid, and you deserve to be heard too!
There is enough support to go around for everyone! Just because someone else is struggling more than us, that doesn't mean that we're not allowed to feel like we're struggling. Both of you deserve to be supported in this situation. Just as you were there to help that person today, I hope that someone will help you in the same way too.
Hey @Azziman Thanks a lot for your kind words. It really means a lot. You are right, everyone deserves support no matter what they are going through. I am glad I could help and I appreciate the reminder that my feelings matter too. Great to see you round again Azziman.
I completely understand why seeing something like that could make you evaluate your own situation and wonder why you feel so bad when you aren't physically going through things like him, and it's great self-awareness to be aware of other people and how they are suffering. But there are also situations that other people are in who would say that maybe your friend doesn't have the 'right' to feel upset because at least he can play football and has a house to go to etc. The cycle is endless, and people often say there is always someone worse off than you, but that doesn't mean that we aren't all the main characters of our own stories and that our own feelings aren't equally important.
As said by Azziman, there is more than enough support to go around here! And just as you supported him to take some of his burden away, we're here to try to help take some of your burden away from you
How are you feeling after having a couple of days to reflect on what happened? Seeing things like that can bring up lots of different emotions at different times, so we're more than happy to go through any of them you have here if you want to!!
Hey @leyla26 !!!!!!!! Great to see your amazing self here, saw your thread and now you're here replying to me, so amazing. Congratulations again you've done so so well. Im so proud of you, I'm sure everyone here is.
What you're saying is true. I feel like not playing the football was a no brainer, missing the game was minor and would have felt selfish leaving him in the reception area when I went off to play. That's true like completely, I was thinking that myself like it could be the same said to him if he was about his situation that people have ut worse and he is not allowed to be upset and the same could be said to people worse, the cycle is endless. Like I dont think being more grateful is the cure to things at all, it's more harm than good imo, like we spoke about previously JJ and Deji who are multi millionaires but still have their struggles that might be minor to some people but their struggles are valid like mine and others. It's not a competition of who's struggling more. If being grateful and all that was the issue not many communities or helpline would be open to everyone.
Im feeling better about what happened, can be scary seeing that especially for the first time but part of life experience. I'm just trying to get my own situation sorted maybe remembering that I dont have it the worst myself but also remembering that my situation hasn't been easy and trying to improve it. I'll get there though, I know I will. Thank you so so much leyla ❤️ .
Well done as always!!
Thank you @leyla26 ❤️, amazing replies as always and more of that come. So exciting.
i completely get why you’re feeling this way. that must have been such a heavy and intense experience, and it makes sense that it’s stuck with you. first of all, you did something really kind, stepping up to help when someone needed it, making sure they got home safely - that says a lot about the kind of person you are!
i also want to say that just because you saw someone else going through something difficult, it doesn’t mean your struggles aren’t valid. pain isn’t a competition. of course, some people are dealing with really tough situations that may seem to be ‘worse’ than what we’re going through, but that doesn’t mean what you’re going through doesn’t matter - it is completely valid and matters so much! you’re allowed to find things hard. you’re allowed to struggle. comparing your pain to someone else’s doesn’t make yours disappear, it just makes it harder to give yourself the compassion you deserve.
it’s completely normal for something like this to shake you up and make you reflect. it was a tough situation to witness, and it’s okay to feel thrown off by it, but please don’t let it make you doubt the importance of your own feelings! i’ve also had to witness such situations, and even after seeing it several times, it doesn’t seem to feel less scary? but the first time witnessing it is definitely scary!
really proud of you
@shannon_164 Woah you’ve sent me multiple replies what did I do to deserve people as kind as you? Honestly I can’t thank you enough for this it really means the world to me. Your words are so comforting and supportive and I truly appreciate you taking the time to say all this. You’re completely right pain isn’t a competition and I need to remind myself that my struggles are still valid. It has just been a lot to process but having someone like you show this kind of kindness makes a huge difference. I feel really lucky to have this support thanks so much. Always appreciate it, I hope you're feeling better too ❤️.