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Sibling I’ve always wanted
Mistyinthesky
Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
Hello, apologies for the amount of posts, I felt that the two things belonged in separate board categories.
As someone who is now an adult, but has never grown up with siblings, I have a lot to say about it. When I was young I never wanted a sibling at all, but as I have grown up, it’s the worst thing ever to not have a sibling in my opinion. I saw everyone else having these lovely relationships with their siblings, someone they could confide in, someone who experienced the same things as them, in a lot of cases I think people who have siblings can feel less alone. When my parents go away, I hate it because I am the only child- I don’t have anyone to talk to, and have to rely on other people to take me places as I don’t drive.
One big thing I have had a history of mental health issues and I’ve never had anyone to back me up, support me if it was hard with my parents. My parents are so loving and kind, but at times, they’ve also not been helpful in the way they’ve dealt with things at times. At that point it would have been great to have someone there my age to support me, to confide in, talk to that I could totally trust. I have my grandparents who are equally lovely, but they often just agree with my parents, not attempting to fully understand the issue and just thought I was causing trouble.
I have never had that until the last few years. Through my mum’s tennis team, I met a lady (I’ll call her Jess) who is around ten years older than me who is mum’s friend on her team. She knows my family, it was nice to get to know her more. I went to watch her team every week when I left college as I was finding the change of routine hard, was about three years ago now. Her tennis team really love me, and I love them. They even go on little holidays and day trips as a tennis team, and I am always invited which is super sweet.
Jess and the team in general have definitely become a big support system, even though they are all my mums age, apart from Jess who’s younger. Something very bad happened in my family and I didn’t feel comfortable staying at home, so I asked to stay with Jess because I always have fun with her. She made her bed up for me to sleep in as her house only has one bedroom, her on the sofa, let me stay up chatting to her all night. I recently stayed at hers again, I always do things for her, paint pictures, make things because I love her so much. She is the sister I have never had and I feel like I’m doing all the things I’ve missed out on with a sibling with her now. She always has the time to support me, gives me hugs if I need them and always says she always here for me. We’ve only had a little falling out which was just a bit of confusion but even then, she accepted that what I did was how I dealt with things. She said I remind her of her younger sibling who is away a lot so I think that’s why she’s taken to me. She picks me up, takes me places sometimes, she’s just the best and I finally have the thing I was missing. When we all went on holiday, she was having a really hard time and I just hugged her and looked after her with my mums team and it was not good that she was so unhappy, but I loved looking after her like a sister would as it’s something that is a bit unfulfilled inside of me I think. She’s fine now which is good and I am happy about that.
I remember when I went to her house last as my mum and I had organised it with her as mum couldn’t drive me, Jess was taking me somewhere in the morning and she was doing her makeup while I was watching her do it sat on her sofa half asleep as it was so early. This in particular stands out to me because this is something I missed out on when I was younger with a sibling. I see her as family now rather than a friend even. If mum ever even hints that I could be sad, Jess wants to be there to help me, she’s always by my side and I would hate for that to ever disappear. She knows how much I love her and she promised that I am stuck with her now which again is so kind. Jess is the sweetest and most loyal friend, come big sister in the world.
I think we have such a lovely wholesome bond and I don’t know why, we just do. I’m so lucky to have Jess. I think I wanted to write this to maybe find others who don’t have siblings and see your opinions and share that it can be very difficult, but I guess it’s okay as you can choose your family.
As someone who is now an adult, but has never grown up with siblings, I have a lot to say about it. When I was young I never wanted a sibling at all, but as I have grown up, it’s the worst thing ever to not have a sibling in my opinion. I saw everyone else having these lovely relationships with their siblings, someone they could confide in, someone who experienced the same things as them, in a lot of cases I think people who have siblings can feel less alone. When my parents go away, I hate it because I am the only child- I don’t have anyone to talk to, and have to rely on other people to take me places as I don’t drive.
One big thing I have had a history of mental health issues and I’ve never had anyone to back me up, support me if it was hard with my parents. My parents are so loving and kind, but at times, they’ve also not been helpful in the way they’ve dealt with things at times. At that point it would have been great to have someone there my age to support me, to confide in, talk to that I could totally trust. I have my grandparents who are equally lovely, but they often just agree with my parents, not attempting to fully understand the issue and just thought I was causing trouble.
I have never had that until the last few years. Through my mum’s tennis team, I met a lady (I’ll call her Jess) who is around ten years older than me who is mum’s friend on her team. She knows my family, it was nice to get to know her more. I went to watch her team every week when I left college as I was finding the change of routine hard, was about three years ago now. Her tennis team really love me, and I love them. They even go on little holidays and day trips as a tennis team, and I am always invited which is super sweet.
Jess and the team in general have definitely become a big support system, even though they are all my mums age, apart from Jess who’s younger. Something very bad happened in my family and I didn’t feel comfortable staying at home, so I asked to stay with Jess because I always have fun with her. She made her bed up for me to sleep in as her house only has one bedroom, her on the sofa, let me stay up chatting to her all night. I recently stayed at hers again, I always do things for her, paint pictures, make things because I love her so much. She is the sister I have never had and I feel like I’m doing all the things I’ve missed out on with a sibling with her now. She always has the time to support me, gives me hugs if I need them and always says she always here for me. We’ve only had a little falling out which was just a bit of confusion but even then, she accepted that what I did was how I dealt with things. She said I remind her of her younger sibling who is away a lot so I think that’s why she’s taken to me. She picks me up, takes me places sometimes, she’s just the best and I finally have the thing I was missing. When we all went on holiday, she was having a really hard time and I just hugged her and looked after her with my mums team and it was not good that she was so unhappy, but I loved looking after her like a sister would as it’s something that is a bit unfulfilled inside of me I think. She’s fine now which is good and I am happy about that.
I remember when I went to her house last as my mum and I had organised it with her as mum couldn’t drive me, Jess was taking me somewhere in the morning and she was doing her makeup while I was watching her do it sat on her sofa half asleep as it was so early. This in particular stands out to me because this is something I missed out on when I was younger with a sibling. I see her as family now rather than a friend even. If mum ever even hints that I could be sad, Jess wants to be there to help me, she’s always by my side and I would hate for that to ever disappear. She knows how much I love her and she promised that I am stuck with her now which again is so kind. Jess is the sweetest and most loyal friend, come big sister in the world.
I think we have such a lovely wholesome bond and I don’t know why, we just do. I’m so lucky to have Jess. I think I wanted to write this to maybe find others who don’t have siblings and see your opinions and share that it can be very difficult, but I guess it’s okay as you can choose your family.
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Comments
I can understand how not having a sibling growing up can feel isolating, and I imagine that's quite a common emotion among only children. While we have parents who understand the family, and friends who understand concerns of our age, siblings are in the position of understanding and navigating between those two worlds. Not everyone gets on with their siblings, either because of personality mismatches or because of nasty characters, but many do and develop strong bonds with them.
When it comes to mental wellbeing, having someone to talk to you who is supportive is really important. Parents aren't always able to understand and appreciate how difficult a challenge poor mental health can be, and without alternative support, you feeling isolated makes sense. Having supportive friends, siblings, or other such people in our lives makes a difference in that sense. I'm glad to hear that you and Jess have found each other and care for each other so much, long may it continue!