Starting to question everything (TW self-harm)

Rose113

I’m tired, I’m exhausted, I’m hurting, I’m neglecting myself. Everyday I’m just a people pleaser, I ignore my own triggers and problems just to please people and make them happy because there all that matter in this world. Not me. Never will be me.

regression

So as many know it’s something I struggle with a lot however I am also a caregiver virtually for 2 friends who are also regressors and whilst it’s sometimes okay it’s so difficult with one person. Maybe that’s because we have history and maybe even just burnt to many bridges in the passed but whatever I still help him but the past 2 weeks they’ve been little non stop and it’s so so so hard because they stress you out but you can’t tell them the truth or you’ll upset that.

Self harm

My self harm healed as it’s always been something that heals so fast but I don’t have any objects now as I’m trying to stick to my grandmas wish but I hate seeing my arms bare. I hate seeing them looking so…clean…

I do t miss self harm for the most part but tonight I do just because it’s a shitty night and I’m just ready to delete everything and live my life in a rock 👍🏻

I’m too tired and shaky to type anymore but yeah…sorry

shannon_164

sending so much love your way @Rose113 always here for you🩷

Sian321

Hey @Rose113 thank you for this post. How are you doing this evening?

Firstly, I noticed you had mentioned SH and you also let us know you were feeling 'tired and shakey'. That sounds really hard, and I just wanted to first check to make sure you're safe and ask how you're feeling physically at the moment?

I hear that it's really conflicting too noticing how your self-harm is healing. It is valid that on the one hand this might be a relief, but it could also feel triggering too for many people. That sounds tough, @Rose113 and it makes sense that seeing your arms that way might feel unfamiliar or strange at the moment. How have you been feeling in your grief for your grandma lately? It sounds like honouring her wish is really important to you, but at the same time, difficult

If you're needing further support with SH, we would encourage you to reach out to one of the following resources:

There is a free mobile app called Calm Harm. You can get it on the App Store (Apple) or Google Play (Andorid). The app is designed to prevent people from urges to self-harm using these activities: Comfort, Distract, Express Yourself, Release, Random and Breathe. You can find out more about it on https://calmharm.co.uk/

Other options:
There are some websites you may like to look at to support you around self-harming. They are:
https://www.nshn.co.uk/
https://www.recoveryourlife.com/
https://www.selfharm.co.uk/
https://harmless.org.uk/

You can also check out our articles on our website: https://www.themix.org.uk/search/self+harm

Secondly, thank you opening up about what you're going through right now supporting your two friends with age regression. Esspecially when you have history with one of those people, I can imagine that feeling intensive, even while you of course care for them a lot. It is valid to find this stressful, and I hear what you're saying about how delicate the situation feels and how it can be very hard to assert boundaries in case they get upset.

In an ideal world, what kinds of boundaries would you like to set for yourself with these friends if you knew they would be accepting and respectful? What are you personally needing from them? E.g. more space, an acknowledgement that you cannot be responsible for their safety, etc. What do you personally need?

Sending hugs, @Rose113

Rose113

Hey @sian321

I’m okay tonight thank you 💕

I’m safe and I think I’m okay physically

I don’t think part of me has come to terms with my grandma passing, I still can’t seem to accept it which is hard but I suppose I’ll get there eventually right? I hope so anyway

Thank you for the links, Emma is helping me with my SH too

Only one of them follows boundaries but with the other image tried 5 times to set them but he breaks them

Laura_tigger82

You can accept it in your own time @Rose113. Grief is really difficult and it is okay for this to take time. Your boundaries are really important, even when you really care for your friends! Keeping taking care of yourself - what might this look like at the moment?

Rose113

@Laura_tigger82 i don’t deserve to take care of myself

Orchid059

Hi @Rose113 This is a heavy thought to bear. I would just like to remind you that you are entirely worthy of self care. Self-care isn't about being perfect—it's about recognizing your worth and taking steps to nurture your well-being. It's not selfish; it's necessary for you to be your best for yourself and others. You are worthy of love and care, and it's okay to prioritise your own needs.