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TW: Too many emotions: Crying 😢

Lottie5433Lottie5433 Posts: 91 Budding Regular
edited 11:39 in Health & Wellbeing
The last couple days have been alot 😔
Ive made my friend concerned and worried for me, im trying to ease her and make out like im okay.

TW - Self-harm
yesterday i went gym with her but she saw that my whole are was bandaged up. She knows ive relapsed with my self-harm but didnt question it until today 😢
This time round my self-harm has happened alot more in varying severity i guess i can put it. Like it doesnt need any medical attention as ive dealt with it myself, but i know this is why she most concerned and worried for me

Everytime she messages I cry because I know she truly wants me to be better but I hate burdening her. She trying to get me to start taking my medication again so I feel better but I dont deserve it and don't deserve to feel better.

Why am I like this?
Why am I being so pathetic and basically crying for no reason?
Post edited by Azziman at

Comments

  • shannon_164shannon_164 Posts: 513 Incredible Poster
    @Lottie5433 i just wanna say you’re NOT being pathetic at all!! although you might feel like you have no reason to be crying, maybe there is a reason that you just haven’t realised yet? and that is ok - you don’t have to know why you’re crying🩷

    sending so much love your way lottie🫶🏻
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,510 Boards Guru
    I know you might not believe me but I promise you do deserve to feel better! 🫂 You’re not being pathetic either 🩷
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,143 Boards Champion
    Hey @Lottie5433, I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a difficult time lately. I can hear how you're feeling upset at the moment. It's really lovely that your friend is there to look out for you. She's reaching out to you not because you're burdening her, but because she's chosen to care for you. You deserve to feel better, you deserve to be supported, and you deserve to have lovely friends like the one you mention here, because you do matter and have value.

    That being said, your feelings are valid - it's okay to feel sad and cry if that's how you feel. We can't always choose who looks after us, but it's nice to be cared for by those around us - we cherish those people in our lives, and you've got a great friend there by your side right now :)

    You mentioned self-harm recently, so I just want to check that you're safe at the moment? We're here to support you through this, and please do use this space to let us know how you're doing! I've included some support links that you might find helpful as well <3
    Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
    Samaritans (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
    Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
    Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
    Childline | call 0800 11 11
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    Thank you @shannon_164 and @AnonymousToe for your kind and supportive words ❤️

    Sorry it's taken a while for me to respond and acknowledge you ❤️
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    Hi @Azziman

    It has been a difficult time lately but trying to just deal with it by myself. I just feel bad that she's having to checkup on me to see if im okay, like she puts up with alot from me. Her response was that "she's not putting up with me its what friends are for," and I'm truely grateful for her.

    I just dont feel like I deserve to have her as a friend or to be supported by anyone 😕

    The thing is I don't know if I am sad It just felt like I was crying for no reason - it just took over me. Although when I spoke to the samaritaians they put it as "it show how low i actually am, and its okay to cry there isnt anythjng wrong with it".
    My friend is a truely amazing person for me to have in my life and im glad the world brought us back together after a few years apart ❤️.

    At the moment I am safe, ive tried to distract myself from engaging anymore with the SH. Im just now worried about next week as I have to see the Eating disorder team for blood test/physical tests again and they are going to see it all and im scared what they will say/who they may tell 😔.

    Thank you for the support links ❤️
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