Numb and hopeless (TW)

AnonymousToe

I dont know why I’m even making this. I have other stuff to reply to but I have no energy or motivation. Everything just feels so pointless. I’ve just found out I might not get the support I need at uni because the government or whoever it is don’t fund the thing that I need anymore. I literally can’t access the course. I dont know what’s gonna happen. I kind of just feel like there’s no point doing anything. I’m not taking care of myself very well. It’s 5am and I’m trying to go to bed but what’s the point?? I dont know why I feel so shit, it’s not even confirmed I won’t get the support. But I’ve learnt to expect the worst. I kind of just feel nothing. It hurts less that way.

sinead276

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling a bit hopeless at the moment with this uncertainty hanging over your head about whether or not you'll get the support you need. If it ends up being that the support can't be given, it may be of use going to a tutor, student services or even the student union to see if there is anything else they could maybe do for you (not sure who you have gone to already about the situation). Fingers crossed the university is able to find ways to help you and make the course accessible as they can for you, as that is what you deserve.

I know it is so much easier said than done, but remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time.

Sending you a big hug

AnonymousToe

I redownloaded this game I used to play, to give me something positive to do each day and a reason to get out of bed. But my mum just says, “You haven’t got time for that! You’ve got more important things to be doing. You can play that game in years to come.”
Why does my life have to be exclusively study? I used to live like that at school and it destroyed me. Nothing I do is ever gonna be good enough for my mum. This game literally got me through my A levels and I got perfect grades so i dont know what her problem is.
I’m just so frustrated with everything right now

Azziman

Hey @AnonymousToe, thank you for sharing how you feel with us. I can hear how you've not feeling great lately. It's sad to hear the news about not getting the support you need at university, and I can appreciate how disheartening it is to hear. I really hope that the university can find another way to support you as it's important for you to access your course.

I can hear how you've not got much energy or motivation at the moment either, and that, combined with the news of support and the comments from your mum, these are all contributing to a feeling of frustration. Given the situation, your feelings are valid, and it makes sense why these would leave you feeling frustrated.

It's important to make sure we get the important things done of course, but it's also important to pay attention to our wellbeing. If playing a game for a part of the day helps you, it has value to you. And if you're feeling low on energy and motivation, then it's important to listen to that - not just as something to "fix" or "work on", but also knowing your limits on what you'll be able to do on that day. Be kind to yourself - you're going through a rough time. Doing our best is the best we can ever do, after all. We're here to support you through this difficult time

AnonymousToe

It’s all just reminding me of how things were at school when they couldn’t be bothered to support me because it was too much work or whatever. It’s really hard to have the motivation to do anything when you feel like everyone’s given up on you. I don’t think that feeling is really justified now but the circumstances are a little too similar to how things were a couple of years ago and I guess it’s just brought all that back.
I take a break from revision and then I end up swamped in this stuff. It’s hard

eylah

AnonymousToe wrote: »

It’s all just reminding me of how things were at school when they couldn’t be bothered to support me because it was too much work or whatever. It’s really hard to have the motivation to do anything when you feel like everyone’s given up on you. I don’t think that feeling is really justified now but the circumstances are a little too similar to how things were a couple of years ago and I guess it’s just brought all that back.
I take a break from revision and then I end up swamped in this stuff. It’s hard

im sending you my love and hugs 🫂 bc your so important you mean so much to me im here if you need anything

AnonymousToe

I feel like I’ve ruined everything. I have an exam this week and I’m not at all prepared because I’m struggling to do anything. I dont know if I should tell someone that but I don’t want to. People don’t tend to react well to my hopelessness. There’s just no point. I’ve ruined it all. Everyone’s gonna hate me and I might even have to retake the year at this rate. I’m just not cut out for uni. But I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to drop out. TW: My life feels irreparably destroyed. I hate myself and I hate all of this. I just feel like giving up.
I’m safe.

AnonymousToe

I feel like I’m losing my mind

amy02

Sending you a big hug @AnonymousToe Just checking in to see how you've been feeling today? It sounds like you have so much on your mind with this exam coming up - we're here for you Take it easy and be kind to yourself. Is there anyone at uni you'd feel comfortable talking to? The wellbeing department can be a good place to start or a personal tutor? Keep us updated

AnonymousToe

Thank you @amy02 today has been a much better day but I’m very stressed.
I’m scared how people at uni might react if I tell them how I feel. I am in contact with the wellbeing people but it’s kind of hard to tell them everything right away

Riley_2001

@AnonymousToe
Gosh, I’m so sorry to read about how you feel currently. It’s really sad and hard to read. We’re all here for you, if you need anyone at all. I think you’re doing wonderfully well for everything that’s going on. I hope you’re okay today and feeling good going into the weekend. I’m studying law at the moment and I speak to the wellbeing teams, they can really helpful. I hope you feel comfortable and safe enough to openly discuss it with them and the help they can offer. I don’t think your life is irreparably destroyed. I think it will become a beautiful path that you’re working hard at making, even when it all feels so hopeless.
Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself. 🫶