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My 2025 poetry thread
Rose113
Community Champion Posts: 2,938 Boards Guru
Disclaimer// I know it’s not strictly 2025 but I keep loosing my poems so to start this is my new poetry thread 
Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
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They only love me when I’m happy
When I’m not being a bother
And for the pain to be unseen
Smiling and acting as if nothing is happening
Giving my all to hide the truth
But when my world crumbles to pieces
No one could care
Not even the tiniest bit
Im just left alone to struggle
Im constantly wondering
how sad I have to be
For someone to actually worry about me
But people will just keep forcing me
To insist that everything is always fine
Nobody is coming
To save me
I wish I was just forever asleep
I don’t want to be dead, just gone and left to be
Not to be vanished but to be hidden away
In a fairytale dream, where everything is a breeze
A peaceful and pain free life of hopes and dreams
Maybe it’s okay if I just slipped away
To be hidden away in a silent slumber
With no pain to bear
And no tears to be strained
I’d be happy in my harmonious land
I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to be here
Stuck in a painful cruel world, too hard to bear
I’d rather be alone in anywhere far from here
A place where my scattered thoughts can heal
Where my wounded heart can just be set free
Too feel the way I want to feel with no fear of shame
For nothing to be said and nothing to be done
I don’t want to die
I just want to be free
For my world to stop caving
For all the doors to close
Away from those who seek for pain
So the world can stop moving, then I can finally breathe
Returning back to a younger state of mind
Mostly just toddler years age 4 and below
But the midst of darkness likes to take a toll
It’s supposed to be my little space
Where the little child within me can come out to play
Except the pain and fear locks me in
It’s meant to be a coping mechanism
Tho it’s like my heads version of self harm
With hidden secrets and a scary place
There’s a 3 year old frozen in my head
a little like me but more girly
She comes out to play
when times get overwhelming
She’s wild and bubbly
Just full of joy
She does have her flaws
Though you see this little girl
Wasn’t nurtured to be where she is today
She has a background filled with abuse
Where her heart was constantly bruised
She’s learning to heal with the help from A
In her comfort messaging space
A safe little home with games and love
Even when it’s long distance she’s loved
There’s another little hiding in the shadows
She’s nothing like me but kinda a multi personality
A traumatised 2 year old
In her own broken world
Nothing like me
Nothing like my life
A strange little thing
As we are nothing compared to thee
But when the darkness overcrowds it all
We’re left with the switching to all
From one little to another
Our head has no idea which to become
A foggy feeling filling the mind
There the terrors of AGR
No one understands the complication
Unexplainable answers to why it occurs
These are the terrors of my AGR 💔
The lonely pain that storms my head
as I miss you every day
I miss your calming voice
And your warm hugs
I know your sitting with me
when the night gets dark
Oh how I wish I could go back in time
to hold you close to my heart
I’ll do anything to see you again
I miss you more than my heart can comprehend
Your an angel in the sky
But deep down I wonder
where are you now?
I close my eyes each night and dream
I see you dancing happy and pain free
The weight of the pain that lingers in me
Is worth it to know that your now free
I miss you grandma 💔
I hope the day that death finds me
Will be the most special time in my life
The day that death greets me
With its open arms that I can bind
When I can meet my family
In the place I’m meant to be
Where my heart can finally fly free
I used to wish upon death as a little kid
It’s probably really bad to wish for
but now I know why
As a child I dreamed for it all
I wished upon the stars in the sky
I wished through every birthday wish
I gave everything in me for it to come true
It never did but I still wish for it to be
To gain my wings and to be finally free
From the grasps of this cruel worlds grip
I’ll keep wishing
Upon the stars
In each Christmas wish
Upon the birthday wishes as I blow out the candles
I - I’ll forever say I’m okay
T - To avoid the shame
S - so no one has to pretend to care
O - or to yell at me in shame
K - keep the peace
A - act like I’m okay
Y - you don’t have to pretend to care
Dear 2025, a new year
Though some things will remain
I know it won’t be “my year”
A repeat of the last 4
Pain, trauma and more
The same dark thoughts
The same stupid habits
Empty promises…
I’ve learned to hurt
Without letting it be known
Things will happen
The same wounds will open
I stitch up my own damage
It’ll be a lonely year
A year to tear me apart further
Sending you lots of love and strength, We will be here for you in 2025
Also thank you
Poignant can mean a couple of things! But in this case, I meant that your poem is deeply moving and heartfelt
How long will I have to scream
For everyone to see that I’m not okay
How long will it be
For everyone to see my cry for help
How long will i have to pretend
Until someone sees through my fake smile
How many silent tears will i have to hide
Until you notice something is wrong
When will you see I’m not okay?
Dear future me
Dear future me
is there even a future me
Doubt I’ll make it past 18
But this world is full of surprises
I wasn’t meant to make it past 15
Except somehow I did..
Dear future me
What can I even say
Just don’t be the fuck up that you are now
Don’t carry on being useless
Worthless, a waste of space
Just don’t!
Don’t carry on being that person
The one that no one likes
The one that is a freak
Be normal
Or is that not possible for you
Can’t you tell that she can’t be fixed
The emotionless smile she has
The many plans she holds for safe keeping
Secrets of her world coming to an end
Letters she hides ready for the special day
Can’t you see she’s leaving soon
That’s why she wears long sleeves
It hides the scars of her trying to hold on
The wounds she causes daily
Do you see??
Can’t you see she can’t do this anymore
She can barely breathe trying to fight
She can’t hold on much longer
Can’t you see?
How long will I have to scream
For everyone to see that I’m not okay
How long will it be
For everyone to see my cry for help
How long will i have to pretend
Until someone sees through my fake smile
How many silent tears will i have to hide
Until you notice something is wrong
When will you see I’m not okay?
We let the pain of the world bring us down
We let the weight of everything clog our minds
Look beyond the pain and the weight
What do you see?
People would say light
“Light at the end of the tunnel”
Even I know that’s not true
It’s just a statement
We let the pain of society break us
The stereotypes and expectations
But why can’t we believe a simple sentence
Or even a small statement
“Your not alone”
“We care”
But we don’t believe those words
Bad words have the most excruciating pain
Good words have the least significance
I suppose it’s safe to say that words matter
Words hold the most damage
Words DO matter!!!
I guess you could say I’m exactly that
An eccedentesiast
It’s all just hidden behind the smiles
If I told you the darkness that lies inside
You’d run away and hide
I used to not be this way
I wanted to talk about it long ago
To scream and shout
But after darkness, pain
All I could do was whisper
I’m an eccedentesiast
I’ll hide behind a smile to avoid
I don’t want to be the burden
I hide a thousand feelings behind the smile
Do you even understand?
Your world seems to be all sunshine and rainbows
So maybe you don’t see the pain that burdens me
You’ve got it all in check
But I’m just a wreck
Overwhelming pain to bear
It carves into me like a *removed sharp name*
Do you understand?
My best friend is a *removed sharp name*
Always there when I need it most
There to punish me when things go wrong
An easy solution so no one needs to care
I deserve it most beyond anything compared
Do you understand??
Do you?
Please…understand!
“User not found” is all I see
Do you think you’ll change that and tell me
What did I do wrong to make you delete me
Was it because I fought for myself when you were mean?
“User not found” it hurts that it comes to this
I’m sorry for the boundaries and for breaking free
I stood up for myself so you would see
I’m not just a push over I am a human indeed
“User not found” I guess this is the end
The chance to move on when I don’t want
The comfort of your grasp I miss
The terrors you held upon me
“User not found” that’s all I’m left to see
User.not.found…
I fell in love with the pain you showed me
I find myself missing it so closely
You have a peice in my heart
Something I love so much
Pain, hurt and more
Thank you for showing me the way
You showed me the way of life
I fell in love with the lessons of what I deserve
Pain, hurt and more
I’ll forever need to endure
It hurts deep down but above I love it ever so much
Pain, hurt and more
I deserved all the pain you showed me
All the things bad
All the stuff I endure
Pain
Hurt
And more…