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Feeling inferior
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,587 Boards Guru
I feel inferior at times, like everyone is better than me. I often feel guilty because I think everyone is working while I’m not. When I go out, I notice that everyone around me is working, and it hits me that others are moving forward while I feel stuck. The uncertainty of my situation makes it harder, and although I know it’s common for people to be out of work, it also makes me think it will be more competitive. I often feel the need to get things off my chest, and the unfulfillment is getting to me too. I’m at a point where I’m considering volunteering to gain experience, so I’ve been looking for and applying to volunteer roles, which I prefer to call placements. Although it’s demotivating not to get paid, if it helps me and is short-term, I’m up for it.
Right now, I feel fed up because while most people get up and go to work, I get up and stay home all day, feeling bored. I understand that not everyone’s life is as it seems, and while that helps, I still want to have the life I desire. I want to reach my goals and fulfill my potential not for anyone else, but for myself, to be comfortable. I’m a private person, so I’d keep my achievements private because I wouldn’t be doing it to impress anyone or show off, but just for me.
I just really feel unproductive so I get guilty about that, I used to and still do just feel a bit sensitive about what I do at during my at home. Although it's improved a bit, like Im putting in the effort, I still see being unemployed as being unemployed. It feels like I was in the same position a year ago. I had something planned, but it went badly, and the year before, I was in the same situation because what I was doing wasn’t really working. This year, yes, I’ve been trying, but I haven’t gotten the outcome I wanted, which is a job role. It feels like I’ve just been looking for a job as if it’s my first one, and I wonder how hard it can really be. I just feel behind because I know maybe statistically people are out of work, but people I know, like my friends, are in work. A few of them have advantages, like work experience and things I haven't had. I’ve done things like go to college and take courses, so it’s not like I’ve done nothing, but since finishing, things didn’t go too well. I maybe could have used more guidance and support, which you get in college, but in the real world, you’re more on your own. I have some support now, and I’m just trying to follow all the guidance I get. I wonder why it’s all a bit of a rocky journey.
Right now, I feel fed up because while most people get up and go to work, I get up and stay home all day, feeling bored. I understand that not everyone’s life is as it seems, and while that helps, I still want to have the life I desire. I want to reach my goals and fulfill my potential not for anyone else, but for myself, to be comfortable. I’m a private person, so I’d keep my achievements private because I wouldn’t be doing it to impress anyone or show off, but just for me.
I just really feel unproductive so I get guilty about that, I used to and still do just feel a bit sensitive about what I do at during my at home. Although it's improved a bit, like Im putting in the effort, I still see being unemployed as being unemployed. It feels like I was in the same position a year ago. I had something planned, but it went badly, and the year before, I was in the same situation because what I was doing wasn’t really working. This year, yes, I’ve been trying, but I haven’t gotten the outcome I wanted, which is a job role. It feels like I’ve just been looking for a job as if it’s my first one, and I wonder how hard it can really be. I just feel behind because I know maybe statistically people are out of work, but people I know, like my friends, are in work. A few of them have advantages, like work experience and things I haven't had. I’ve done things like go to college and take courses, so it’s not like I’ve done nothing, but since finishing, things didn’t go too well. I maybe could have used more guidance and support, which you get in college, but in the real world, you’re more on your own. I have some support now, and I’m just trying to follow all the guidance I get. I wonder why it’s all a bit of a rocky journey.
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Comments
I completely understand where you're coming from, it must be quite disheartening when some of your friends are in work but you haven't landed anything yet. It's really good to hear that you're looking for some volunteering placements though. These can be super helpful at showing employers that, along with your college courses, you are developing soft skills which are super helpful for a wide range of jobs.
I agree that it can be so difficult to get help and support with this type of thing once you've left education, but it is really positive to hear that you are putting in a lot of effort to getting a placement somewhere and that you have some form of support in place at the moment. It's super important to remember that you are doing the best you can right now, it sounds like you're really making an effort.
I think with these things it also depends on the time of year you apply for jobs and placements too, I know at Christmas time it can be quite hard to land a permanent job anywhere, hopefully it'll get a little easier in the new year. Just remember you always have the community to lean on when you need it
@Matthew_04 Thanks so much for the supportive kind reply bro, great words my guy.
I totally hear what you're saying about the guilt that you're coping with, and how hard it is to feel like you're 'stuck' and having to deal with so much unknown. Honestly, I think that's one of the hardest things we can expereince - not knowing what's coming next or when things might change. It can leave us feeling so in the dark, and that's really hard and frustrating
In terms of the guilt about being 'unproductive' - oofff, I can relate to this so much. There's so much societal pressure to always be 'doing' and 'producing' and to have something to 'show' for our time, and it can make it extreamly hard and even shame-ridden when our day-to-day routine looks different to those around us or the kind of daily work we're doing (such as job hunting, taking care of yourself, deeping your connections here on Community etc) isn't valued in the same way as paid, employed 'work'. It can be so demotivating as you say, and can really start to impact the way we think and feel about ourselves as people too, which is so hard.
As you said, this year you've been trying exceptionally to move towards the kind of future you'd like for yourself, particularly with job hunting. I really want to acknowledge and celebrate just how much thought and time you've put into this, @TheNightmare . I hear you saying that it's hard to be stood at the end of 2024 and to look back and feel that you don't yet have the outcome you were hoping for. But every interview, every application, every post made here where you're working through your feelings, every hour spent envisioning what you'd like for the future - it matters, and it isn't in vein
You mentioned that being inside the house can feel tough, and I wondered what kinds of nice things you might be able to do for yourself out-and-about these next few days?
Thank you for sharing, @TheNightmare and please know that you are worth so, so much more than your employment status, and you're so deserving of a role that feels right for you. We're all rooting for you!
@Sian321 Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful message. It really means a lot to feel understood. What you said about guilt and the pressure to always be "productive" really spoke to me, as it’s something I struggle with daily. Hearing you acknowledge the effort I’ve put into this year, even though things haven’t gone as I’d hoped, was really comforting. It’s easy to forget the small steps I’ve taken when I’m focused on what hasn’t worked out, but your message reminded me that those steps matter.
Honestly, it’s this amazing community that’s getting me through all of this, and I’ll always be grateful for it. Your encouragement has given me hope and reminded me that my worth isn’t tied to my job or anything else. Thanks so much for your support and for reminding me I’m not alone. I keep feeling like Im posting too much and being repetitive but you are all here for me. It truly means the world, it does sometimes make me feel emotional.