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Worrying about when I have to finish off here
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,621 Boards Guru
I have posted about this before but I wanted to talk about when I have finish off here, its been playing on my mind still because I have had a bit of stressful week, I think but this has helped me get through it, just like during these times because overall this year has been hard for me, I started with a setback at the start of the year and not longer after having that, I jumped on here to talk about it and you were here from me then just how I have been feeling during the rest of the year you have just been here for me, Im repetitive but you have all been here for me without judging me. I have spoken about some deep feelings and you all offered support. I really do appreciate it so much. Sometimes I feel like without this space, I’d be suffering alone, and I don’t know how I’d cope because bottling things up feels dangerous. The pain and thoughts of being alone can really take over if I don’t let them out. I’ve always felt like I needed a place where I wouldn’t be judged, and being here has been that safe space for me. It’s given me a chance to talk openly, feel listened to, and not worry about how others might perceive me. What I really like about this is that it’s not just about mental health. I can also talk about lighthearted topics and other things I enjoy, which is such a relief when I need a break from heavier thoughts. At the same time, I get scared when I age out of this community because I worry about not having this support when I leave. I have felt at times like everyone’s going at me, and coming here has reminded me that people do care and that I’m not as alone as I sometimes feel.
This community means so much to me because it’s helped me in ways. I even want to express my gratitude and show my appreciation for how much this place has done for me. It’s not just a space it's been so important to me when everything else feels too much. I'm just a bit worried what im going to do when I have to finish off here and I'm going to lose this support. I still have a while yet but I just feel a bit scared about it all too, also it might be coming to a point where it might be hard cut off point and not gradual as it previously or currently is.
This community means so much to me because it’s helped me in ways. I even want to express my gratitude and show my appreciation for how much this place has done for me. It’s not just a space it's been so important to me when everything else feels too much. I'm just a bit worried what im going to do when I have to finish off here and I'm going to lose this support. I still have a while yet but I just feel a bit scared about it all too, also it might be coming to a point where it might be hard cut off point and not gradual as it previously or currently is.
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Comments
@Lucy_21 thanks so much and I'm sure it's the same for you too.
@amy02 hey, thanks for your reply, it's still just a bit scary even though there's other places as I will have been here long term and it's been helpful and I just don't know if it would be as good as here.
It feels really beautiful how much you have cherished the Community space, and I can really hear that being able to express yourself without judgement has been something really precious Not to mention getting a space to be light-hearted and joke around too!
It feels so understandable that you're beginning to feel nervous about moving on from The Mix when the time does come. This Community has been part of your day-to-day for a while now, and I can imagine the thought of not having an out-let for your feelings here anymore is really, really daunting. The years where you felt alone and had to bottle up your emotions sound extreamly hard, and it feels really important that you're acknowledging that you want something different for your future - you don't want to have to feel that alone ever again, or to have to carry everything on your shoulders. That makes sense, and you are so deserving of the same support that you recieve here elsewhere in your life.
I know it's a bit of a different situation, but I remember feeling similiarly when I was getting ready to end counselling with a therapist I saw for just over three years. She meant so much to me and helped me through some really dark times in my life. The thought of not speaking to her each week was really frightening at first, and I remember the idea of ending with her felt like a kind of grief. I wonder if you can relate to that? For me, in the months leading up to our ending together, it really helped to try and find alternative spaces in my life where I could express my feelings. For example, I began to try and open up a little more to certain friends, I experimented a little bit with meditation as a way to be with my feelings, and I also tried to build up some hobbies that could help me with anxiety (I love to bake when I'm anxious - it keeps my hands busy so my mind feels quieter!). I wonder whether there might be some things you too could begin experimenting with these next few months - maybe journalling some thoughts down before posting to Boards, just to give yourself the experience of expressing them somewhere else first to see what that's like? Or maybe even opening up to someone in your life about Community and explaining to them why this space has mattered to you? Just an idea! Maybe these could be some places to begin
It was hard, but leaning into the process of ending counselling ultimately helped me a lot. And I just want to acknowledge the fact that you're already doing that here too - starting to talk with us about the eventual ending and what that brings up for you That takes courage, and I'm really glad you can be honest here. Even though an end-date will eventually come, we can walk-up to that date together and be here to support you in saying goodbye.
Sending a big hug! @TheNightmare !
How are you taking care of yourself these days as these worries are playing on your mind? Don't forget to be kind to yourself
Hi @Sian321 , thanks so much for your thoughtful and supportive message. I really appreciate how you understand the mixed feelings about leaving this community space behind. I definitely feel a connection to the idea of grief when it comes to ending something that's been a big part of my life. It's hard to imagine not having this outlet for my thoughts and feelings, especially when it's been such a safe space to express myself. It's a bit daunting to think about finding other places to connect, but I know it could help me keep expressing myself. It feels scary to step into something new, but maybe it’s something I can try, even if it’s just a little bit at a time. At the moment, I’m finding things tough, but I’m really trying to focus on getting through each day. Some days are harder than others, but I’m doing my best to take it one step at a time. Thanks again for your support it really means a lot to me right now. Sending a hug back.