Funeral

Chloe234

Travelling tomorrow to go for a funeral on Monday. Packing and stuff today and even though I didn't really know the person, just getting ready for the funeral is making me feel so shitty. It's reminding me again how it was when I was preparing for my stepmoms funeral over 2 years ago. I feel so shitty tho because I don't want to go to the funeral and it makes me feel like a terrible person

I've got to spend 2 nights with no privacy at all though too as I'm sharing a family room in a travel lodge with my 2 older sisters and dad and I like my space but I'm not gonna get that. I'm gonna get no sleep either because my dad snores

Sian321

Hey @Chloe234 , thanks so much for your message. This sounds really hard, esspecially as memories of your stepmoms funeral are coming up again. How is it making you feel to remember that time in your life?

It's totally valid that there's a part of you that's also not wanting to go to this funeral, though I hear how much guilt that's creating for you. It sounds overwhelming not to get much personal space when you're there, and to potentially struggle to get rest too because of your dad making noise. I know for myself when I'm grieving I often prefer privacy, because I find it overstimulating to be around other people on top of trying to process my feelings. I wonder if you relate?

I hope you can speak kindly to yourself, @Chloe234, because it feels like you've got a lot going on this weekend, and truly there's no right or wrong way to feel.

Is there anything you can think of that might help you get some privacy over the next few days? For me, sometimes making a calm music playlist and listening to that in the car through noise-cancelling headphones can help me feel like I'm in my own safe 'bubble' even if other people are close-by.

Thinking of you, Chloe

Chloe234

Hey @Sian321 thankyou so much for the reply

Pretty rubbish to be honest. The grief from losing my step mom is definitely surfacing again a lot but then all I wanna do is try to hide it because I wanna be there for everyone at the funeral tmmr. I feel bad for saying it but I'm not really grieving the person who's funeral it is purely because if the fact, I didn't know him.

Yeah 100%, if I'm struggling in any case all I usually want is space or for the person to let me come to them if I need them but being in the hotel I won't get that and it frustrates me. I also just genuinely like the space as I often struggle at night so it'd be a bit harder to hide and cope. I'll just end up getting even more overwhelmed and overstimulated

I don't really know, I've got my noise cancelling headphones and music on at the moment as we're in the car on the way already. I can't have them on fully tho as I've been in put in the front so dad has someone to chat to and keep him awake if he wants it while driving and if my headphones were fully on then he'd get moody. I won't really have anything in the hotel room though.