(Mentions of weight) How to be okay with gaining weight when building muscles at the gym?

bignosegirly0

I’m a woman and I’m mildly underweight. As much as being underweight makes me feel better about myself, I know my weight effects one goal.

Because I have a flat body, I’ve been trying to grow my glutes for a year or two. I’ve been pushing myself to consume more food and protein because in order to reach my goal, I need to gain weight.

But a part of me doesn’t want to gain weight because I feel as if being underweight makes me feel as if I’ve achieved a noteworthy goal that most women don’t achieve, hence making me feel more worthy and special.

The heaviest I’ve been is over the past year or two. And even then, I felt ashamed and tried pushing myself to my previous weight.

Edit: not to mention, when I gain more muscle, I also gain belly fat, which makes me feel disgusting.

How can I be okay with gaining weight in order to achieve my goal?

HensAny779

Hi @bignosegirly0 hope you are well! It sounds like you are having a tough time with your body image and I want to let you know that your emotions are completely valid.

As someone who has been overweight/obese most of their life and only recently started to significantly slim down, I can assure you that as I started to see more definition myself I was far more critical in my imperfections. I think social media has a lot to do with this issue, we may look fantastic in public but when looking at Instagram we look below average compared to everyone else. It is essential that bare in mind that these "perfect" bodies online are on the verge of fantasies, these people will go to extreme measures in order to look their best... dehydrating/starving themself, getting the correct lighting and camera angles.

I recently have been guilty of restricting myself... to the point of passing out in the gym. The one thing that has really helped me is having the majority of my calories earlier in the day.

Some people tend to have stubborn muscles which just refuse to go, I would recommend switching up your workouts a bit, try something new. How often do you train your glutes? It is key to recognise that putting on weight when trying to gain muscle will really help you. So maybe change your mindset slightly... "I am gaining weight so that my body can grow". It is very common for people to up their calories and gain weight when trying to "bulk up". Also, a large amount of the weight you put on is likely water weight and not 100% fat.

Most importantly please don't let that scale define you, there is no "ideal" weight that you should strive for. I wonder if you believing that you look disgusting if you put on a few kilos is a form of internal pressure, the pressure which makes us feel we need to look like models.

Hope this helps!

Azziman

Hey @bignosegirly0, thank you for sharing your experience on here with us. I can hear your goal to wanting to build muscle is complicated by concern over your relationship with your weight - you're certainly not alone in that, as it's a common concern for people in your position!

@HensAny779 makes some great points so I'll avoid repeating what's been said. The key thing that you mentioned that I took note of was that relationship between your self-worth and your weight. That's the key to the answer to your question on feeling okay in gaining weight to reach your goal - it sounds like you have opposing goals at play.

As mentioned above, there's several influences such as social media, advertising and comparison to others that reinforce the idea that "weight" is inherently bad. It's worth exploring that relationship between self-worth and weight - aiming to be "healthy" rather than "light" is where your two goals will align in a more sustainable way.

What do you think about your relationship between weight and self-worth? We're here to listen and support you!