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Self esteem

TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 2,142 Boards Champion
in Health & Wellbeing
I'm working on my self-confidence. I think it's something that I've improved but I'm still working on improving more. I feel it's a bit of a battle because I try to think positively and focus on my self-improvements, even small ones. However, I sometimes think about not having secured a job yet. I try to acknowledge my efforts, but I often compare myself to others, and sometimes comments make me feel like my efforts are dismissed. I think I may have had better confidence, but I feel it's been affected by things not going too well. My confidence has been very low, to the point where I saw myself as worthless, even when I wasn't doing too badly, like in college. I believe being on a course I didn't like didn't help either back then. Critical comments often get to me, and I've previously not been confident about my appearance, but I think I've improved in that area. I worry a lot about what people think of me. I've had quite a lot of things that haven't gone too well, so I tend to add them up, and it can affect me. I often think about what's wrong with me, and I can dwell on setbacks from years ago. I think once things start falling into place a bit, my confidence will also get better. I've been in situations where things have picked up a bit, but then something has gone wrong again. There have been times when I thought things would improve, but then they didn't. For example, this year I thought things would improve because I had something planned, but then it failed, and that has affected my confidence too.

Comments

  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,299 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @TheNightmare. You are doing so well reaching out to us and sharing how you are feeling. It sounds like you have had a particularly difficult week, although you can recognise some of your improvements too.

    I can hear how it is particularly affecting your confidence when things go wrong - especially when you thought they would go right. Is there anything, in particular, at the moment that is impacting your confidence?

    I note you have recently had an interview, would you like to talk to us about how this has gone for you?
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  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 2,142 Boards Champion
    edited November 3
    Laura_tigger82 wrote: »
    Hey @TheNightmare. You are doing so well reaching out to us and sharing how you are feeling. It sounds like you have had a particularly difficult week, although you can recognise some of your improvements too.

    I can hear how it is particularly affecting your confidence when things go wrong - especially when you thought they would go right. Is there anything, in particular, at the moment that is impacting your confidence?

    I note you have recently had an interview, would you like to talk to us about how this has gone for you?

    @Laura_tigger82 appreciate the reply as always. I think whats impacting my confidence atm is just not quite being in work yet, due to a few things like stigma towards people not working, hearing comments, the stress of it, being bored and unfulfilled. The interview went ok too, it was kind of a group interview, I said I'm fully flexible which I am, I said previous things I have done too and they asked if I have any holidays over Christmas which I don't, if I did it would have been an issue as they need staff over that period, that's a bit of a positive.
  • Orchid059Orchid059 Moderator Posts: 300 The Mix Regular
    Hi @TheNightmare understandably your confidence probably feels knocked at the moment and it is completely normal to feel that way. Unfortunately, as you mentioned there still is a lot of stigma around being unemployed especially with the pressure from family members. It's important to remember though that your path is your own and just because others are at different stages to yours doesn't mean that you're any less behind. Despite everything you remain resilient and keep putting yourself out there and that is a very important working attribute!

    I am glad to hear that the interview went okay- it's all a learning curve too.

    You're doing so well so keep it up! Let us know how the results of the interview go. Do you know when you will find out by?
  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 2,142 Boards Champion
    Orchid059 wrote: »
    Hi @TheNightmare understandably your confidence probably feels knocked at the moment and it is completely normal to feel that way. Unfortunately, as you mentioned there still is a lot of stigma around being unemployed especially with the pressure from family members. It's important to remember though that your path is your own and just because others are at different stages to yours doesn't mean that you're any less behind. Despite everything you remain resilient and keep putting yourself out there and that is a very important working attribute!

    I am glad to hear that the interview went okay- it's all a learning curve too.

    You're doing so well so keep it up! Let us know how the results of the interview go. Do you know when you will find out by?

    @Orchid059 thanks for all of that, it is a learning curve too, I would hear by Friday if I did get the job, if not then I'll get further support.
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