situationship…?

shannonxg_

i guess i just maybe want advice on this? i’m not even sure to be completely honest

basically i am friends with this boy, i have been for about 6 years now. he more or less immediately wanted a relationship and me not feeling the same way put him off a bit, but we spent months talking non stop then.

throughout the whole time i’ve known him he randomly blocks me on everything for no genuine reason and it kinda hurts at times like what did i do to deserve this? idk im probably just being silly.

he got with another girl, which i didn’t care about like he’s free to do what he wants with his life it didn’t bother me, but what did annoy me was he acted as if i didn’t even exist for the duration of their relationship.

they broke up. he came back as if nothing happened. i just kinda got over it thinking life’s too short to hold a grudge over something that really isn’t that big a deal?

they got back together and the same happened again. i was just forgotten about. after they broke up for good, he text me about it and kept saying how he was really sorry and everything.

we were then talking for a long time and it was kinda going somewhere? stuff then happened and i really isolated myself from everybody. i didn’t really to him for a few months (or anyone really). he had then blocked me on everything except tiktok so i messaged him there and he just said about having to think about it as i did just stop responding for a few months - which i understand and that’s okay that he needed time.

we then did start talking about but it was like sooo awkward? it just wasn’t the same. he left me on read for about 6 weeks then finally text me saying he was sorry for taking so long to reply but he was unsure of what to say.

he then text me asking if he could ask me something but then said it didn’t matter it wasn’t fair to ask me. he then did ask me, basically he is just asking if he could borrow a small amount of money. i don’t know what to do. we haven’t spoken properly for like a year. i don’t have a fear of like what if he doesn’t pay me back as i know he would and i also want to help someone if i am in a position to help.

i just dont know what to do like he keeps putting “xx” on all messages now n everything. im kinda scared of being used in a way too?

this all probably sounds sooo silly but yeah

stardust444

@shannonxg_ i don’t think this sounds silly at all, i think how you’re feeling is completely justified!! if you did still want advice, i think you shouldn’t be pressured to give him the money as he hasn’t always treated well and you deserve someone who does ❤️

i completely understand if you want to help him because you seem like a very kind person but I promise it would be justified if you don’t feel comfortable giving him the money. trust your gut

Azziman

Hey @shannonxg_, I can understand how this feels confusing. It's important to know where we stand with people, and whether we can trust them. Being blocked intermittently, being left on read for a long time, and getting mixed messages, all sound like you're not being treated with respect and that he's not being clear with you as to where you stand. If a friend told you that they were being treated this way by someone, what would you suggest that they do here? You deserve to be treated with respect, and know where you stand with your friends!

I'd echo what @stardust444 says about borrowing money. It's nice to know that you're looking to help people and be kind! I'd just warn you that lending money is something to be cautious about. You'd perhaps lend money to a good friend who you trust (you only have so much money to spare after all!), but I'd be careful about lending money to someone who's asking you for money after not talking properly for a year. Ultimately it's your decision as to what to do though. What do you think you want to do in this situation? We're here to support you

Alwayshope2day

@shannonxg, I've dealt with similar behaviour from a guy who I thought was my friend. I think the best perspective I've had on this is "he didn't know how to handle it." These types of behavior reflect immaturity in relationships, and they definitely don't reflect kindness. Someone said to me, "Be thankful you found out what he is truly like."

With money, it is good to keep a generous heart as you have . But money is also something I'd say is to be trusted with the trustworthy. This guy hasn't shown he has a character of maturity or kindness. I know I wouldn't want my money to go to someone who shows those characteristics. Also, asking for money when he hasn't treated you well! You deserve to be respected. And I'd say not giving your money away to someone who has treated you like this, is in in keeping with self-respect and self-love.

It is your choice, but don't be pressured or guilt-tripped into it. If you make that choice, it should be yours to make.

We're here if you want to think things through