Feeling stuck in the process of the job hunting

TheNightmare

I'm not 100 percent yet. I just feel posting like this can help. I'm feeling stuck in the process of the job search as it's been going on for so long now. I feel negative about things due to how long it's taking and the setbacks. I keep dwelling on the past when I think I should be focusing on the present, but it can be hard due to negative experiences, etc. I think I definitely need to not let the past hold me back because it's not going to help me move forward. However, I don't think I'm letting it hold me back in a way that stops me from taking certain steps, like my placement. I just need to maybe not think about previous setbacks too much.

I think my people think or are thinking I'm going to give up, but I'm not. My biggest fear is being out of work long-term or, especially, permanently. I don't know what I would do in that case. I don't believe it will come to that; it seems too bad to be true. The previous couple of years have been tough just trying to find my feet. I don't want to blame other people. I realize I may have been able to do certain things to be in a better situation. I think previously I may have let past negative experiences or setbacks hold me back.

Moving forward, I really want to get into work and work towards my goals. I'm trying; sometimes you just need a bit of support getting into work, and I think that's what I need, so I'm seeking that support. I keep worrying about what people think. I've told friends that I'm looking for work, but they probably see me still looking and wonder if I'll ever get something. I compare myself to others because I've seen people secure jobs while I haven't yet. I feel like the pressure is building up extremely as time goes on.

A few months ago, around March or April, I didn't feel as pressured, but now I feel extremely pressured to get sorted. It's been several months, and I'm feeling overwhelmed at home; people are starting to question what's going on and why I'm not working. Some even make comments that can get to me. Hurtful comments really affect me and can linger in my mind for months. In general, I can be quite sensitive to comments, and I don't want to seem soft or overly sensitive, but with so much on my mind, I'm just overwhelmed. I can receive comments about work and other topics that can really get to me. It all affects my sleep because my mind is in overdrive, overthinking everything, and it can be about other stuff too. I feel that I'm moving forward a bit compared to months ago, but I still get negative at times.