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Feeling stuck in the process of the job hunting
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,590 Boards Guru
I'm not 100 percent yet. I just feel posting like this can help. I'm feeling stuck in the process of the job search as it's been going on for so long now. I feel negative about things due to how long it's taking and the setbacks. I keep dwelling on the past when I think I should be focusing on the present, but it can be hard due to negative experiences, etc. I think I definitely need to not let the past hold me back because it's not going to help me move forward. However, I don't think I'm letting it hold me back in a way that stops me from taking certain steps, like my placement. I just need to maybe not think about previous setbacks too much.
I think my people think or are thinking I'm going to give up, but I'm not. My biggest fear is being out of work long-term or, especially, permanently. I don't know what I would do in that case. I don't believe it will come to that; it seems too bad to be true. The previous couple of years have been tough just trying to find my feet. I don't want to blame other people. I realize I may have been able to do certain things to be in a better situation. I think previously I may have let past negative experiences or setbacks hold me back.
Moving forward, I really want to get into work and work towards my goals. I'm trying; sometimes you just need a bit of support getting into work, and I think that's what I need, so I'm seeking that support. I keep worrying about what people think. I've told friends that I'm looking for work, but they probably see me still looking and wonder if I'll ever get something. I compare myself to others because I've seen people secure jobs while I haven't yet. I feel like the pressure is building up extremely as time goes on.
A few months ago, around March or April, I didn't feel as pressured, but now I feel extremely pressured to get sorted. It's been several months, and I'm feeling overwhelmed at home; people are starting to question what's going on and why I'm not working. Some even make comments that can get to me. Hurtful comments really affect me and can linger in my mind for months. In general, I can be quite sensitive to comments, and I don't want to seem soft or overly sensitive, but with so much on my mind, I'm just overwhelmed. I can receive comments about work and other topics that can really get to me. It all affects my sleep because my mind is in overdrive, overthinking everything, and it can be about other stuff too. I feel that I'm moving forward a bit compared to months ago, but I still get negative at times.
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Comments
Thank you so much for this post! We're really glad that you could put your feelings down in words here, because it sounds like a lot to be going through. Whenever you catch yourself 'overthinking', this space is here for you to get things off your chest
Job-hunting can feel like SUCH a personal and discouraging process sometimes, especially when the people around you are suspecting that you'll give up. That's so tough. We hear that your worst fear is the idea of being out of work forever, as well as other people judging you. That sounds really overwhelming, and it's valid that you feel under a lot of pressure because sometimes society or the people around us can make us feel like we have to be 'in work' or to have a certain 'kind' of job. It's a lot to deal with.
You mentioned that thinking about past set-backs has been affecting your self-esteem - is that right? Again, that is valid, and so, so natural to have moments where you internalise those negative experiences. You're not being too sensitive at all - your feelings matter, and it seems like those set-backs were really horrible to go through? You deserve a workplace that feels right for you, that gives you security, and makes you happy. And, most of all, you deserve to find all of this on your own timeline and in your own way. What do you feel you need to help nurture your self-confidence more when it comes to job-hunting? Have there ever been times in the past when you did feel more confident, and what do you think helped you then?
We also just wanted to say that we hear how determined you are, and we're rooting for you! It's okay for you to be on your own time-line. You've got this!!
If you'd like any more practical help with job-hunting, some of these places may be able to give you some advice. And like we said, The Mix Community is here for you each step of the way -
The Kings Trust: https://www.kingstrust.org.uk/
Turn2Us: https://www.turn2us.org.uk/
@TheMix Hey, Thanks so much for your kind words and support, it really means a lot to me! It’s so reassuring to know that this space is here whenever I feel overwhelmed. To answer your first question, I think maybe a placement or something like that would give me confidence and a bit of a taster session into work life too. Also, I think a bit of support with job interviews would help, just to make my answers a bit longer and more in-depth. I sometimes struggle to find the right words, so that could really make a difference.
As for the second question, I think I might have felt more confident during school time, although that was a while ago. Things were a bit easier when you’re that age because there aren’t as many expectations or as much pressure. But at the same time, I’m glad to have grown up and been out of school and college for a while now. It’s just that navigating yourself outside of those environments isn’t easy. I feel like once a couple of things improve, like getting into work, a lot of things should fall into place.
Thanks again for rooting for me—it means a lot knowing people are in my corner!
It also sounds like you are aware of what you need to help you access job interviews, like placements and support with expanding your answers. Have you got any support in place along these lines at the moment?
Some resources you might find helpful include:
The National Careers Service
The Government's Supported internships scheme
Prospects UK
Please let us know if there is anything we can do to support you. We are listening to you and all have faith in you
@Laura_tigger82 cheers for replying, I'm hoping I end up ending up in that position when I'm more confident and all that was said. It can become harder getting into the real world but I want to reach my potential in the future, I really want to reach my goals. I'm getting some support from a programme Im on and companies who give placements. Thanks for the resources, I'll check them out. I really genuinely appreciate you're here for me too, often if I'm overwhelmed or down I realise I have all of you behind me.
Job-hunting can feel really relentless sometimes - I relate to that personally so much, and have definitely been through patches in my life when I had no idea what will come next job-wise or when. It's anxiety-inducing for everything to feel so uncertain and up in the air like that, and I found it really took a toll on my self-esteem. On the hardest days, it helped to step away from job-hunting and to take a break doing something else that made me feel accomplished in other ways - like cooking a nourishing meal, or spending time with friends who could remind me of my worth. Those little 'wins' meant everything!
It also sounds like you have some really clear goals for yourself around, a.) wanting a placement, and b.) wanting support with answering interview questions. That's great! If you knew that success was guaranteed, what do you think your next step would be? How's it been going so far getting support from the programme you're on and the companies who give placements too?
Keep us posted!
@Sian321
Thanks again for your support – it really means a lot! If success was guaranteed, I think it would just be getting a job that I can manage and that provides enough income to save money and buy nice things too. As for how things are going, it’s been okay so far. I’ve done some research myself and found a company that offers placements. A few months ago, they had a placement with a company I didn’t want to work for, but they’ve got other options now, so I’m doing another placement with them next week. Yesterday, I had a session to check my basic literacy and numeracy, and everything went well, which I didn’t expect, so I’m feeling good about it. They’ve invited me back on Monday, so I’m looking forward to that. Thanks again for all your encouragement – it’s really helping me stay positive!