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Hospital

spacedogspacedog Posts: 1,192 Wise Owl
in Health & Wellbeing
Left hospital twice now to get really really drunk but they said they wouldn't refer me to alcohol services because I don't have withdrawal symptoms but they said if I get drunk or anything one more time they would discharge me and throw me out - I'm just sitting in my wee corner on the floor. With my blanket and my pillow and I've just been crying and crying and crying and there's also one nurse that's the same age as me and every time I see her it just breaks me down and I cry and cry harder because she's doing so much with her life and I'm just "abusing the care given to me" and being a complete failure I want to kill myself

Comments

  • spacedogspacedog Posts: 1,192 Wise Owl
    Still no one knows what's wrong with me
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    Hey @spacedog, I hear you. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, it sounds like you've been having a rough time lately. I can understand how the threat of being discharged and thrown out could feel isolating, but you absolutely deserve to receive support through this difficult time. You have value and worth, and we're glad to have you as part of our community here <3

    I can understand how comparing yourself to others who are in a similar stage of life to you can make you feel anxious or upset. But importantly, you're not abusing any care. Care and support is specifically there to help people who need it. And in this case where you want and need support, you're deserving of it, simple as. There's enough to go around for everyone who needs it, and that includes you too.

    Are you safe? It sounds like you're in a really difficult situation at the moment. I've included some support services below who you can contact if you need someone to talk to. They might not be able to explain what's wrong, but talking about what's on your mind can help to lift some burden off your shoulders. In the mean time, please let us know on how you're getting on. You're not alone, we're here to support you and listen to you during this time:
    Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
    Samaritans (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
    Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
    Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
    Childline | call 0800 11 11
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  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,632 Part of The Furniture
    Assiman wrote:
    But importantly, you're not abusing any care. Care and support is specifically there to help people who need it. And in this case where you want and need support, you're deserving of it, simple as. There's enough to go around for everyone who needs it, and that includes you too.
    100% ^

    I'm so sorry @spacedog. What a horrible ordeal. There's nothing worse than being in the pits and needing someone to just meet you where you're at, but then they don't. You're not drinking to have a laugh, you're sick, and I kind of hate that they used that language with you "abusing the care given to you" because you are obviously not doing this on purpose.

    I don't know if this will help because it may not resonate right now, but I only started to put my life together in my 20's. It's important to show yourself the compassion and patience you need to become well, to figure some of this stuff out, and understand yourself and what you need. You're a very kind and capable person and I think you'd be giving other people in this situation a lot more slack than you're giving yourself right now. Try to go easy on yourself.

    Keep crying it out if you need to. Other than this community, have you been speaking to or seeing anyone while you're in hospital? Any family or friends?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • spacedogspacedog Posts: 1,192 Wise Owl
    @JustV I think my old psychiatrist in hospital - she was brilliant and she did say she thinks it's because I just don't have direction or much in my life which the more I think about she is completely right - my current psychiatrist though is very keen on medication but I don't feel I need it. I think right now my plan is to study paramedic science which I think I'll really enjoy - it's given me purpose too and instead of the music route as although I might get a career in it I don't want to at all anymore to be honest - I want to go into nursing or paramedic
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Purpose sounds really important to you @spacedog. Recognising what career you do not want anymore is really powerful! Knowing what you want to do instead is such a key step in the right direction. Do you know what your next steps might look like in terms of studying paramedic science? :)
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  • spacedogspacedog Posts: 1,192 Wise Owl
    Idk all these colleges are so shit - they tell me if I want to get my highers that I need I need national 5s that I don't have and to get those qualifications I need subjects that I never got in school - and with introduction to paramedic science courses I need to be out of education for at least 3 years??? I don't understand why
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