I need an option TW eating disorder

Lucy_21

Hey I’m 21 now but this starts at primary school. (Not sure on age but I think year 4 to 6) At this point I had no problems with eating I was just small so couldn’t have much. (4,11 now so yeah) My teacher didn’t listen when I said I was full because to her it wasn’t enough and made me have more. I ended up throwing up in the hall in front of my whole year.
Due to my processing problems stuff tends to effect me later like sometimes months later so I wasn’t bothered for a long time.
Fast forward to year 11 AKA Hell. I was bullied badly for the whole year. I couldn’t eat properly for a bit like I could just not as often, not in the way you’re probably thinking I just stopped feeling like It and had anxiety with exams and the girls at me every day wich messed with my stomach anyway. Then just before my first exam my nana AKA bullying rock/best friend died suddenly.
I again ate less because again I didn’t have the energy or motivation but did if I had to just less. My teacher made the mistake of trying to force me wich brought the time in primary back and it messed me up. Now since then I feel like throwing up when ever I eat even if I choose to like some kind of reflex or something.

Does it sound like some kind of disorder to any of you or am I just being stupid?

amy02

Hey @Lucy_21 thank you so much for sharing this with us, I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to go through that loss alongside the bullying and throwing up You're so brave for speaking out. Eating disorders can take many different forms, and the website Beat has some interesting information about it if you'd like to read. Have you thought about approaching your GP about the throwing up? If it's a step you're comfortable with, they could help with medical device and offer appropriate support
Keep us updated with how you are, we're here for you

Lucy_21

Thank you I have been debating it a while but that’s where I’m confused. I thought EDs are were you hate eating and stuff like that but that’s not my case. I do hate eating at most times because the reflex makes me feel sick but I don’t ever actually do it. I never eat with people though. It’s not an appearance thing or anything like that I just have a sort of brain reflex where eating connects those two times. I eat little anyway due to my size but I also eat as little as often because I have them in my mind. Most times I have to feel physically dizzy before getting anything. These are the reasons I’m wondering if it counts. As for the GP my mam just thinks I’m being stupid so doesn’t listen. Is she right with it being in my head or could there be something?

Lucy_21

I needed more advice on this but different so will just add it here instead of a new post. I have periods of time were no matter what I eat I feel sick no matter how much I know I need it (it started again today) so do any of you know of ways I can kind of detach myself in a way when I try to eat so I don’t think about it because I tend to feel more sick when I think about the fact I’m actively eating something. Any advice on this or my original post will be very appreciated thank you.

JustV

The answer to your question depends on a lot of things @Lucy_21 and we won't be able to give you an accurate or informed answer just based on your posts.

The one thing I will say is that EDs take aaaaall kinds of different shapes. It's not just about hating eating - it can be overeating, avoidant eating (where you avoid certain foods, certain textures), undereating, sometimes it's emotional and sometimes it's not, sometimes it's body-image related and sometimes it's not. As @Amy22 said, Beat are experts in this stuff so I'd recommend either chatting to them directly or looking over their website for some info.

Likewise you know, there are some difficulties people can have with eating or with food that wouldn't be classed as eating disorders. It all depends on the context really and would require a qualified medical professional to go through it with you.

Seeing a GP might be a sensible first step - you could go independently without your mum's consent if it's something you wanted to do. They can talk to you about the vomiting and the other challenges you have with food and assess your case properly.

Lucy_21

Thank you I hope something works soon

Amy22

It sounds like you are going through a lot right now @Lucy_21 especially having to go through that as well . I hope you are doing ok right now . Also like @JustV and @Amy02 mentioned the charity Beat does a lot for eating disorders and can often support and guidance for it too . Im always here if you ever do need someone to talk to .

Sending hugs,

Amy22

Lucy_21

Thank you so much @Amy22 I did have a look but the site confused me so was hoping someone could give me a breakdown of how it works because with my processing problems I got frustrated and logged off❤️

Aoife

More than happy to share a bit more about the support the organisation Beat offers @Lucy307

Firstly they have a helpline which is open from 3pm– 8pm, Monday to Friday and you can call them on 0808 801 0677. When you contact their Helpline, you will speak to a trained helpline advisor.

They also have a web-chat option available where you can talk one-to-one with a helpline advisor. Their web-chat is available Monday to Friday from 3 pm to 8pm, and you can access it from this page on their website - https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/one-to-one-web-chat

They also have an email service available and you can contact them by emailing help@beateatingdisorders.org.uk. They reply back to emails from Monday to Friday from 3 pm to 8pm.

They also have a range of online support groups where you can text-chat with others going through similar experiences. There are different types of support groups available depending on the support you're looking for and you can find the schedule over on their website here - https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/online-support-groups/

As well as the support services, they also offer lots of information and articles on their website to help you learn about different types of eating disorders or even read some recovery stories from other people. You can find all of this information here - https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/

I hope this is helpful! Keep us updated with how you get on

Lucy_21

@Aoife Thank you I’ll check now. I’m not really comfortable with the web one to one thing with my anxiety so I think the groups and emails are best for me. Thank you again and yes I’ll let you know what happens once It gets going

Lucy_21

Update
I emailed them saying I need a bit of help they emailed back asking to explain the story and I just sent an email saying the same thing as my original post here about where and how it started and hopefully I’ll get advice soon. Thank you so much for the encouragement to do this. I’m still a bit nervous about doing it but I’ve realized my eating patterns or rather lack of is not healthy especially as I have existing health including heart problems since birth anyway and regardless if my family don’t agree with it or me I’m not going to wait until it does become the kind of disorders we hear about and end up in hospital or something

Laura_tigger82

You have done really well to be able to reach out to them @Lucy_21. Have they responded to you with the advice you were looking for yet? It is really positive to hear you are taking the necessary steps to take care of yourself. This is really brave, especially when other people may not agree

Lucy_21

Thank you @laura tigger82 and no not yet but I did email Friday and they only answer weekdays so I probably will tomorrow and will update because yes it is frustrating when no one family wise is listening but my friends help any way possible including showing me this sight