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Feeling down
Creativeboy23
Posts: 240 Trailblazer
Hello.
I have been feeling low.
I have felt like my support workers are treating me like a victim because I struggle with my mental health, getting up early, and have some other difficulties, which has been making me feel singled out because it is like my main support worker is offering support he would not offer to others because of my difficulties. However, I know that the thoughts are not accurate. My main support worker only knows about my mental health and my other support worker is not even aware. My main support worker wants to be supportive and make sure that I am okay. He would also be showing concern if others tenants were also struggling.
I have felt others will often stress to me that what I am thinking or feeling is inaccurate, making me feel unheard. A helpline worker told me perhaps it was compliment when another worker told me that I had more control of a situation I gave myself credit for.
I have been feeling that I should always think about problem solving my feelings and thoughts, making me self doubt about sharing them due to CBT therapy, although I usually share them, anyway.
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It's awful feeling like you are singled out because of the way that you are being treated differently by your main support worker. That said, you are right that you support worker wants to be supportive and would show concern about others too. I don't know much about support workers, but I'd like to think that they would offer tailored/personalised support to those that they are supporting. It might be that because of this approach to supporting you, that it feels like you are being singled out (even if you aren't, it might feel this way, especially if you've previously been singled out in your life...you may be more likely to pick up on cues that signal this). If you are uncomfortable with how your support worker is supporting you, might it be possible to talk to them and suggest what you would or might find helpful instead?
It's understandable that you'd feel unheard when others tell you that what you are thinking of feeling is inaccurate. I think it can be easier for others to suggest that your perspective isn't accurate and perhaps thinking a different way might help. But this doesn't help you much (especially since your perspective is valid and may actually be true).
Challenging your thoughts is a tricky area. For me, it can be helpful to do this in certain situations...probably ones where I have more control or not many other people are involved. Challenging thoughts when I have less control or other people are involved is difficult because it's difficult to know other people's motives.
I'm probably not explaining this very well but I once heard about someone who was on a course and felt they were being treated differently who then got told that wasn't the case and to talk about it in therapy instead. But I pointed out that there is a difference between feeling like you are being treated differently and actually being treated differently. CBT and challenging thoughts may be more effective in the former, but may be less effective in the latter situations, because of actually being correct about being treated differently.
If you find CBT therapy helpful, then keep going with it. But if not, maybe talk to the therapist about adapting CBT to suit you or perhaps find a different type of therapy that might help you more.
Hello @Maisy.
No. I am struggling with feeling singled out due to my perception of receiving support differently to other tenants.
Well said. I could message my support worker.
I already spoke to my therapist about feeling invalidated in my CBT sessions and told her that I felt counselling would suit me better. Then, after the CBT discharge, I felt that I should jump straight to problem solving my feelings and thoughts whenever I am struggling with them. I have been put on the waiting list for counselling.
I think it would be a good plan to message your support worker to explain how you're feeling, if you're comfortable with that and think that it might help you?