Rant

Amy22

I didn't know where to put this but I needed somewhere to vent. Don't you just hate it when you ask your parent for help and all they do is get frustrated (I know they have got a lot heath issues and their eye sight inst the best and I appreciate that they can't do a lot). But im too nervous sometimes to ask for help anymore because all they do is get frustrated. Today I noticed there was an issue with my laptop which started yesterday but I was so nervous to ask. So i asked if they could take a look today and they got frustrated and started yelling at me saying I should be more cautious and that if the problem happened yesterday then I should have asked yesterday. I decided to tell the truth and my other parent tried to explain that I dont like shouting. They did apologise to me in the end. But the truth is I never forget anything. It's always been like that. Sorry for the late rant. They are genuiely a good person but im so unsure sometimes.

Maisy

Sorry to hear that your parent gets frustrated when you ask for help. Understandably this would make you feel anxious about reaching out for help in the future, when you feel you will only get a frustrated reaction, rather than help.

It sounds like the parent you asked for help has a lot of their own issues. It might be that they get frustrated because of their issues and perhaps they feel unable to help you, leading them to feel unsure of what to do and acting out of frustration instead. When I've had to ask for help from people I suspect might get frustrated, I try to think of how I can fix the issue myself or if not, what I need from someone else to help. I might then be able to anticipate any barriers or potential reactions (and how I would handle the reaction) before seeking help. I try to do this so that my asking for help doesn't come across as too urgent or too demanding, which may only stress the person out further. I also think that choosing a time to ask for help can also play into the stress levels- if the person is calm and not doing too much, they might be less frustrated. I'm not sure if any of this helps you at all?

It's good that your other parent tried to explain that you don't like shouting. It can be really difficult to ask for help when you worry what the reaction will be, and worse, when you get shouted at. Naturally you don't want to be shouted at, especially seeing as the issue with your laptop might not be your fault and you've already been anxious trying to get help to begin with. It's good that your parent apologised, though I understand that you never forget. It might be that they don't realise how they come across or let their emotions get the better of them. Is it worth talking to them about this or perhaps the other parent? It's also okay to realise that they are a good person but to also acknowledge that they aren't particularly good at dealing with requests for help or that they can be easily frustrated.

No need to apologise. I'm glad you were able to vent to us

Amy22

Thank you @Maisy it may be a good idea to maybe have a chat. Also the reason why I put this in the neurodiverse thread instead of the normal one is because of my autism I dont like loud noises such as shouting etc. I know its a trigger of mine but it feels like whenever I try to explain that they dont understand.

lunarcat522

@Amy22 I don't have much to say in response to this thread other than I can completely relate to this - I feel like my parents can get frustrated quite easily at me sometimes and it just triggers and ramps up this feeling inside me of being a disappointment because it just feels like proof if that makes sense.

Completely relate about the shouting, for me it's because it can be unexpected and loud but also because it just feels like I've messed up so badly because of the reaction being as "drastic as that".

You're definitely not alone in this I'm sure there's lots of others that can relate too!

Amy22

@lunarcat522 thank you .

sinead276

@amy22 - like lunarcat522 said, you're definitely not alone in this - whilst my parents dont often 'shout' at me for asking for help etc, I'm an overthinker and often resort to assuming they'd think i should be able to do it myself. I think in general I'm just a person that doesn't like asking for help.

But I totally empathise with how you feel, and hope you are feeling a bit better from it this evening

Sending hugs
Sinead

Amy22

Aw thank you so much @sinead276 things have been a bit better now.