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Felt my autistic struggles were dismissed

Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 207 Trailblazer
edited June 14 in Health & Wellbeing



I shared with my support worker my struggles with independent living with my autism impacting my mental health. He expressed that he felt I was doing fine. So, I felt unheard. I thought he dismissed my struggles and did not take them seriously. I felt he treated them as being unreal. The situation brought up experiences where others supported the other person’s feelings, making me invalidated, and I think they would be only focussing on him. It also reminded me of when I felt my dad and mum showed a lack of understanding of my autism when I lived with them. However, it is unlikely he intended to make me feel that way. It is possible he thought I was being modest and tried to assure me that I am doing well with my skills. I could have not appeared to him as struggling because I may have appeared as getting on fine with my independent living without realising. A past support worker told me that I come across as fine. So, people do not think I need support. Nevertheless, my feelings are still valid regardless. I would know if I am struggling. My struggles are real. It is understandable to feel upset when others do not believe your difficulties.


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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,169 Part of The Furniture
    Hello @Creativeboy23. You have done really well to share this with us and your support worker, despite feeling unheard when you spoke to your support worker.

    You deserve to feel heard and your experience validated. It can be difficult to live independently with your autism (especially when it is also impacting your mental health).

    What might help it to feel more manageable to live independently with your autism and the impact on your mental health - do you currently have people who support you with your living?

    I believe you, particularly as an autistic person who shares some of these difficulties, and I am here with you <3
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    Sunshine12Sunshine12 Posts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @Creativeboy23 i'm sorry to hear ur support worker invalidated your experience/feelings like that, that must of been so frustrating, especially as they're meant to be there to help u, not make u feel unheard. Sending lots of love <3
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    Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 207 Trailblazer
    edited June 17
    Hello @Laura_tigger82.

    I know. I have shown great strength in opening up about my feelings and struggles.

    I could ask my support worker to help me break my struggles down into manageable steps, but it is going to be difficult because he did not take my struggles seriously. My parents do not understand my autism. So, having people supporting me with independent living is a yes and no-situation. I also feel many people do not know how the autistic brain functions, which means some of us can receive neurotypical care, making it challenging for some of our needs to be met. There have been some positives too though. My support worker has helped me to develop excellent budgeting skills. I was able to build my cooking skills independently, which I could not do much when I lived with my parents.

    Thank you for your support. ❤️

    Post edited by Creativeboy23 on
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    Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 207 Trailblazer
    edited June 17
    Hello @Sunshine12.

    It was frustrating and disappointing. It left me feeling ignored, stuck in my struggles, and doubtful about them.

    Thank you for being so supportive. ❤️

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    Sunshine12Sunshine12 Posts: 136 The Mix Convert
    Hello @Sunshine12.

    It was frustrating and disappointing. It left me feeling ignored, stuck in my struggles, and doubtful about them.

    Thank you for being so supportive. ❤️

    I'm sorry to hear they left u feeling so dismissed and unsupported, that's really annoying, no one should have to experience these feelings.
    No worries, i'm happy to chat any time <3
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