Family life

Slinky

Family life is kind of tough, without going into too much details and boring you all. I really want to leave but I know that I can’t or that my options are limited because of being under 18 and basically it’s just really complicated.

I don’t go to school and I work a lot. I think I might be a bit stupid because of this. My family take the piss out of me every chance they can get because I have no respect in our community and like it’s just shit lol I feel weak and crappy and like not very manly. I can’t do much fighting or anything and any fights I have had I’ve lost which made me lose more respect and I’m treated lowest if the low.

I don’t really know how to word this or what I even want from this post but idk I just have no one right now other than my family. We don’t really speak to outsiders unless it’s through working. I don’t really need advice or anything maybe just wanted to say how crap life is lol

Matthew_04

Sending you lots of hugs @Slinky
Navigating family life can be so tricky, especially when you're under 18.
It's great that you are able to reach out here though, this is a safe space for you to vent, we're all here for you

sinead276

hope you're doing okay @Slinky - feel free to vent and say whatever is on your mind here - and we'll support you however you need, whether that be advice or an ear to listen to you

Sending big hugs
Sinead

Maisy

Do you want to talk more about why family life is tough for you? You don't have to do, if you don't feel comfortable, but rest assured, you won't be boring us either.

It sounds really complicated, having issues with family and wanting to leave, but knowing your options are limited because you are under 18. That said, it's good to keep things in perspective and realise that you will have more freedom once you are 18.

You are not stupid. School is a place to nurture learning, but learning isn't limited to just school. We can learn things from our everyday life too. You mention that you don't go to school but that you work a lot...is going to school (or even just learning in general) something that you would like to do?

I'm sorry to hear about the way your family (and the wider community) treats you. That must feel awful. However, just because you feel or are treated like you have no respect, it doesn't make it true. No-one should be reduced to just one thing e.g. how good someone is at fighting. Though it might not feel like it, just because the community you are in has different values or doesn't respect you, it doesn't mean that this is the only or the right way to live either. For example, in other communities, fighting might be seen in a more negative light and so it wouldn't be considered 'manly'...in fact, in some communities, you'd have more respect for not engaging in fights.

It sounds difficult not having many people in your life that you can talk to. For one to one support, you can contact our team https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team Otherwise, you've always got us on the discussion boards

Slinky

Thanks so much @sinead276 and @Matthew_04 sure I really appreciate the kindness 💙

And @Maisy thanks so much too.

I guess it’s just that I get pushed around. I understand why, like they want me to be more like them and more masculine. I’m not saying I’m feminine but I’m not strong, tall and I’d be hesitant to argue and fight if that makes sense. But it’s not working like I fail every fight I have and just end up wrecked for a few days. No other fella is struggling. My cousins are fine even my younger ones. I think there’s something wrong with me. I have like these annoying thoughts in my head and none of them do. I wish I was more normal kind of lol but that’s something I’ve got to fix myself

And yeah I’d love to go to school tbh. I can read and write which is more than most of them can do. Most can’t even spell their own names. I’d love to learn more and make friends outside of my community. It’s hard to do. I know I have the mix but it’s complicated but tbh it’s nice to know I can come back here. I feel more understood.

That makes sense about the values in different communities. I never thought of it like that. Would be cool to be in a community like that hey. Thanks for that perspective though, maybe I’m not weird. Just born into the wrong community 😂

Sindy

Sometimes it's not advice u need.
Just sending love n strength 💪 ❤️
Keep strong in whatever u do x

Azziman

Hey @Slinky , thank you for sharing your experience here with us - I can hear that it's a difficult thing to open up about. I just want to say that with all you've been through, you still have worth and value. You're doing your best, and deserve to be heard and supported! It might be some time, but once you're a little older, you'll be able to access a much wider range of people from different backgrounds. Sometimes, we are born into a community where we belong; sometimes, we find a community where we belong later in life. You'll find yours in time too