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Doing nothing (vent)

AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,380 Boards Champion
You’d think a gap year is so easy. My parents tell me off when I can’t cope because “you’re not doing anything!!!” but having such an empty life is half of the problem. There’s no reason to go to bed. There’s nothing to do anything for. Every day is the same, and I feel like I’ve failed. I don’t have anything to focus on, not in the same way as I did with school. That took up most of my time and almost all of my brain power. It just feels better when you actually do something, I suppose. School was awful, so I feel like I should be fine now. At least I’m not overworking myself every day. It was so hard. But I was doing something. Now I’m just nothing. My brain can go all over the place because I’m not using it for other things. Sometimes I’d do homework to wear myself out and slow my thoughts down. I suppose I could still do that. I just don’t have the motivation to do anything because there’s always the next day - there’s no deadline for anything. It sounds like it should be relaxing but it’s just depressing. It’s been the strangest few years ever, I’ve just had the most demanding and exhausting few years of school and now… there’s nothing? It sounds so easy but it really isn’t. I don’t deserve for anyone to care about me this year because it’ll have no result. I’m contributing nothing to anyone. I feel like such a waste of space. And no one cares because I’m doing nothing.
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Comments

  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 2,133 Boards Champion
    You’d think a gap year is so easy. My parents tell me off when I can’t cope because “you’re not doing anything!!!” but having such an empty life is half of the problem. There’s no reason to go to bed. There’s nothing to do anything for. Every day is the same, and I feel like I’ve failed. I don’t have anything to focus on, not in the same way as I did with school. That took up most of my time and almost all of my brain power. It just feels better when you actually do something, I suppose. School was awful, so I feel like I should be fine now. At least I’m not overworking myself every day. It was so hard. But I was doing something. Now I’m just nothing. My brain can go all over the place because I’m not using it for other things. Sometimes I’d do homework to wear myself out and slow my thoughts down. I suppose I could still do that. I just don’t have the motivation to do anything because there’s always the next day - there’s no deadline for anything. It sounds like it should be relaxing but it’s just depressing. It’s been the strangest few years ever, I’ve just had the most demanding and exhausting few years of school and now… there’s nothing? It sounds so easy but it really isn’t. I don’t deserve for anyone to care about me this year because it’ll have no result. I’m contributing nothing to anyone. I feel like such a waste of space. And no one cares because I’m doing nothing.

    @AnonymousToe I'm going through a similar situation right now it's so hard.
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,299 Part of The Furniture
    I can hear you are both really struggling at the moment @AnonymousToe and @FordRanger. In all honesty, although work can be busy sometimes, unemployment was the hardest time for me too. It is really important for you both to take care of yourselves during this difficult time and keep hope - though that can be easier said than done! We really care about both of you. What might self-care look like for you both at the moment? <3
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  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,616 Extreme Poster
    Like Laura said, it can be hard to feel like you're doing nothing. I took a year out after my degree before starting my masters and felt guilty for days I wasn't as productive. It's totally okay to feel the way you do.

    As far away as it might seem, a time will come where things start to fall into place and you'll find that purpose or passion in life to do things again. But in the mean time remember to take care of yourselves both physically and mentally, and if you need more support, do keep reaching out

    Sending big hugs
    Sinead
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 66 Boards Initiate
    Hello @AnonymousToe

    Just wanted to say a lot of people also feel the same way as you do when school/college/uni comes to an end. It can often feel very abrupt and weird to all of a sudden have no deadlines. It makes you realise how much education gave you a routine.

    I noticed you mentioned about being on a gap year. Do you have a college/uni course starting after the summer? Or an internship/job?

    It could be worthwhile to find a summer job or even part time work to help ease you into a routine? Or if this is not what you are looking for, you could always volunteer somewhere to help out the community? I’m a volunteer for a few charities myself and I find it really helps to give you a sense of purpose like you are stating you are missing right now.

    Another option is taking up some new hobbies or sports? Is there anything like that you are interested in? You could perhaps look into local clubs within your area?

    Hope some of this helped!
  • Anonymous55Anonymous55 Posts: 40 Boards Initiate
    @AnonymousToe and @FordRanger
    Ok, hear me out...tv. Now I know suggesting that is usually discouraged for whatever reason, but I'm not saying 'go binge watch an entire series or movie or something' because it's easy to get addicted, but sometimes that little bit of extra input is really helpful, and can stimulate the brain into doing something creative. Talking to someone about that new season that just came out and you're so excited et cetera et cetera...it can help you to socialize and enjoy yourself. Maybe it's so interesting you build up some theories, or maybe it encourages you to look into a prequel/sequel or check other franchises. Having something as normal and time consuming as that can really bring a lot of normality and entertainment to an otherwise boring situation.
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,299 Part of The Furniture
    Thank you for offering such wonderful support @Anonymous55. Are these things which have helped you through a similar experience?
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  • Anonymous55Anonymous55 Posts: 40 Boards Initiate
    to a degree i suppose. It helped me cope with issues at school, to just do something normal and happy. It also helped me with my writing skills. I adore literature, but when I want to create a character, it helps to have seen other designs that fit well with the plot, character, and their personality/struggles. It was also a major lifesaver in the pandemic lemme tell ya lol
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