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Can't do this anymore
FordRanger
Posts: 1,304 Wise Owl
A guy who claims to be my friend has been just talking about the fact that I'm not working yet, but I am trying to get things sorted. I have been applying to jobs, currently in college and I did try a forklift course earlier in the year but then got kicked off. I am just so down, I can't sleep. I have been at home all day, and I just feel so demotivated. I think I'll have a bad experience if I go anywhere else. I can't do this anymore; I just feel so negative and down because I don't seem to be getting anywhere yet. His comments are hurtful and make me feel worse. I have been feeling so down and alone because I'm not occupied most of the time. I want to be doing something, earning money, having a routine, but I don't want another bad experience again. I just really don't know what to do about the work situation. People have suggested speaking to college here, so I haven't ignored that advice and I don't ignore any really but I just feel I need to vent and keep needing support. I might speak to them, but also I'm feeling so alone, depressed, and stressed. Then I feel a bit positive, but it's short-lived. I just have to keep everything to myself, that's why I have to keep posting here. This is all I have for support sometimes.
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Comments
I think you're doing everything right - I know you're in college at the moment on a course designed to give you some confidence for work and they've been helping you with your CV. How are you finding that course? Do you think you could reach out to the support staff there to chat through some of your worries?
It's understandable that you might be feeling low and stressed about getting onto the career ladder, and I'm hearing how the lack of routine and not earning is getting to you at the mo. I'm sure most of us will have experienced that feeling of being demotivated at some point or other during the job search. This is completely normal.
Does anyone have any advice for @FordRanger on keeping motivated during the job search?
What you can try to do is focus on the positives and wins so far - you've been applying for jobs, building confidence in your college course, and getting support to write up your CV. These are huge steps towards getting you a job and you should be so proud of yourself.
It's totally okay to keep reaching out here @FordRanger - you don't have to keep these things to yourself, we're here to listen.
@Gemma it definitely isn't nice. Yh thats right about the college course. I did a cv myself and they can help improve it. Got suggested a course for cvs which I don't know if I want to do or need I think my cv looks OK one of the staff said. I can try and see if theres a mentor or anything I could speak to but there might not be. It is lack of routine just bkt earning its all just getting to me then not hearing much back then having setbacks prior to all of this, I should forget about them a bit but they sometimes maybe think I'll have another and more.
Yh, that's a good idea, I try to do that, sometimes it works but I just want to get somewhere with some work, I feel like my positives are insufficient and then people saying stuff like I mentioned above it just gets to me. Sometimes people say stuff about not me but in a similar position to me so that gets to me sometimes too.
Thanks for everything though, you've been replying to a few of my discussions / posts recently and just all the kindess as well as well as positively so I genuinely appreciate it. I feel more welcomed to vent here to now that you said this community is here for me.
This 😔
It sucks mate, I hope whatever you're struggling gets better soon dude 👍 .
This made my day. I feel like I missed out on life. I want to go to uni and meet new people who like the real me. Not the person who I have to be to make everyone else but myself happy.
This is why I like this site. I can express myself honestly without feeling judged.
Im glad it made your day. Im similar, I just want to get into work and yh meet people who have the same interests as me etc. Also this site is good for not getting judged too bro.
Echoing what @Gemma said above, you're making lots of good decisions - applying for roles, taking on a course, getting help to prepare your CV. These are all great actions that are improving your chances of landing a role that you're looking for. Be proud that you're taking proactive steps towards your goal
I'm sorry to hear that your friend was unkind to you about this. Good friends understand when someone is going through a difficult time, and I imagine most people would feel hurt if they were spoken to in this way in your position. Don't let it stop you making the good choices you're already making. And I hope that you're able to find friends that will support you during the tough times and celebrate your successes!
In terms of staying motivated during the job search, I'd mention two things. First of all, remind yourself of why you're taking these steps. Getting a job will provide you with an income source; provides us with a sense of purpose; and opens up a world of opportunities. Every time you're feeling down, remind yourself of this, and that taking steps towards this goal is a solid way to improve your satisfaction in life.
Secondly, don't lose hope. The job application process can be rough, and rejection can hurt. But remember, a rejection isn't a rejection of you - it's saying that you may not be best for that role. And for all the rejections you might receive, you only need one offer to achieve what you want. A good aim is to set some time aside each day to work towards this goal, but also having other activities helps to give you some head space. Keep working at it, and you'll receive an offer in time!
Let us know how you get on! We're all here to support you, and rooting for you!
I do remind myself of all that like income which has been motivation to get applying then having a routine like it all helps. Yh rejections hurt too but I guess everyone gets them it's not personal towards me or anything like they haven't even met me. I just need to keep trying. I will keep you updated too. Thanks genuinely for your support.
@Maisy True, I don't think he does know im applying, I think he knows I'm getting a bit of support though. Also I agree it's none of his business, it's OK to suggest stuff as a friend but he should think maybe before saying these stuff that he's being negative. He doesn't know my situation too, only myself knows my situation fully like my whole thought process, what I find daunting, my experiences how they have affected me etc. I'm trying not to take notice, good advice, it can be hard to ignore but I might be getting a tad better at it. Also hopefully these comments won't be for long too because I will be working then he might even be happy for me. If I get a proper job with proper wage and all that no one can argue with that. Its obviously not just for him though its for me.
Yh, the builder we have is looking for work too, I think other people are in similar positions looking for work etc. I will keep doing that reminding myself about people not knowing my circumstances or situation, that's what I try to do and it works. I even do that myself if I see someone who's not working etc I realise I don't know their circumstances, being in that position myself made me realise that a bit more.
Thanks a lot for replying.