Feeling low

Creativeboy23

Hello all.

I am not looking for advice or to be offered any solutions. I want a listening hear and to feel heard.

I woke up feeling low. I think I thought about how I will miss some social events, and my difficulty with waking up on time causing me to have to call my GP surgery another day. This triggered me to play a scenario where I have felt female friends treated me differently because I was feeling differently to the way my others friends felt, making me feel isolated. This was based on past experiences where I have felt a similar way. Then, I thought about how I have felt that people want to change my feelings rather than accept them when they have made comments like I am sure he/she did not intend to make you feel like that. I had a memory of when a university mentor would offer reassurance when I shared a struggle, which made me feel he criticised my feelings. I know that there are things I can do about my low mood but solutions are the last thing you are thinking about when you are down, eventhough they can help you cope.

lunarcat522

It sounds like a really difficult situation to be in @Creativeboy23

Hope things get better for you, we're here to support you whenever you need

Creativeboy23

Hello @lunarcrat522.

Thanks. I hope so too.

Maisy

Hey there,

Your thoughts and feelings are valid. It's really easy for people to assume that others might think and feel how they do, and then not know how to respond to someone who does actually feel different to them. It wasn't fair of your friends to treat you differently for feeling differently though and it's understandable that this would then make you feel isolated. Having feelings that are different to others sounds isolating on it's own, but more so when others haven't been able to validate your feelings.

Feeling like people want to change your feelings is a tricky subject. In some cases, it may well be that someone didn't intend for a comment or behaviour to upset you. So I can understand why others might try to tell you that the intention to hurt you wasn't there, leading you to feel isolated again. However, just because the intention to upset you wasn't there (as in, it wasn't deliberate) it doesn't mean that your feelings are invalid. Things can still hurt even when someone doesn't intend for it to hurt.

I think of it as like a balancing act....it can help to think about whether the intention to causes offence was really there or not as it can help us decide how to proceed (whether we should just let it go or whether we need to talk to the person and let them know that their behaviour harmed us), but equally, our feelings do matter. Our feelings are real to us regardless of other people's intentions. So sometimes changing our perspective can help but we shouldn't ignore our feelings either.

It is difficult to want to do things that we know might help us when we are in a low mood. You're not alone in dealing with that. I hope that the low mood passes for you though

Creativeboy23

Hello @Maisy.

Well said. Thanks for your support. I appreciate it.

nat_

hi @Creativeboy23 just checking in, how are you doing today?

Creativeboy23

Hello @nat.

I was doing okay yesterday. Earlier today, I returned to thinking about past experiences where others criticised me. I am feeling alright now. However, recently, I have had memories where I have felt like everyone, including one of my support workers and another staff member, was against me when I was at university. This made me feel isolated. I have lost the momentum to take care of my mental health and do not know how to without it taking away time from my day-to-day living.

Azziman

Hey @Creativeboy23 - I'm glad to hear that you're feeling okay. I can hear how feeling like everyone is against you can feel isolating. We all want to feel supported and heard, so not feeling like you have that can be difficult.

Thank you for being honest about how you're managing things - it's not an easy thing to say, but hopefully it lifts a weight off your shoulders to do so. Of course, that's exactly what this space is for, where you can explore these emotions.

Momentum can be a really valuable asset. When we lose it, it can feel like a big hit, and it can look like a lot of effort to restore it. Something I've learned about momentum is that it starts with small steps forward, which, repeated over time, build into a really strong force. Even a tiny change can get the ball rolling! I hope that you're able to get that momentum back in time

Sophien

Hi there, @Creativeboy23
I’m sorry to hear you feel isolated, I know it’s difficult when it feels like or own brains are against us, bringing up hurtful scenarios that just make us feel even worse. Especially when these thoughts are based on painful memories that you do not need being brought up when you’re having a hard time already, it makes it feel even more real and isolating. Having people also not acknowledge your feelings and make you feel invalidated is a horrible experience, especially when all you want is to feel heard and listened to when it came to your university mentor. It’s not always helpful to hear reassurance when it doesn’t acknowledge the things you’re going through and what you’re capable of when you’re at your lowest. Your feelings are valid and it’s okay to not want to have to solve it all right now and to let others know their solutions are not what you need right now.
How have you been feeling about this lately? Remember that the community are here for you

Creativeboy23

Hello @Azziman.

Happy Easter.

Well said. Thank you for your support.

Creativeboy23

Hello @Sophien.

Happy Easter.

That is so true.

I have been continuing to feel very low recently.

I have continued to have hard a time overcoming the sense that everyone is against me. I experienced hurtful scenarios today. My tutors shouted my name and I ignored her, feeling separate from everyone and ignoring them. Then, my tutor reassured me that what she tried to say because I took her words personally. Samaritan’s volunteer made a critical judgement about me when she was giving criticism about a situation I shared with her. Last weekend, I had a catch-up with a friend. I felt inferior to this couple who kissed in the queue, imagining them telling me off about something. I also experienced a hurtful scenario that week. I imagined my friends being serious with me about something when they were laughing previously amongst themselves. I remembered upsetting experiences. A university mentor would often make comments which felt like a criticism of me whenever I shared situations which upset me. A staff member told me to give myself credit. A female told me not to worry about something. A staff member reassured me that she did not say something the way I interpreted it and she smiled with other students which made me feel treated differently to them causing me to also feel singled out.

I have had memories of when family would lecture me about my sensitivity, bringing back the same painful feelings I felt at the time and bring up a hurtful scenario of me not believing the positive comments they made because they told me about my sensitivity.

I shared my mental health with my GP but it was a quick conversation. I felt he just wanted to get me out the room quickly.