Taking back stuff

ellie2000

Is it normal with trauma n sa, is it confusion, I got told to leave it by the popo is tht part of it. ìm having therapy too

Gemma

Hey @ellie2000 just hopping in to see how you're doing?

There are many different trauma responses and some of us may definitely experience confusion as a response to trauma. Trauma can affect everyone different but confusion is a totally normal and common reaction. Remember that however we're feeling is valid, even if we aren't sure how or why we're feeling this way.

There is a really nice article here from Mind around exploring the effects of trauma and treatment.

Can you tell us a bit more about what you mean when you say you got told to leave it by the police?

It's so positive to hear that you're in therapy too. This can be a really good way to process or understand trauma. How are you finding it?

We're all here for you, keep reaching out.

ellie2000

@Gemma why do we dismiss wat hpnd to us? And why do we realise tht somethings wrong yrs after?
Wen I fought back via txt at the enemy, I got told tht they had a child n I should move on. Police told me tht if I didn't stop I would get arrested, why? Bc I wasn't in the wrong. Talking got at SLtrust makes me stay in bed the day after. Y does tlkn bout heavy stuff make u sad?

ellie2000

@Gemma although 1 popo came believed me coz he was in the same swimming group, he sed tht court would b traumatic. N he put it in simple term. I was always scared so wen I saw something like blue flashing lights, or ppl who looked dodgy I used to turn my lights off

ellie2000

I had drug dealers living next to me at 1 point

Gemma

Hey @ellie2000, it sounds like you've been through a lot. It must have been so frightening and frustrating for you to have gone through this with the police. It's so brave of you to keep reaching out.

What I would say is that trauma doesn't have an expiration date and it is totally valid even if it happened a long time ago. Trauma affects everyone differently and the affects of that can often be long-lasting and continue to affect a person even if it occurred years ago.

Sometimes our minds can use defence mechanisms to protect us from the full emotional impact of the trauma. We might not be able to fully process the trauma at the time and defence mechanisms like denial, repression, and dissociation can temporarily push traumatic memories out of our minds in the interim. Or sometimes, we cope with trauma by minimising its significance or rationalising it as not being as bad as it actually was.

Over time memories can become buried as we distance ourselves from whatever happened but if the trauma does remain unresolved, then it could resurface later. And there are certain things that could bring those memories back to the surface, like certain events, experiences, or even sensory triggers.

It's so positive to hear that you're in therapy as this can provide a safe space to explore and process these experiences. But I'm hearing that talking about those past experiences can feel really heavy. It's not an easy thing to relive some of those memories and for difficult feelings to be resurfaced. Opening up to someone about stuff like this requires a lot of vulnerability and trust to share those deeply personal things.

What is your support network looking like at the minute?

We're all here for you

ellie2000

@Gemma I'm away frm bad stuff now. I got a button for if I panic. 😀. I don't hav triggers anymore so police don't come round if I'm saying how it is/was. I'm still quite lonely now and again but I don't say something to make a community panic anymore. I just keep myself in my little sofa corner colouring in, singing, playing keyboard n playing games. I'm still worried about society still bc I'm sometimes on edge speaking to people n their replies.

Laura_tigger82

It sounds really positive that you have things which help keep you feeling safe, as well as being physically safer due to being away from the bad stuff now @ellie2000. We can hear how you still feel worried sometimes though - talking to people and their replies. Has there been a particular case recently where you have been worried about speaking to people and their replies? Your thoughts and feelings are valid here.