TW// Sorry that im a big fat bother that should just die 🤦‍♀️

Rose113

I hate crying infront of people. I hate complaining about my problems because deep down i know my problems don't even matter and people don't really care. The people that you think are ment to that start at first but still dont anymore, the people you give your heart to that just shatter it in a minute. The people become the tornado in your head yet it becomes a long term thing that happenes at random times and not something that happened when you felt overwhelmed or sad. I wish I could tell someone everything yet I cant and it sucks but that's life. Most of the time I miss me. The me that used to be happy and half okay and now im just nothing other than a worthless unwanted nobody. It hurts to admit but I know its so true. I'm constantly fighting my head. Fighting to keep safe, fighting to stay alive constantly. I'm hurting so much. Mentally I'm fighting every battle and physically I've given up. I cant look after myself no more. Idk how to. This is the me that has been built from childhood abuse, pain and depression. People think they understand every aspect of my life and some do but some pretend, try having to live with your abuse articles online. Try finding out that your dad is dead just by looking at Facebook a year after he died. Try having to constantly be haunted by the thought of you being the reason for your dad's death just because of a stupid hallucination. Try being overcrowded by the feeling of wanting to leave your body because people constantly call you a girl. Just think about it...let it fully filter through...

Laura_tigger82

You have done really well to reach out to us @River. I can really hear the hurt and self-blame you are feeling, as well as the feelings of isolation and not feeling like people care.

You are worthy in your own right and your thoughts and feelings are valid. We know how hard you are fighting and we are proud of you for that.

We can see how you keep putting one foot in front of the other even when this is really tough. We are here with and for you during this fight. We care

Rose113

Feel crap today and have bad vision. feel so out of it

amy02

Hey @River I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday, it can be really hard when something sets us back Remember you are so worthy and capable, and are so deserving of happiness. How have you been feeling today?

Rose113

@amy02 𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚞𝚜

Rose113

𝖥𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗋𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗇 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗀𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌

lunarcat522

Here for you @River if you want to talk

Amy22

Im also here too if you do need someone to talk to

ameliaJayne

@River It sounds like what you are going through is really difficult and so I feel your frustration when you say that people wont understand. Every experience is unique to you.

I just wanted to remind you that your problems really do matter and that you are so cared for and wanted. You are mean a lot. Remember that. Try to remind yourself everyday. You are doing such a great job of getting through the difficult days and so make sure you give yourself credit!

Well done for reaching out and speaking about what has been getting to you. Sharing your problems is a step in the direction and can make lots of people feel better.

I hope you have a great week and make sure to keep checking in with us. You are doing a great job.

Rose113

@ameliaJayne Thanks...