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Mum wants to move but i dont

PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 46 Boards Initiate
edited January 1 in Home, Law & Money
So basically, my mum wants to desperately move houses. The house I live in is perfectly fine, she just wants to move back to the (very expensive) city that I grew up in because she is used to it.
Im in college and i had to see 4(!) Different sixth forms just to find one that would allow me to retake my gcses! The others just pushed to do level 2 btecs. (Idk if im allowed to say names of cities on the mix) but if my mum moves back to the city we moved from, we'll be living in a rented house and moving houses every 2 years. My siblings are in year 6/7 and for them, its fine they can move but for me its more difficult. My mum doesn't care at all about what I feel.
Sometimes, my mum says she wants to move to the USA, or to dubai, we aren't nearly rich enough to go to these places but my relatives are. She keeps on saying that if i fail or dont get a grade 7 in my resit i did in November she'll move countries. Idk what to do.

Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,788 Extreme Poster
    Hey @PetiteQuark, I can hear that this news can feel unsettling. Moving house is a big deal - we're all used to our normal rhythms and communities, and it sounds like it took quite a bit of trial and error to find a sixth form that would allow you study as you wanted. Especially as a young person, moving place can have a big impact, so I can understand why you'd feel frustrated if you don't feel listened to in this decision.

    Ultimately, the decision will lie with your mum, as she's the parent and guardian here. That being said, I think it's still a good idea for you to keep communicating with your mum. Explain to her your feelings about this move, because your feelings are valid. And perhaps try to understand the reason for her wanting to move so much, at this time? Your home city, Dubai and the USA are very different places, and not getting a Grade 7 in a GCSE resit probably isn't the best reason I've heard for a family to move houses(!).

    Could you tell us a little more about what you make of this situation, and how it makes you feel? Your opinion is important, and you have the space here to express yourself :)
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  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 46 Boards Initiate
    Azziman wrote: »
    Hey @PetiteQuark, I can hear that this news can feel unsettling. Moving house is a big deal - we're all used to our normal rhythms and communities, and it sounds like it took quite a bit of trial and error to find a sixth form that would allow you study as you wanted. Especially as a young person, moving place can have a big impact, so I can understand why you'd feel frustrated if you don't feel listened to in this decision.

    Ultimately, the decision will lie with your mum, as she's the parent and guardian here. That being said, I think it's still a good idea for you to keep communicating with your mum. Explain to her your feelings about this move, because your feelings are valid. And perhaps try to understand the reason for her wanting to move so much, at this time? Your home city, Dubai and the USA are very different places, and not getting a Grade 7 in a GCSE resit probably isn't the best reason I've heard for a family to move houses(!).

    Could you tell us a little more about what you make of this situation, and how it makes you feel? Your opinion is important, and you have the space here to express yourself :)

    My mum says that she lives far from my dad, my siblings' dad and her friend so she has no one, my relatives live in the US, so she wants to move there. I dont have alot of friends nearby, so if i want to stay near my college I dont really have anyone, my dad lives far away in another city, it has always been like that, and he probably won't let me stay with him. About 3 years ago, We had to go to the USA, because of my mums personal problems that didn't really affect me, unfortunately, or luckily she can't stay in the USA so we had to come back to the uk, but we moved houses
    Now my mum has put the house on sale, now shes talking about going to the Usa, dubai or Pakistan or whatever, if i dont get a 7 (i got a 4 on my retake) i keep asking her to let me continue with college so maybe i can get a higher grade but she calls me a disappointment and that i wasted so much money. She acts like as if i dont care about my studies but i do, i do try!

    She keeps speaking to my aunt about moving countries my aunt is very supportive of my mums plans but i can't move countries like this, my aunt says that if my mums happy, then i will be happy, but right now, to put it bluntly, I don't care about my mums problems! (Right now), I have my own problems to deal with! And I don't have anyone really to help me so its just me alone. My mum always says that she's all alone, but guess what? I can't ask my parents to help me with my issues, I don't have a stable life either, I can't really get my own place (im not sure if i can live on my own at 16) i feel so disappointed in myself and i hate myself because im not intelligent! And my mum always pressures me to do medicine because she wanted to be a doctor though my grandad wanted her to be an engineer(i wanted to do physics but i kinda gave up now) and now because my gcse grades aren't really good, she calls me a disappointment and thinks that i dont care about my studies and tells my siblings that im a bad example.

    I hate life, people always say that life is a gift but what sort of gift is this. I can't even do anything and im not even smart. Everytime some alevel student cries about gettibg a B i just scoff. Atleast theyre smart enough to get in alevels.
    lunarcat522
  • amy02amy02 Moderator Posts: 74 Budding Regular
    Hey @PetiteQuark I'm so sorry to hear about your situation - it must be really stressful and unsettling not knowing what will happen. I agree that communication with your Mum is the best way forward - it will probably help her to understand your perspective if you tell her that you really are trying and want to achieve your best at college. I know it can be difficult, but try not to let your grades etc. to determine your self worth. 'Smartness' encompasses so many things and should not be measured in a single score / exam etc. I'm sure there are so many things you are 'smart' in and excel at :) Just remember that not everyone has to follow the traditional path - there are many ways to get into different subjects / careers. I hope your moving situation gets more settled and please know that you really are smart enough to achieve in life <3
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