Worried about relationships

FordRanger

I'm a short guy, Im only around 5 foot 4 so I am a bit worried about when I want a gf Ill struggle. I worry girls won't like me. I at some point I do want a girlfriend. I think the average height for a female is 5 foot 4 but I heard a lot that most women wont date someone the shorter than them especially or same height or even a bit taller so even like 5 foot or 5 foot 1 girls might not date me. Also I see a lot of women who are tall. I would prefer a girl shorter than me amd would probably avoid a woman taller than me tbh so I'm more limited.

EmmaLou30

Hi @FordRanger !

I think it is important to remember that you are amazing no matter how tall you are! I understand that this may be something which you are worried about, however, people should not be discouraged by your height.

You are an incredible person regardless Most relationships occur naturally, and I am sure when the time is right, you will come across an incredible female who absolutely adores you

EmmaLou30

Hi @FordRanger
I just wanted to let you know that I've moved this discussion into the Sex & Relationships category so that you can hopefully get some support which is tailored to your worries

Past User

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leyla26

@FordRanger I'm gonna agree with a lot of what has already been said! There's a lot of pressure on men in lots of ways like being tall or being able to provide etc, but at the end of the day, woman are all different so there will be people out there who are perfectly okay dating someone their height, and there's lots of girls who are your height or smaller so you still have lots of options! More limited doesn't mean you don't have still People who don't really care will be less likely to talk about it rather than people who are opinionated so want to get that opinion across, they might be less spoken about but there will be people out there for you who will date a guy who is 5"4. You have lots of other qualities that they can focus on rather than height too!

David

I'm 5ft 11. A 5ft 2 girl rejected me, telling me that I'm "far too short". I don't understand why most girls prioritise height. Some claim that their dates/lovers need to be well over 6ft so that they're masculine & make her feel feminine. However, I can't see how that has anything to do with height.

FordRanger

David wrote: »

I'm 5ft 11. A 5ft 2 girl rejected me, telling me that I'm "far too short". I don't understand why most girls prioritise height. Some claim that their dates/lovers need to be well over 6ft so that they're masculine & make her feel feminine. However, I can't see how that has anything to do with height.

@David yh bro I don't understand it either. 5 foot 11 isn't short at all

JJLemon18

I don't know why people make it seem like being tall guarantees you a great relationship. If it makes you feel better then I'm very tall yet I've never had a relationship, so its not a guarantee. I guess it could impact the 'attractiveness' factor of a person, but even attractiveness is subjective and different for different people.

With that said, your height is not something you can change, so don't worry about this at all! I've seen plenty of short men in lovely relationships so really no need to worry

FordRanger

Thanks for the replies everyone

David

I'm the only one of the repliers in this thread who isn't greatly downplaying male height as an attractiveness factor. I'm baffled by the widespread obsession with it, but it's a fact that a high proportion of the female population think it very important. Many have a minimum height requirement. In millions of cases the bar is 6ft or higher. In many cases it's part of the 'rule of sixes', a ridiculous set of minimum requirements/expectations by a significant minority of women which also includes a six-pack abdomen, a six-figure salary, a six-inch penis & having spent six years in tertiary education. As female educational & career achievements have increased a great deal during the late 20th & early 21st centuries, hypergamous female expectations & requirements have also increased substantially.

I had a colleague who was very appealing to girls in several ways & was often successful at getting laid. However, he wasn't the most popular guy in the office, which I can only attribute to him being shorter than average.

Being (very) tall - or having any one favourable attribute - can't guarantee anything. I had a 6ft 3 colleague who wasn't popular despite his height, although he didn't have much else going for him.

Almost everyone can improve to some extent in some way, but without knowing much about you we can't give specific advice.

sputnik

David wrote: »

a high proportion of the female population think it very important. Many have a minimum height requirement. In millions of cases the bar is 6ft or higher. In many cases it's part of the 'rule of sixes', a ridiculous set of minimum requirements/expectations by a significant minority of women which also includes a six-pack abdomen, a six-figure salary, a six-inch penis & having spent six years in tertiary education.

Why would it be worth going out with someone that narrow-minded and unrealistic in their expectations anyway? If I were you I would look for some much more down-to-earth people...

Hi @FordRanger - I can sympathise a lot with worries around getting into a relationship. From my own perspective, for what it's worth, I'd just like to have a partner who I love and get on well with! Their height is probably the last thing I'd be worried about, I don't care if they're taller or shorter than me - I know that everyone has preferences and that, conventionally, there's much more pressure on men to be tall, but there are many different kinds of people out there and you don't know who you might meet until you go and find out Nothing wrong with being short, mate.

David

I've encountered ridiculous demands by many female colleagues, acquaintances, dates etc. through going to pubs, nightclubs, leisure centres etc. as well as at ordinary places I've worked at, including offices, shops & factories. I've never moved in elite circles or even been well-off. A female colleague berated me for being "a worthless drone who's stuck in a low-paid, dead-end job". This hostility & hypocrisy was totally unwarranted, so I replied that the same applies to her because she does the same job as me, for the same hours & the same pay in the same office at the same time. She retorted that she lives in a luxury apartment, dines at expensive restaurants, is taken to the Seychelles & Maldives every year, stays in five-star hotels & is given flowers, chocolates & jewellery without contributing a penny towards them. She mockingly said that I'm a pathetic loser who lives in poverty & misery & has no opportunities to enjoy such things.

There are various factors which substantially affect a person's opportunities, standard of living & the way they're treated.

sputnik

Sounds like you've had a lot of abuse at work, @David - I'm sorry to hear that, that's awful and completely unfair. Please believe me that not all people are like that or have anything like those kinds of standards, even though you've been unfortunate with the people you've met so far. Personally I don't think I know anyone (male or female) who wouldn't be shocked and appalled by the treatment you've received. I won't say any more here cos I don't want to detract from FordRanger's post, but it might be worth making a post of your own to talk about these difficult experiences?

David

I realise that I'm unlucky as well as disadvantaged.

I apologise for going off-topic. I'll start a new thread about my colleagues.

yana

if it makes u feel any better @FordRanger @David as a female i dont care about height and i know that a portion of my friends (also female) don't. then again, it's two sided. ive met plenty of guys who have heard my height and been put off because they're the same height as me or shorter and their fragile masculinity cant let that happen but ive never been put off because of that. as @sputnik said, it's a generalisation we can't make bevause a LOT of people dont care about height. it really just depends on the person