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Uni panic
Former Member
MissPosts: 122 The Mix Convert
Omg how do I start uni soon I’m literally applying as we speak. I’m so anxious. Uni is the one thing I’ve planned my entire life around but now it’s so near I’m questioning everything. Like am I even ready? I don’t even know if I’m ready move out. I don’t have a job. I’m a proper mummy’s girl. My brother has autism and pda and he has separation anxiety from me and my mum. I don’t even know how I’d have enough money get everything I need or even if I can leave home for this. Uni is the one thing I’ve always be set on but now I’m not sure
Any ideas?
Any ideas?
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
Applying to university can be a really stressful but exciting time! What course are you planning to study?
You mention you feel anxious, I just want to reassure you that this is a normal way to feel, I felt like this too when I went to university. You may not feel like your classmates seem anxious but majority of them will be! University is a lot different to school in so many ways and so is a massive change, which makes a lot of people anxious.
I notice you say you are not ready to move out. Are there any universities you can apply to near home so that you can travel into campus? I know everyone makes out you have to live on campus or you won’t have a good experience but do not believe this!!! I done a mixture of living on campus for two years and living off for two years and I actually preferred the two years I didn’t stay there. Plus I had a few friends who never stayed on campus and always travelled in from home and we all still had a great time and made friends.
If that isn’t an option to you, you could always stay on campus during your classes and then travel home for weekends or days off? A lot of people actually tended to do this while I was at university, myself included. I enjoyed going between two different environments to be honest. If every weekend isn’t an option then even every few weeks may work?
You’ll be surprised how fast a semester of university actually goes by. I’m not sure if the universities you are applying to are the same but mine had around 4 weeks off at Christmas and like 4 months in summer so you will still get to be home often even if you can’t afford to travel back. I also had a couple of reading weeks where I had no classes scheduled so could go home to study. My course also was not every day of the week.
These options would allow you to still see your mum and brother a lot. Is there anyway they could maybe come visit you to during university? Also you could do video calls or phone calls with them every day if you wanted?
In terms of money, you would be entitled to getting student discount in a lot of shops. Also it’s a good idea if you are sharing a flat with other people to have a group chat and make a plan up of who should buy what for the flat in terms of items you could share. I also want to say I completely overpacked for uni the first time round I went and realised I did not need as much stuff as I thought I did. Are you getting any student loan at all? I got this while at university and had money come into my account every month.
Plenty of students don’t have a job at the start of university, some decide to just focus on their course and not work yet. My university actually ran some lectures on tips on how to get a job while being at university so something like this may be really helpful for you to attend. There should also be careers advisors in the university who you could go to to get help on this. If you are struggling to get a job because of experience, I recommend volunteering to build up your skills and it also gives you something to talk about in an interview. It doesn’t even have to be in person volunteering, you could do online volunteering. I know a lot of universities offer students to volunteer on a student helpline for example.
I also want to say if you truly feel like this is not the right time for you to start university then that’s okay! Do not be made to feel like you have to go to university straight away, a lot of people on my course didn’t start straight after school. If you decide to defer the start of university, you could even get a job somewhere and earn some money before you go to university so you are in a more secure financial position. I actually done this myself and it benefitted me a lot!
Hope this helped! Let me know if you need anymore help on this.
Ye I’m currently at college
Ye the one I want is in my city but it’s a big city and I’m set on the course so it’s still a hour and 10 mins away
Ye I might do every few weeks especially at start because I don’t want to get too homesick
I’m not sure if they could come down especially with it being a hour away and my brother rarely leaving house but we do plan to face time and stuff I’m just hoping the wifi isn’t too bad there
Ye I plan on getting the disability loan and I’m currently trying to get PIP for my depression anxiety adhd and autism
Ye I do placement as part of my college course so I’m hoping that won’t be too bad in terms of experience
Ye I’ve just planned it out since a kid and I never feel right not doing what I set to do
Sorry this is probably all stupid sorry
I think most people won't feel "ready" for university, because a lot of that experience will be new. For many people, it's their first time living away from home; they receive a lot more responsibility over their budget; and they spend a lot more time with friends/away from family. Not everyone will experience that, and options such as living at home are available too. But as many people aren't ready when they apply, they learn the life skills through the process. Most often, you realise that you're more capable than you think you are, and that's an empowering feeling
The question around family is a good one to consider, and it might be worth talking to your parents about. If there is a university that you could commute to from home, that could be an option as long as you're happy to go back and forth - a minority of students do this to save living costs and stay with family. It can feel hard to leave home when you're used to living at home, but again, it's a good opportunity to learn to live independently for many people. And of course, depending on where the university is, you can always make the journey back home to visit - I'm sure your family will be happy to see you whenever you can go home!
Finance can be a tricky one, partly because some students don't fully understand how student finance works. It's definitely worth checking what student finance support you're entitled to, because that is something you'll need to consider when applying for university. Depending on your household income, you'll be entitled to a certain level of support, and might need to pay from savings/income for the rest. It's worth talking to your parents about this, and weighing up whether this is an option. Getting a degree does still give you a good chance of earning more over your lifetime, so the cost generally does pay off, but it depends on the course.
That being said, I should say that university is great and seen as the "go-to" option, a large minority of people don't go to university and still work good jobs out of school. Schemes such as apprenticeships are worth considering, because you'd be earning money and many schemes will pay for your education, which might ease some concerns around the finance side. It's an option that might be worth exploring, but that's not to dissuade you from going to university.
University sounds like it is what you've wanted to do, so thinking about how you can make it work seems like a sensible approach. Talking to parents and careers advisors/teachers, and looking at some of the resources available online, should provide you with some good information and guidance that you can use to make your decision.
It can be an anxiety-inducing process, but you're not alone in going through this, and still have time to weigh up your options. I'm sure that you'll make the decision that's right for you in time. Either way, we're here to support you through this