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Lost confidence in my job offer

Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 166 Helping Hand
edited October 21 in Work & Volunteering

My brother stirred up trouble again. During dinner, he made comments which made me lose confidence about my job offer. He said he would have done something like the Royal Mail because I would have gotten more. He said he thought I wanted to be a graphic designer and commented about me going into different jobs because I am taking a temporary job. My dad assumed that the staff would take advantage. So, I felt I should not have taken a temporary job and went straight into a design job. My brother claimed that I have wasted my graphic design degree because I will do a temporary job until I find a graphic design job. He asked me if I knew what the job was like and told me I would be outside, implying he did not think I could do it. He asked what I would do in the future if someone said something and asked if I would be upset to criticise me for being upset. He kept saying out loud look, that I was upset with my parents. He said to my mum that she should have said something to me about the job, and she responded I would get upset if she told me that it was a temporary job. My dad assumed that the staff would take advantage of me. Overall, I have lost confidence in the job. The whole situation just got brushed under the carpet like it never happened. I overheard my dad and mum conversing about something else while I was upstairs hurting. I have been feeling I am supposed to have complete control of the effect of words because of past experiences.

Post edited by Laura_tigger82 on


  • SherlockSherlock Posts: 10 Settling in
    Hi Creativeboy,

    Sorry to hear about your conversation with your family, I myself am currently searching for a new job and so I know the kind of anxiety and stress this can bring.

    If you are excited for your job offer and think its a good opportunity I think you should go for it despite your families thoughts. Often the thought of something new like a new job is more daunting then the reality and I'm sure if put in the position you're new co-workers would support you if you was upset.

    Ultimately its your choice and your decision what kind of job you take and you have the freedom, like everyone else, to do what you feel is right for you. If it feels right, go for it, if not, there's no shame in looking for something you would enjoy more.

    Im sure youll do great with whatever you do!
  • Terry8936Terry8936 Posts: 271 The Mix Regular
    Hi @Creativeboy23 Sorry to hear that your family's comments have had such a negative impact on your confidence and well-being. It's important to remember that the opinions and comments of others, even those close to you, should not define your self-worth or your choices.

    Your choices matter. Your job decisions should ultimately be based on your needs, interests, and career goals. It's perfectly valid to take a temporary job while seeking a long-term career opportunity in graphic design. Many people follow varied paths before they find their ideal career. You can also rebuild your confidence in your job and career choices, focus on your strengths and achievements. Remind yourself of your qualifications and skills in graphic design and your potential for success in your career field.

    Besides, if you feel comfortable doing so, consider talking to your family about how their comments have made you feel. They may not be aware of the impact of their words on you, and open communication could lead to better understanding. It's okay to have temporary or transitional jobs while working toward your career aspirations. Success is a journey with ups and downs, and your path may not always be linear. Stay focused on your dreams, and don't let the negativity of others affect your self-worth or aspirations. Your graphic design degree is valuable, and you have the potential to find a fulfilling career in your field.
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  • MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 531 Incredible Poster
    It's understandable that given the comments from your family that you would feel that you've lost confidence in your job offer.

    It's good to remember that this is your life and your decision. Your brother saying that he would've gone for a job with Royal Mail because it would've got more, is what he would've done, but it doesn't mean that you should do the same. Many young people, when starting out, might not be able to get a job in their chosen career path, even after their degree. So it's probably quite common for young people to get temporary jobs while looking for and working on applying for jobs in their chosen field. So even if it's not a job in your field, it doesn't mean you won't benefit from it- you'll be on your way to becoming financially independent and learning how to get along in the world of work- all important things for when you do get your desired job. It doesn't mean that you have wasted your degree at all.

    It's possible for any work place to take advantage of you, and this may be slightly more of a risk with agency or temporary work. But it doesn't mean that it's guaranteed to happen. It can help to join a union (if possible) who may be able to help you, if you feel that you might be at risk of being exploited. But for many people, temporary work can be satisfying to fill that gap while finding permanent work.

    Sometimes family want what's best for us, and in doing so, may overly worry or try to influence our decisions. Other times, they might feel that we are doing the wrong things and like to try to point out what they see as are our weak areas. But what really matters is how you feel about this job (since you'll be the one doing the job and not your family). If you know what you are taking on, and feel happy to do so, then there's nothing wrong with taking a temporary job. There's also nothing wrong with doing the job only to realise that wasn't for you either- this would be a learning curve.

    While some workplaces assume that you know what to do and will give you little instruction, other work places will help to train you up so that you can get on with your job. It's natural for people to make mistakes and have their work corrected. It's also understandable if you were to get upset (especially if you have faced a lot of criticism in your life). That doesn't mean you are incapable of working though...just that you need supportive managers and co-workers, and to realise that it's okay to make mistakes every now and then. You are only human.

    Words can impact us a lot. While it can help to try to control our emotions in the moment, it doesn't mean that you have to control so much that it has no effect. Would it be possible at all to talk to your family about how you have been feeling? Let them know that the discussion has really knocked your confidence in the job and to let them know that you'd appreciate their support more.
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  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 166 Helping Hand

    Hello @Sherlock, @Terry8936 and @Maisy.

    Well said. That is so true. Thank you all for your help.

    @Maisy, Unfortunately, I am not given the emotional space at home to speak about my feelings as I am usually criticised for feeling them.
  • MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 531 Incredible Poster
    That's unfortunate. Sometimes some families just don't seem to get emotions very well. But you are always welcome to talk and explore your emotions here. I hope you know that even if your family does get your emotions, it doesn't mean your emotions are less valid <3
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  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 166 Helping Hand

    Hello @Maisy.

    That is so true.

    Thanks. I will continue to express my feelings here.

    I know. I will remember that they are not less valid.
  • knej23knej23 Posts: 22 Boards Initiate
    Hi @Creativeboy23 Getting a job can be really difficult so I’m proud of you and your achievements! A job is about building experience and transferable skills. So this opportunity is just the beginning and who knows what other opportunities you’ll come across later on. I know our parent’s opinions impact us, but it’s our job to recognise when their opinion may be wrong. Or maybe their harsh words may come from a place of concern and they may not express themselves properly (doesn’t excuse the way it makes you feel but if we try to look at all sides we can see the bigger picture and helps us prevent their words from having as big of an impact). Whatever the situation you know what’s best for you, and if the jobs feels right then that’s all that matters!

    Hope this helps :)
  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 166 Helping Hand

    Hello, @knej23.

    I have gotten over those comments now, but thanks. It does help for when I receive future comments.

    I am excited to be starting my job soon.
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