Overthinking it

Amy22

I have just started work lately and I just feel like I am overthinking things at the moment. Like for example, my work laptop hasn't been set up yet so I got to wait for it, and I have to use my personal laptop. I know this will sound silly but something about bringing my personal laptop in just doesn't seem right even though this is very silly for me to think about generally as most people do bring their laptops in. But why me?. I don't know. Also, I have access to the work office wifi and when I got home the other day I tried to log into the wifi eventhough I shouldent have. Just feel stupid and guilty right now I guess. As the work wifi will only work in work and i got the private not connection message thing on my chromebook when I tried it at home. I can be super impulsive at times hence why maybe I was curious about doing this at home. My curiosity sometimes leads me to feeling guilty and anxious, It's like I feel watched constantly all the time, every time and every move is being judged. I don't know as like everyone I work with especially in my first week of my job has been super super nice and helpful. I can';t help but feel like being a ungrateful arsehole sometimes as I should be grateful for those around me as I shoulden't have this feeling of being silently watched. I guess I am just paranoid. Sorry for wasting anyone's time on here there are better things to think about than this.

Katie12

Firstly, congratulations on starting work but I am sorry to hear that you're overthinking things atm. It does not sound silly at all! its a new challenge for you to overcome having just started a new job and that can be overwhelming itself without the added stress of things not going quite right at first. It is definitely totally normal to overthink when you start something new but i am sure once you get more familiar with everything you will start to feel a bit better. Hope you're okay

Amy22

Thank you @Katie12 I guess \I shoulden't be overthinking it at all like the other night I tried to log into the worm wifi eventhough it wouldent work as i wasnt near the building and in my house I legit thought my company would think I was doing something dodgey or would find me for some reason I worry too much *sigh*

Azziman

Hey @Amy22 - firstly, congratulations on the new role, that's really exciting news!

First of all, you're absolutely fine to share this here, this is exactly what the boards are for - you haven't wasted anyone's time, and thank you for having the bravery to share your experience here. If you'd be okay to share, what do you think makes you feel guilt in this situation?

Starting a new role can feel uncertain, and it's completely fine to feel unsure about whether something is "right" or not. It's something that you learn as get used to the role, but you can't expect yourself to know all the answers on day 1. And your colleagues will understand that too - they were in your shoes once! - so I'm sure that they'll be supportive as you find your feet. We all have doubts and questions when we start a role, you're not alone in how you feel - it's natural. If anything, I think they'll be impressed that you thought to bring in your personal laptop while your work laptop isn't set up - it shows that you're keen to get involved, and that's always seen in a positive light

I think you're right that you're probably overthinking things here. You're new to the role, and it's completely natural to feel anxious. The best thing to do if you're not sure is ask someone that you find supportive (and from the sounds of things, you have supportive colleagues to pick from!). There's no stupid questions when you're new to a role, and it's better to ask and get a definitive answer if you can! The team will be kind to you, and it sounds like it would be helpful for you to practice being kind to yourself as well. Trust that you'll pick things up in time, and that you're doing better than you think

Amy22

Thank you @Azziman

Amy22

I guess I don't know as when i was curious about tying the website in that I use for work to get my wifi at home I just felt they would come after me I have been having weird thoughts tbf right now

Amy22

I said about the looking at the work wifi website at home to my support worker and she said not to worry and that my company won't ask why I tried to logged on at home also my friends in work said the same thing too I guess I was worried about things this week smh. Why did I look and google the work wifi at home the website we use for it?. It said your connection isnt private and I guess that freaked me out. Sorry Im being stupid and weird