Struggling a lot 😭

Rose113

I act like everything is fine, I laugh and I smile. I do silly things with my friends. I act like nothing bothers me all the time but when I come back home that switch turns off and all of a sudden I break down, feel empty and drained not knowing if I'll make it through another day. There's a public me and a only me.

Disappearing has been on my mind a lot lately, really cant deal with this shit anymore but I guess I have to keep going....

Can't someone just be here to hug me tight and comfort me sorry

Laura_tigger82

You have been really brave to acknowledge how you are truly feeling @River, and to share this with us. Is there anything, in particular, you are struggling with dealing with at the moment - is it not feeling able to share how you are really feeling in public? You have done so well to reach out to us and we are here with you to support you through this. We are really glad that, despite having a really tough time, you are keeping going

Rose113

@Laura_tigger82 just like in general I just dont open up in public so I don't ruin anything n stuff

Laura_tigger82

Things sound really heavy for you at the moment @River but you are doing so well talking to us about how you are really feeling. What do you think you might ruin if you opened up in public?

Rose113

@Laura_tigger82 the environment and kill the mood

Laura_tigger82

That sounds really difficult but also really empathetic of you @River - you are clearly caring about others before yourself though. What would you say if this was about someone you cared about - would you let them "kill the mood"?

Rose113

@Laura_tigger82 no I guess not

Azziman

Hey @River, you're seen and heard. It sounds like you're smiling in front of others, but feeling your sadness and pain when you're alone. You mention not wanting to open up to others about how you really feel because of how it might affect others, and that's really thoughtful of you to think of others. But it's also important to think about what you need to, and it sounds like you want someone to support you. And you know, you absolutely deserve to be and feel supported

Is there someone that you could speak to about this? A counsellor at school, or a GP, or even a teacher that you get on well with? These kinds of people are specifically there to listen to you if you want to talk about a topic like this, and they can be really great at offering you the support that you need. Talking to someone can feel good, because you can feel supported and not alone. Of course, you should do what you feel is right for you, so there is no pressure. And we'll be here to support you through this as well

Rose113

@Azziman I can never talk to anyone irl, it's just not possible

Azziman

@River that's alright if talking to someone in-person isn't something you feel you can do at the moment. There are other alternatives such as text support or emails, how would you feel about writing about your feelings instead?

Rose113

@Azziman I use poems to get my feeling out

Former Member

Hi @River, sorry to be late to your post but sharing that you're struggling with us is a positive step, even though you're having a tough time. Like the others have said, you can send a brief email to a teacher you trust at school explaining that you'd appreciate a meeting because you're finding things tough at the moment. Of course, your situation is highly personal to you, and I don't mean this in an invalidating way, but they will have talked to students struggling with their mental health before, so they won't be judging you and will likely be a lot more helpful than you think.

Even if that seems impossible, writing poems sounds like a great coping mechanism - you can use it to process complex emotions in a healthy way and begin to process and move on.

Former Member

Hi @River I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging and isolating experience. It's important to know that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to support you.

Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can be a crucial step in finding the support and comfort you need.

Your public persona doesn't have to be a facade, and it's okay to express your true emotions with those you trust. You don't have to carry your burdens alone, and seeking support can help you navigate these difficult moments.

If you're in crisis or need immediate support, don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis helpline or a mental health professional who can provide you with guidance and comfort during these tough times. Your feelings are valid, and there is hope, even when it doesn't feel that way. We're here to support you too!

Rose113

@Terry8936 I have no one to turn to, I never have

Azziman

@River Poems are a really good way to express how we feel, and can feel really meaningful because of how those emotions are reflected in what we write. I'm glad to hear that you have a outlet for your emotions. How have you been feeling lately? We're here to listen to you and support you

Rose113

@Azziman absolutely shitty I wanna give up