Self care n the new me

Rose113

So I always try to please people and put others first but its taken a big toll on my mental health and and I need to stop neglecting myself just for others to like me. Loads of people arnt gonna like me but I've reached that point where I dont care. People are always gonna hate me and I can't change that and no matter how many times I try to please everyone it isn't going to work or nothing.

I've been lacking self care and hygiene is bad so I'm focusing on me and getting myself to a better place mentally and physically. I've started trying to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and a good amount and it's a long journey for me but im getting there. I'm trying to respect myself and my appearance and shower and not bully myself. I'm also extremely sensitive and because people are gonna hate I am trying to not let it effect me much or anything.

My self care feels more important to me than trying to please others so im focusing on me a lot more and im trying to open up more and its early steps but im trying so hard to treat myself with respect.

lunarcat522

@River Self care is so important and it's great you've recognised the need to put yourself first. There's quite a common saying that you aren't in a position to help others until you've helped yourself, which I think is quite a good saying to go by. Taking care of yourself is very important, others can wait, and they're not your responsibility. The true people that care about you will understand. It's great that you're starting to have regular meals as it does make quite a big difference. It's great that you're trying to show yourself compassion, as it's not always easy to give ourselves the respect and patience we would give others. I would keep at it as it's very difficult and it might not happen right away, but it's a start!

Also by the way I love your profile picture and name, they're really cool!

Rose113

@lunarcat522 thank you sm
Yay I like yours tooo

LydsRose9

@River, this is fantastic to hear!

Treating yourself with kindness and respect is so important! It sounds like the steps you’re taking are really positive ones and you should be very proud of yourself, it is not an easy thing to do.

I also have history of being a chronic people pleaser, but something I’ve found helped me is thinking ‘other peoples opinions of me aren’t my business’. I know this may not help but sometimes I find that having a little mantra to repeat to myself can help take my mind of whatever I am feeling.

These early steps can often be the hardest, so you have done a great thing by taking them, and I hope that you continue taking these steps forward❤️

Azziman

Hey @River, it's great that you're deciding to place some importance on your own wellbeing. Out of curiosity, how do feel after you've started to make these changes?

Looking after yourself and treating yourself with respect is no less than you deserve. It's great to see that you're making proactive steps towards realising that, whether that's physical or mental wellbeing. It can be unfamiliar territory and difficult at times, but you're on the right path. And talking about your feel may not feel natural at first, but it becomes easier as you do it - take it slow and steady, when it feels right for you. It's a marathon, not a sprint!

Rose113

@Azziman i gave up with that lol

Former Member

@River It's really positive to hear that you're recognizing the importance of self-care and focusing on your own well-being. Prioritizing yourself and your mental health is a crucial step toward feeling better and finding a healthier balance in your life.

Remember that it's entirely okay to set boundaries and take care of yourself. While it's natural to want to please others and be liked, it should never come at the expense of your own health and happiness. Your mental and physical well-being should be a top priority.

Taking small steps, like ensuring regular meals and practicing self-compassion, is an excellent way to begin this journey. Be patient with yourself, as it's an ongoing process, and self-care is a practice that can be built over time.

It's important to know that not everyone will like you, and that's perfectly okay. What's most important is that you like and respect yourself. When you do, it often radiates positively to those around you, attracting genuine connections and support. You're on the right path by recognizing the need for self-care, and it's a significant step toward improving your overall well-being.

Katie12

hey @River that sounds really great that you are taking these steps as looking after yourself is so important

Former Member

Hi @River often the self-care acts that seem the most simple like eating enough and showering are the most difficult to actually be consistent with, so well done on making a start! Don't worry if you slip up one day though, we're all human. Try and make it as easy for yourself as possible - maybe you could make yourself a sticker chart for when you complete the tasks and each time you reach x number of stickers (not necessarily days in a row) you give yourself a reward, like playing a video game for as long as you want or buying yourself a nice drink?

Rose113

Thank you @catherines03