Work & MH

Siena

I am feeling so much guilt as I had a return to work the other week. She told me I can only speak to my line manager if having an episode and not any manager as I have upset someone. I asked if that’s for everyone and she said no people can speak to any manager but don’t have a case like me which made me feel like massive burden aswell. So after wards I started crying so much randomly on shop floor so was walking to leave. Different Manager saw me leaving shop floor upset so was like what’s wrong and I was like well basically I just got told I’ve made a manager feel worse. And was full on crying. And I said I know which manager as I’ve only ever really spoken to her. So she said if I get the manager will that make you feel better. And I was like yeah. So she got the manager and i was like I am so sorry for making you feel worse. She was just like I’ve never made her feel worse and stuff like that and I was like it’s okay if I have I would rather someone be like —could you speak to a different manager as got stuff going on—- then having to deal with me and she was like honestly never made me feel worse but yeah I do have my own stuff going on

The manager I think I’ve upset I have on instagram and so I sent her a message being like if you ever need someone to speak to you can always message me and stuff like that and she replied back saying she appreciated it. And then at work she said thank you for that message & I was like no worries & that and then she said I hope you’re still not thinking that you ever made me feel worse and I was like yeah I am lol as I’m pretty sure she was speaking about you. And then she went on to speak about how she has recently relapsed with her mental health and that half of the managers know & that they probably put two and two together and she got told to avoid me to protect her mental health & that they don’t like it if see us talking. Which great I’m not just some ball of sadness rubbing it onto people. I do speak to people about general stuff unless I’m full on crying and wanna go home lol. & she was like she enjoys speaking to me as thinks I’m very kind.

Anyways today I feel very bad because now I think I know why that manager said that because I think the manager self harmed & not in form you think of striaght away when think of self harm and now I am thinking that the managers think she maybe got it off me or something. As I just saw on her Instagram today it was like a mirror picture of her and her arm looks like it had freash/recent injury and I feel awful incase that’s what she meant by them putting two and two together and that maybe she wouldn’t of done that if she never of meet me and I feel so so awful

There is obviously a chance it could of been an accidental injury as it happens but where about the injury is I don’t think it is and I feel awful

Terry8936

Hi @Siena , It sounds like you're going through a complex and emotionally challenging situation at work. It's important to remember that emotions can be complicated and that misunderstandings can happen. Workplace relationships can be complex, and misunderstandings can occur. Try to maintain open communication and boundaries, and remember that you can't control how others interpret or respond to your actions. Seek support from trusted colleagues or friends if you need to talk about your feelings or concerns.

Azziman

Hey @Siena, I hear you. It sounds like you've been going through a difficult situation. I can understand how the events could make you feel guilty, because you feel that you've contributed to what happened to the manager. And it sounds that's a really heavy burden to hold. It's been a few days since you posted, how do you feel about those events having had a few days to process and reflect?

As you mentioned, the manager was not in a good head space at the time, and had relapsed recently. It's entirely possible that this manager would have done this whether they had interacted with you or not. And the manager even said themselves that they enjoy talking to you, so it's also entirely possible that you may have even helped them to feel a bit better that day.

What I mean to say is, please don't blame yourself for what happened. You offered them support and they appreciated it, and it sounds like you made them feel better that day by talking to them too. You've been kind and supportive to them, and (to me, anyways) that doesn't sound like a person who'd contribute to what happened afterwards. I'm sure that the manager appreciates that they can talk to someone about how they feel too.

It's not an easy situation to navigate at all, but from what you said, it sounds like you've done your best to look out for others and care about them. And the manager has appreciated your kindness and support. However you decide to go forward through this, keep doing your best, and know that we're here to listen to you whenever you need