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Negative experiences and low self esteem
Creativeboy23
Posts: 189 Helping Hand
Hello.
I have been in a low mood.
I have struggled to move on from negative experiences and cope with the effects of my autism not being understood. My dad said he did not want to hear about my autism and would treat me as annoying. I shared with my last university mentor that some feedback made me upset. He gave his opinion and, halfway through, noted that employers would not care about my feelings. He would tell me to estimate how long it would take me to complete assignment tasks without considering that my autism makes me learn and do activities differently. So, I felt he placed unreachable expectations on me. He said that I should have a list of mental health tools ready when I am struggling emotionally, which felt like he did not acknowledge that it can be difficult sometimes. He told me it is not good to stress too much, which made me feel judged for feeling stressed. My feelings about my autism not being understood at home have resurged. I have felt that my dad does not understand that I learn things in a different way, which changes how I know cooking. I felt a past support worker supported my dad when she comforted me. I saw this couple today, which reminded me of when my dad would make a hurtful comment about my sensitivity, making me unfit for a relationship.
I have not felt confident in myself today. I was walking in the city centre feeling incautious because I had felt personally attacked when people told me to be careful when I made careless mistakes.
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Comments
You can consider engaging in activities that bring you comfort and joy, whether it's pursuing hobbies, spending time with supportive friends, or practicing relaxation techniques. Remember that your worth is not defined by the understanding or opinions of others. You are unique and valuable just as you are, and there are people and resources available to help you navigate life's challenges and better understand and appreciate yourself. We're here to listen and support too!
Hello @Terry8936.
I have tried to share similar feelings in the community on the National Autistic Society, but it does not seem very active. However, thanks for the suggestions. I appreciate it.
That is true. I will try to remember that.
Thanks for your support.
https://ndsa.uk/content/
https://www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk/
Hello @ebyrne556.
That is correct.
Yes. I heard of the charity. Thanks for the links. I appreciate your help.
Would you like to talk to us more about how you are currently feeling and if there's anything you would find more helpful? We are here with you
It is nice to have a fellow autistic who can turn to.
I keep having memories which have caused me to feel very low. Today, they were about when he would bring up people close to me when making comments and other things I cannot remember. I was having angry thoughts. Yesterday, they were about my last University mentor, who would have perceived critical conversations with me in our sessions, which came across as a judgement of who I am. Another was about my mentor expecting me to think about exercise when I was experiencing emotional difficulties, which made me feel he did not understand my experience. I have struggled to cope with my brother's hurtful comments about my body. I am still determining what would be more helpful. I am struggling to think of solutions. Thanks for asking and for your help.
How are you currently feeling?
It's okay to not know what would be helpful at the moment - often, we need to take some time to figure out what kind of support we'd like, so there's no rush. And we're not going anywhere, so as and when you feel like you want a kind of support, we'll be here for you
Hello @Azziman.
They have made me feel worse lately. They have been distressing and getting me down.
That is true. We often do need some time.
Thanks for your support.
These things can continue to feel really difficult but some of the weight can be lifted by finding more empathetic and understanding people. Whilst we often hold onto the pain, these people can give us hope.
Do you have anyone at the moment who 'just gets' autism? When you are having a particularly difficult and emotional time, it is particularly important to feel like you can be yourself around people and feel safe and supported.
What does coping look like for you? You are doing really well to try and determine what will be more helpful for you, despite how difficult this can be. Solutions often look different between different people and between different moments.
Here for you if you would like to talk through this further and try to navigate what coping and solutions might look like for you at the moment
I'm not surprised your self esteem is so low right now when you've got so many different people (who are meant to support you) invalidating your very real issues.
I think it might be a good idea to take some time for self-care and remind yourself just how amazing you are and that everything you're doing, you're not only doing with a very debilitating disorder but also without a real support network. Although it's really upsetting that these people aren't helping in the ways the should, it's also so impressive that you're continuing despite it.
I just want to say I'm proud of you.
Are you still at uni/ did you get a new mentor?
Hello @Laura_tigger82.
That is true. Well said.
No. I do not think I do. However, I have made some other autistic friends. So I could try sharing my feelings with them when they return.
I am still trying to identify a coping technique for me.
I do not want to discuss it further, but thanks for offering. I appreciate the help.
I could not agree more. Thanks.
No. I am not at university any more. I am a job seeker now.
Hello @Laura_tigger82.
Yes. It is positive.
I was meant to say I would share my feelings with them once I feel them again.
I am finding the job seeking okay. Thanks for asking.
Hello @Jimette.
I am doing alright. I hope you are doing well.