Back to school

Chloe234

While I was out earlier i saw 3 of the teachers from school and I guess talking to them made it feel even more real with the whole going back to school and being year 11 on Wednesday.

I don't mind about the school part really it's the whole stress, pressure and work that comes with it. I'm barely managing now and my mental health has gotten so much more worse that it was before the summer.

I'll be back to having panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I'll be back to hiding in the toilets at break and crying so my friends don't see me like it. I'll be back to "Being the smart one" when I can't keep up. I'll be back to the lonely one or the "emo". Its just so much.

I haven't even finished my coursework for DT that I need to finish before I go back. I've had loads of drama work to do on 'an inspector calls' for ages too. But I just don't have the energy to do it.

I guess in a sense I'm scared too. I'm scared that it's the last year of secondary school and I'm not ready to move on. Some of the teachers are all I've really had since being in school and they've helped me get through

I'm worried about mocks and gcses too. They're getting harsher on the grade boundaries each and every year. I'm barely passing some subjects. I can't fail

I'm also worried about prom. It's in less than a year and im gonna be the one covered in scars and sh. And I hate it but I just can't stop. I need it.

Then don't get me started on everything else outside of school. It's all just so shit and idk how much I can take

lunarcat522

@Chloe234 It must be really difficult having to go back to school when you have so much on your mind. I also had a rough time at school and often hid in the toilets too. Do you think you could talk to someone at school about how you're feeling about going back?

I personally had reduced timetables and did a lot of self-directed learning as I couldn't cope with attending some of my classes. There are also online forms of study for GCSE's but I appreciate this may not be possible due to costs. Have you looked at any study websites or channels on Youtube? I've sometimes found that they've helped me when I'm not understanding things.

I did 'An Inspector Calls' at school so I might be able to help with that but it was for Nat 5 English, so it might be different if you're doing it in drama?

As for leaving school, it's completely natural to be scared about moving on but I understand it's incredibly difficult regardless when you're going through it.

I left school a year before prom so I can't really say what it's like but you could maybe find clothing like dresses with mesh sleeves so that any scars etc are less obvious. Scars aren't something to be ashamed of but I completely get why it's something you'd be self-conscious about. I've searched up 'skin sleeves' and 'tattoo cover up sleeves' and there's a few results but I'm not sure whether this is something you'd be interested in? Not sure if it would hurt wearing and there might be differences in skin tone etc so it may be beneficial to get concealer/foundation matching as close as possible to the tone?

Tights might also be a good shout? For arms even something like a cardigan/shawl and you could just say you get cold really easily. I'm not sure how much others know about your scars/sh but you could get some sort of cover up like the sleeves and if people ask just say you have a skin condition that means you need it.

I've added a few links of dresses with sleeves just to give an idea of what I'm talking about, but just do what's best for you

https://jjshouse.co.uk/ball-gown-princess-v-neck-floor-length-satin-prom-dresses-with-beading-sequins-018220257-g220257?country=GB&currency=GBP

https://zapaka.co.uk/products/off-shoulder-long-sleeves-prom-dress-with-ruffles

Either way it's no one else's business and if people are reacting negatively then they're the wrong people for you. Worst comes to worst, you don't have to go, or you could leave early? You could maybe even suggest having your own prom with close friends earlier/later that day or at some point to ease the pressure a bit?

So sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment, I'm here for you if you need anything

Azziman

Hey @Chloe234, just wanted to chime in here. I hear that it's quite a difficult time for you. Going back to school can be difficult at the best of times, but it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. You're doing ever so well to keep going

I'd agree with @lunarcat522, it's a good idea to speak to someone at school about how you're feeling, and whether there's any support they can offer you for your return. Perhaps a school counsellor, a head of year, or a teacher that you feel you can trust?

For the year ahead, I'd simply say, take each day as it comes. Talk to your teachers about how you're getting on with work, and they might be able to offer some extra help to get you up to speed if you'd find that helpful. Prom is also a long time away, and there's ways to use outfits/makeup to cover up scars if that worries you.

I can understand feeling scared after moving on from school. It can feel uncomfortable to know that a time will come when those teachers that have supported you won't be there for you every day. And that's completely natural, there'll be plenty of people in your class who'll share that feeling. All I'd say is, enjoy that last year with them while you have it. Some teachers that we meet in our lives can make a huge impression on us

Terry8936

Hi @Chloe234 , I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Going back to school and dealing with academic pressures can be incredibly challenging, especially when you're also dealing with mental health concerns. It's important to prioritize your well-being during this time. You can try to talk to someone, seek support, and set boundaries. You don't have to go through this alone!

ek4874dm

Hi @Chloe234
Remember that your grades don’t define you. You are more important than them. I agree with the others too. Talking to someone at school might be the best way to make the year easier. You spent loads of time in school, so your school should make sure it’s a comfortable and supportive environment for you.