Hate myself and inappropraite behaviour

Amy22

I have to retype this cause my laptop being glitchy ish lol and doing stuff. I just feel weird right now. I guess that sometimes I like my rude jokes, humour and I can be inappropriate at times. Like cause of my adhd I guess thats why I can be inappropriate. Right now I said something to my mum but she got worried that this behaviour of mine may be second nature and I might be like it in public. Though I dont cause I mask outside its better to be normal and be safe in public than at home. I think it is also because I grew up around boys and preferred boys, maybe the boys I hang around with in college maybe influenced their jokes to me idk. I just feel more masculine sometimes. I also said to her its probs because im a lad and she said no your a girl not a lad. I know this will sound silly but but when she said that something strange clicked in me and shifted my mood. Like she called me a girl but I dont feel like a girl or a boy sometimes idk . She said she isnt annoyed with me at all but was just helping me. I dont know who I am really and if anyone got any tips on how I can become a better woman then these will be appreciated.

Azziman

Hey @Amy22, I can understand that not knowing who you are can be a confusing time. We all have different senses of humour, and some can be more ruder than others. It's not wrong to have a sense of humour - we laugh at what we find funny! That being said, it's important to know that some people and certain situations won't consider that type of humour appropriate. I don't think humour is a gendered thing, so I wouldn't think it makes you "less of a girl" - it's more likely that those we associate with may influence what we find funny. It's fine to have a rude sense of humour if that's what you find funny, but it's good to be aware that certain situations or groups of people might not share that sense of humour.

Amy22

Thank you @Azziman it's just that of late I found that I have been a bit rude ish and I need to improve mysef thank you so much though I appreciate it a lot

Laura_tigger82

The most important thing is to be your true self @Amy22 - as long as you're not intentionally harming anyone else. It is okay to feel like you might be someone different from who other people expect you to be. Would you like to share more with us about this? We are here with you and listening to you if you would like to share more with us about this

Amy22

Thank you @Laura_tigger82 I guess I always grown up the stereotype that I had to a 'girl' maybe and that my tomboy ways aren't right maybe I don't know eventhough I can be who I want to be and I have got a supportive family. Its that I think maybe im my own worst enemy

Siena

You seem like a very lovely person to me. Obviously don’t know what jokes you say but I find dark humour very funny. You do have to be careful who you say them around though. I wouldn’t say it makes you a bad person at all. Especially because bad people don’t really care of they’re bad

Is your mum someone you can confide in to about not feeling like a boy or a girl?x

Amy22

@Siobhan thank you so much, yeah i have to be careful with my dark humour sometimes especially with those I'm around but I find dark humour is my therapy sometimes. My mum is alright I could talk to her about it maybe, not sure though