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did anyone move out at 16

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
in Home, Law & Money
If you have can you share ur experiences coz i really need advice any advice will be listened to at the moment

Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Discussion Boards Moderator, Community Connector Posts: 2,237 Boards Champion
    Hey @Maria2008, I hear you. Moving out at 16 is a big decision to make, would you mind explaining a little more about why you're looking to move out?

    The Mix has an article on advice on the topic for reference: https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/family-life/help-moving-out-3292.html
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    i basiaclly hate my family they are too controlling like to tell me what to do and if i dont do things their ways they get upset also i dont have no privacy
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 5,437 Part of The Furniture
    You have every right to privacy and not being overly controlled @Maria2008. In fact, it might be worth noting control and coercion are now recognised forms of domestic abuse depending on the context and you deserve to be treated better. Would anything help right now to reduce their control and let you have more privacy at the moment? We are all here with you :)
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    not really @Laura_tigger82 but thnx for the support
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Connector Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    Maria2008 wrote: »
    not really @Laura_tigger82 but thnx for the support

    Im kinda in the same situation but im only 13 so very long till i can move out my mum is also quite controlling tho she would call it caring and im basically the outcast in ny family but u dont have privacy i have too much privacy ! Like im always lonely and isolated. Idk why im telling u this but yh
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @libbystrawberry trust me u dont want to be with no privacy coz if shes controlling now imagine without privacy and my moms the same she says its caring going through my stuff going through my dairy she even checks my underweasr before i go to school she will chech everywhere like even in my ass why the fuck did i just tell you that
  • AzzimanAzziman Discussion Boards Moderator, Community Connector Posts: 2,237 Boards Champion
    Hey @libbystrawberry and @Maria2008 - just wanted to drop in and echo what Laura said - you both have deserve to have some privacy and not be controlled, so I can hear the frustration from what both of you have said. Sending hugs <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Connector Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    Maria2008 wrote: »
    @libbystrawberry trust me u dont want to be with no privacy coz if shes controlling now imagine without privacy and my moms the same she says its caring going through my stuff going through my dairy she even checks my underweasr before i go to school she will chech everywhere like even in my ass why the fuck did i just tell you that

    The first part is sad but the last sentence just made me burst out laughing.Lol sorry u have to go through that <3 bruh my mum literally ripped my diary and then took a whole 10 months of it lol again im sorry u have to go through that
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @libbystrawberry hey the controls got worse im not muslim anymore which made them even more mad i wore a skirt a jumped out the window told my social worker i wasnt going home slept on the streets for about 3 night before i got caught by police and after they still took me home and if im not lying i want to kill myself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Connector Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    oh man im sorry <3 tbh my mums more controlling now its so shit, i wish my mum didnt give a shit abt me and just let me do whatever i wanted
  • JustVJustV Inactive Posts: 5,640 Part of The Furniture
    edited January 2024
    Maria2008 wrote: »
    @libbystrawberry hey the controls got worse im not muslim anymore which made them even more mad i wore a skirt a jumped out the window told my social worker i wasnt going home slept on the streets for about 3 night before i got caught by police and after they still took me home and if im not lying i want to kill myself
    That sounds harrowing @Maria2008 :( what an ordeal. Being at home when it's an oppressive or unsafe space for you can be so trapping, especially if you don't have anywhere else.

    Do you have a good relationship with your social worker? Are you still in touch with them?

    If you do want (or need) to move out, it might be worth contacting Shelter. They're a charity that supports people with homelessness and should be able to give you the info you need. The Mix also has an article on moving out which might be worth reading.

    Additionally, is there a friend or family member you could live with for a short time? I know by the sounds of it your parents would be opposed to that, but if there is a safe adult or a friend you trust to stay with, it might be worth exploring that as an interim arrangement.

    My sister moved to our neighbours' house at 16 because she didn't get on with my mum at all, and that was (as far as I know!) legally fine.

    You also mentioned wanting to kill yourself (which is understandable under the circumstances :( ), and while I didn't get a sense from your post that you're actively planning to do that, there are some crisis services you can contact if you reach breaking point. I've popped the details below:
    Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
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    Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
    Childline | call 0800 11 11
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @JustV thanks so much for your advice
    to answer your questions no i dont like my social worker but i do act like i get along with her and there is no family that i can trust and friends they know the situation they know how dangerous my parents can be soo they dont want to get involved well not them but their parents thank you
  • LozLoz Community Connector Posts: 134 The Mix Convert
    I went into care when I was 16 due to my family, do you think that could be an option for you if you wanted? I know also some supported accommodation allow people to move there from 16.
    "Broken people save broken people"
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 97 Budding Regular
    Maria2008 wrote: »
    If you have can you share ur experiences coz i really need advice any advice will be listened to at the moment

    Im planning on doing that too, but I dont know if I can get a house at 16 (in england btw)
    My mum wants to move countries but i want to continue retaking my gcses and i have my exams in 3 months but my mum doesn't care and i feel worried about what will happen in the near future, I wish i had control over my life, especially since I'm 16, Ive been told im old enough to give up and so much other things its only fair that id also be old enough to get a mortgage and a part time job that actually pays enough(looking for one rn)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @PetiteQuark hi i also am looking for a part time job that pays enough but its so hard to find a good one have you tried talking to your teachers about the situation love u all always
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