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Tonsillectomy

SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
Hi I’m having private tonsillectomy Friday and I am getting very scared about the pain and just everything in general because no one in life knows I’m getting it done and they say need 2 weeks recovery but I am going to try to go to work as work don’t know either. I’m just wondering if anyone’s had it and how painful was it and will it be easy to hid from my family. I am thinking of pretending having emergency tonsillectomy as i don’t know if it’s something I can hide. Im 24 and apparently it’s hurts more the older you are

If anyone has any lies I can come up with to my family about where im going on Friday and why im going so early and why I’ll be taking forever please helppp

(Please don’t ask me why im paying for tonsillectomy and why im not telling anyone about it)
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

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  • UnknownUnknown
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2023
    I don’t know I’m super stressed I can’t sleep. I’ve got to be there by 7am and its 2 hours away, so I’d have to leave atleast 5am. the best I can come up with is saying I’ve got a therapy with the burns team to check how they’re doing and making sure they’re not too tight and then I can say Fridays are my only days off and that’s the only time they have left and I’d feel too bad to cancel, but then i don’t know how I’d explain why I was there for so long as they could ring up. Unless I just say oh yeah suddenly my tonsils swelled up so I’m having tonsillectomy.
    I don’t know how I’m even getting there. It’s £160 in taxi but the trains is confusing
    I’m also worried there was like small print I haven’t read and like I get hit with a big bill that I can’t pay for
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 1,294 Wise Owl
    i really have nothing useful to say other than good luck, I hope it all goes well and I hope it doesn't hurt too bad. lmk how you're doing after! <3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Guysss I’m scared. I got a voice mail saying the surgeron needs to speak to me urgently. I’m going to be devastated if they cancel it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2023
    IM SO PISSED OFF
    Most likely won’t be happening Friday

    So basically they found out my history of self harm and the hospital won’t see me unless I’ve seen a psychiatrist as surgery can be a form of self harm. I was just like why would I pay thousands of pounds when I can do it for free and he just laughed and said true.

    So tomorrow I need to ring my gp and try to get them to confirm before Thursday I’m in a fit state for the surgery otherwise it won’t be happening without a doctors say so about my mental health and I’d just get my hospital fee back. I’m soooooo pisseddd of.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I’m so sad. If I don’t get this surgery on Friday I am going to go mad
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Im so pissed off I wanna die. Just need to tell myself I can’t do anything about it atm but hopefully can tomorrow. Ugh fml I just don’t want tonsils lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    Hey @Siobhan, I hear you. It sounds like this is a spanner thrown in the works, and it's completely natural to feel frustrated at the situation. Your feelings are valid - it's never nice to have our plans disrupted at the best of times, and here it sounds like it's already quite a stressful situation for you.

    Do your best where you can, because that's what you have control over. Speak to your GP as soon as you can to explain the situation to them, and I hope that they'll be able to sort this all out for you in time for Friday. I wish you the best of luck with the process, I hope that the procedure goes ahead and that it isn't too painful <3 Please let us know how you get on, and reach out for support if you need it as always.
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2023
    I’m ringing my gp at 8am tomorrow for appointment to tell them I need this surgery

    I’m so fucking pissed off. Maybe if I said I self harmed before wouldn’t of been a problem but tbh i don’t know why self harm has anything to do with wanting tonsils out

    & thank you
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I want to cry. If this doesn’t work out would changing my gp and trying a different hospital work. God I just can’t deal with it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Not 100% sure but I think I might still be having the surgery on Friday
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Nm it’s not happening 😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    Oh no what happened at the meeting?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2023
    Because I was in hospital recently for a self harm behaviour they won’t do it as think I’m getting tonsiliecomy because of my binge eating and wanting sore throat so I can avoid food.

    He said about giving me my consultation money back but I would feel kinda bad but I should be getting my hospital fee back. Anyways I’m just going to try a different hospital and give fake gp. But I need my hospital fee back to try another place as yeah money. I’m going to email a few places now

    I was at work when rang me and I full on just started crying so I had to have 30 mins break lol

    I think my gp told them I’m stable to decide but they wanted more of a mental health professional
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Heyyy it's okay, if can't happen now they might be able to do it as a later date if you can demonstrate to them that you're stable enough xxx

    Please stay safe 🙏
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. I do just feel like what’s the point I’m going to just go back to self harming.


    I’m going to try one more place. I can probably get the consultation for Friday as yeah travelling and I can’t risk calling in sick again and my only day off otherwise probably could get it sooner but yeah gunna try few places and see who can fit me in on Friday

    I did ask the surgeon about how private works and if I try one more hospital and lie will that work and he said it might or it might not but it’s not good to deceive. I think he means yeah it will work
    I really regret doing that thing to stop my binging. This isn’t anything to do with binging. Then he mentioned he has a daughter with anorexia and that he knows why people might go for anything to eat less.

    Anyways I’m proper embarrassed for just crying again at work. Fml they must be so fed up of my shit now. But I did stay until 1:30 with my blood shot red eyes, instead of 1 as I used 30 mins crying so I hope they’re not that annoyed
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2023
    Actually I was just gunna lie about what gp I’m with but I think I’m just going to email a few places pretending I’m not under any gp and if they help people not under gp but that would also meaning lying that I’m not taking any medication
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    edited August 2023
    Lying about not being on any medication is dangerous… especially with having a general anaesthetic, so I defo wouldn’t recommend lying about that.

    But I’m sorry it’s not happening :( the consultant seemed really sympathetic though which I guess is a little bit of a positive ?
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. Yeah he does seem nice tbf but their receptionist is soo rude.

    Anyways this is the email I’ve sent to about 3 or4 hospitals. Hopefully I’ll hear back from some tomorrow

    “ Hi

    I am looking into having tonsillectomy, because I have big tonsils with lots of cysts where food gets stuck creating tonsil stones, that hurt and can make my tonsils very bad as well as cause bad breath which in turn makes me self conscious. My only concern is that I’m not registered with a GP but my health is good. Apart from I have a naturally low blood pressure.
    If could let me know if I need medical history or a NHS gp to get treatment/possible surgery from you before going any further.
    Thank you”
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    But what if I would need to wear what they give me specifically for the surgery but it’s short sleeves. They’d see all my scars and be like wtf. Then wouldn’t do it. But I mean it’s private you’d think they’d let you wear your own night dress as long as not got metal or whatnot in right?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    No one has emailed me back with anything useful. Just emailing back about the price and asking for my details. Details that include my gp information. Like ah ffs read my question
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I’ve found someone who said they would do a tonsillectomy without needing to be under a gp.

    But I’m just thinking even if I can wear what I want, they put the general anestic on the inside of your arm and would see my scars? So maybe I just be like yeah I moved when I was a kid so I don’t have a gp anymore but when I was a teenager I did self harm a bit as a phase? Although some do look new so i don’t know
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Manager Posts: 319 The Mix Regular
    Hey @Siobhan,

    You mentioned in your last post that you've found a private hospital who will do the tonsillectomy for you without you being registered with a GP. How're you feeling about that now that you've had a few days to think it through? Have you given any more thought to whether you might be able to share some more of your history or medication with them?

    You're being really brave by thinking this all through aloud with us, Shaunie. We're always here to chat things through <3

    Take care,
    Harry
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    The one who said will do it without gp is £1,000 more than the other so I’m not overly keen and apparently would need gp as after care. So I don’t think that was truthful.


    What I’m gunna do is ring my gp Monday and tell them how much this is affecting me and how I haven’t self harmed for a bit and that this is what I’ve been wanting for ages so please do not say anything if get the email. And depending on how that call goes I will tell them my real gp. Otherwise I’m just using a fake gp and pretend I’m pretty healthy and not on meds just apart from the self harming as would see my scars doing surgery
    I did make a consultation for Wednesday but I’ve cancelled it as I’m scared as is under same company as one I’ve tried before and don’t wanna risk them finding out so just trying new one

    I haven’t got my hospital refund yet which is £2,000 so I am a bit stressed
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    I wanted to check in and see how you're feeling today @Siobhan?

    It sounds like a really tough process you're going through managing these consultations and seeing what support some of the other hospitals could offer to help you with this. You mentioned you wanted to ring your GP on Monday to share how much this is affecting you. That sounds like a really brave step and you're doing really well sharing with us how much this is impacting you too. How did that conversation go with your GP? We hope you were able to get some support from them <3

    We also hope you're able to get your refund back from the hospital. Keep us updated with how everything is going. Remember we're all here for you. Keep going <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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