TW: SA Flashbacks

starfish_17

Hi everyone!

I recently stopped counselling for a SA (it was cut short early as my counsellor left). Before counselling, I had been doing okay because I had managed to bury/try to forget about it but now everything has been brought back up and I can't cope very well. I keep getting flashbacks and can't stop thinking about everything that happened to me and what I could have done to prevent it from happening to me or make the assault not as bad.
I am on a waiting list for specialist trauma counselling but the wait list is 18 months and I really don't think I can carry on feeling like this for that long and feel so lost at what I should do. I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to or talk to about things and feel so alone.

VicK_torious

Hey @starfish_17
I'm really sorry to hear that your flashbacks have resurfaced. Honestly, the health system is so poorly maintained and you have every right to feel angry, but be assured that we'll try to help as much as possible in order for you to feel less alone and more understood. I am here any time you feel like talking to someone

In terms of advice on what can you do that can help you feel better until you receive formal healthcare from your counselor, I know there is the possibility to find online counselors for as long as you'd like. They provide the same care, but from the confort of your home. I don't know if you feel comfortable with this idea, how would it make you feel to have an online counselor?

LydsRose9

Hi @starfish_17

I’m sorry to hear about how you’re feeling and how bad the flashbacks are. It must be so difficult for you. In terms of keeping going over what you could have done to prevent it, of course I don’t know the details but I know for certain that none of what happened to you was your fault, and it’s hard to remember that sometimes but please keep trying to tell yourself that when things are getting difficult.

As @vicky_zin said, we are all here for you and please put a message on here whenever you need to, because we all want to help as much as we can. If there is no access to any other type of counselling (such as online), little things like putting on a TV show that brings you comfort or listening to music that makes you feel calm or happy may help distract you and quiet some of the noise in your head.

Please know that we are all here for you🩷

starfish_17

Hi @vicky_zin Thanks for your reply. I just feel so let down and that people know about it but don't really care and have left me to deal with it myself. 18 months feels like so so long to wait!
I have been trying for a while to find any form of counselling anywhere but nowhere really seems to be working for me, I cannot find anything. I will really struggle to pay for it and that's the main issue I am having in trying to find somewhere to help me.

Thanks @LydsRose9
People always tell me it wasn't my fault and I think I know deep down that it wasn't and that I did everything I could to keep myself safe but when I look back, I can think of so many things which I should have done differently which may have stopped it or made it not as bad. I should have ran away from him when I had the chance and I could have said no more to him or pushed him off me, but I didn't do any of that and I hate myself for it.
I have been trying to read my book to distract myself but I can't focus on it. Maybe I will try your ideas to see if they help.

Thank you both for caring

marcellus_beauregard

I hope you are doing okay as of late. I do concur with @vicky_zin on maybe finding an online counsellor in the meanwhile but I do acknowledge that finding good and professional online counsellors may prove to be tricky.

Yes, you should attempt to do what @LydsRose9 suggested. Doing other things can help distract yourself and may help you during the course of your waiting.

Other alternatives to counselling/therapy I have found are:
1. Peer Support Groups: There are many of these groups and some groups include those who have gone through the same things as you. You could also use TheMix as a means of finding others who are struggling with the same things as yourself. You could always talk to me and my dms are always open and I would be happy to talk to you about anything and everything (no matter how boring or small it is).
2. Yoga
3. Meditation
4. Herbal Remedies
5. Jounaling
6. Art (Playing or listening to Music, Create Music, Creative Writing, Drawing/Painting/Sketching, Dance (Play Just Dance or Dance Central), Sing,and etc).
7. Exercise
8. Conduct research into a topic that you are interested in
9. Go to your local library
10. Play some video games
11. Go to a cat (or any other animal) cafe.
12. Do some volunteering
13. Learn something new

I cannot think of anything else at the moment but if something comes to mind I will let you know. I hope you are doing well and again, I and others in TheMix community are willing to talk to you and help you if you ever need it.

starfish_17

Thanks so much @marcellus_beauregard

I’ll try and find an online counsellor somewhere if I can. Also, thank you for the list of suggestions of things to try!

Laura_tigger82

Would you like some help identifying some resources which might be able to provide online counselling @starfish_17 or is this something you feel comfortable doing?

starfish_17

@Laura_tigger82 if someone would be able to give me some help I would really appreciate it.

Aife

Sending you lots of strength @starfish_17. I'm so sorry to hear how long the waiting list you're on is for counselling. It's really awful you've been left without any support since your last counsellor left

I've found a couple of options for you that you may wish to look into:

* The Mix offers video, webchat and phone counselling. Our webchat/phone counselling service operates on a self-referral basis. It is suitable for anyone under 25 who is looking for short-term help with mental health and emotional wellbeing. If you've used our counselling before, you can sign up again if it's been 6 months between your last set of sessions.

*Support Circle for Survivors of Sexual Violence - You also may be interested in coming along to our new Thursday Support Circle sessions for survivors of sexual violence. These happen every Thursday at 8-9.30pm and you can come along to chat with up to five other young people in a structured support space. You can sign up using our registration form.

* There’s an organisation called Rape Crisis which offers emotional support and information for women and girls over the age of 16 years, who are survivors of rape or childhood sexual abuse. They also have self help resources available on their website www.rapecrisis.org.uk and can help you find your local Rape Crisis Centre. The national helpline is open every day, from 12pm-2.30pm and 7pm-9.30pm. You can call them on 0808 802 9999 or go to their website to access their webchat service with details on their opening times

* One option is an organisation called Kooth, which provides emotional support and online counselling to young people. Their webchat service is open Monday-Friday 12pm-10pm and Saturday and Sunday 6pm-10pm. You can find out more here: https://kooth.com/

* There is an organisation called Youth Access which has a database of free youth advice and counselling throughout England and Wales.

* Connect Counselling is a service offering help, support and counselling. They can offer a regular, weekly 50 minute sessions with an appropriate counsellor for as many times as needed. There is no fixed charge for their counselling, but they do ask for a voluntary monetary donation for each session, if possible, but they will never turn anyone away through lack of funds. If you want to book in a session, phone 01276 24210 between Monday and Friday from 9:30am.

How do these options sound? If you have any questions or want to explore some more options, let me know and I'll be here to help. You're also always welcome here on the community so please do keep reaching out whenever you need to. We're all here for you