losing someone

Former Member

they didnt die but they moved countrys and im struggling a lot, i miss them and i feel incomplete without them and i dont know who to talk to abt it.

Unknown

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sinead276

It’s completely normal to feel this way when someone you care about moves to another country If anything, it shows just how much you care and how meaningful their presence is to you and your life.

If you need someone to talk to more you can always talk to us on here if you wish as there’s always gonna be someone to listen no matter how big or small.

Sending lots of hugs and hoping it gets easier for you with time
Sinead

Maisy

It can be really difficult when someone moves away. The pain can feel very much like grief, even though the person is still alive.

It can help to talk to someone about how much you miss the person. Perhaps you could try reaching out to a family member or a friend. You are also always welcome to post in the forums for support, as well as accessing support from our team: https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team

Is it possible to keep in touch with the person? If you don't have their contact details, maybe someone else that you know might? Or perhaps you can look them up on social media?

Something that helped me when I struggled with missing someone who had moved away was to revisit my favourite memories of them and to acknowledge that even though we couldn't be in touch at the time, it didn't stop me from living my life. It can be help to focus on other interests and things to keep us busy so that if and when we get back in touch with the person we'll have lots to tell them! Writing letters (but not sending them) to them and telling them about how you feel and what you have been up to may also help a little.

This person has clearly had a big impact on your life and it's natural that you would feel very upset now that they have moved away. Be gentle on yourself and in time, you will realise that you will always fondly remember the person in your heart/mind which can be a comfort even if they aren't there with you physically.

Take care

Former Member

@Maisy thank u, u said revisit memories but i feel like for me it wouldnt help probs make it worse, it would be too bittersweet, thing is theyre not my friend its my form tutor so idk but i think it puts it into a weird kinda situation, if u get what i mean?

but thx

Laura_tigger82

I get what you mean @libbystrawberry but it is still ok to miss your form tutor. It can be difficult when people who make a positive difference move away and we don't get to see them anymore

Do you know what might help you at the moment - for example, is there anyone else you can talk to about this?

Former Member

Nah laura

Azziman

Hey @libbystrawberry - it's completely natural to miss someone that you care about. It sounds like they meant a lot to you, and it hurts when we realise that we won't be able to see or hear from them as much any more.

Time is a healer, and it might take a while to come to terms with what's happened. But also, it's a nice chance to reflect on the good times and conversations you had together, and we appreciate that we had the opportunity to meet this person for some time

You might find it helpful to speak to someone about how you feel (whether that's a friend, using a helpline such as Samaritans or The Mix, or talking to us here on the board!). Alternatively, writing out how you feel in a journal is a good way to express and process our emotions, if that is something that you would find helpful?

Former Member

@Azziman thx i do have a diary and i think ur right time will heal

Former Member

I'm a little late to this but I absolutely agree with what other people have said.
It's totally normal and healthy to grieve over a lost relationship or relationship potential. In the case of missing a form teacher it's very understandable to be upset as losing any sort of guidance figure is difficult.
I think it's correct that these things come with time but I also believe that letting yourself feel these emotions and acknowledging that it does hurt can help with the healing process. If you ever need someone to talk to about it and work through any thoughts and feelings with there are so many of us here who'd be happy to lend an ear. If you are not comfortable talking to someone about it you can always find another way to help yourself process things (for example, as a teenager I wrote a lot of poems and I now write songs).

Former Member

@leeholly i write songs too!! more for when im bored it doesnt rlly help with my feelings tho

Maisy

libbystrawberry wrote: »

@Maisy thank u, u said revisit memories but i feel like for me it wouldnt help probs make it worse, it would be too bittersweet, thing is theyre not my friend its my form tutor so idk but i think it puts it into a weird kinda situation, if u get what i mean?

but thx

That's okay. It's still very early days for you so it makes sense that you wouldn't want to be revisiting memories right now as it would feel bittersweet to you. What you are feeling isn't weird at all. Though I understand it is a difficult situation, more so than if it were a friend or family member who moved away because at least you could stay in touch. You might not be able to keep in touch with the teacher now (there are often rules in place for teachers regarding social media and not being friends with students) but maybe when you've left school (e.g. when you are at least 18 and not in compulsory education anymore), you could see if there is a way to reach out to them.

It will take time to feel better, but you will get there. And in the meantime, we are all here for you

ebyrne556

hey @libbystrawberry just a check in from me can hear how hard things have been for u recently sending u lots of hugs

Former Member

Thank you @maisy