Impulsiveness

Amy22

I just feel the need lately to control myself I feel like I lost self control lately. Ever since I finished college and I don't know why but my ADHD has just increased and I feel way more hyper than normal. Also, I feel like I got more testorone in my body than normal really. I tend to be very impulsive and don't always think before I do something such as the consequences or how it could affect me. Like today I went back on that website Character Ai to create another account cause I was bored and I forget my one password and I sent an email to re-do the password. But my gmail came up saying this website is unsafe eventhough the email from the legit website itself. I keep feeling like I make the same mistakes over and over. I think it's because I have this high standard of myself that I have to have otherwise I'm just this stupid silly person inside. Why do I feel so hyper and masculine at times. Sometimes I question who I am. Sorry for the long ish rant I needed to mention this ish.

Former Member

This is interesting... You don't mind elucidating on what you mean by you feeling like you got more testorone in your body and you feeling so hyper and masculine? Secondly, do you have any ideas where this lack of self-control is coming from? I would like to understand thoroughly but if you do not want to answer any of these questions, that's alright too..

Amy22

marcellus_beauregard wrote: »

This is interesting... You don't mind elucidating on what you mean by you feeling like you got more testorone in your body and you feeling so hyper and masculine? Secondly, do you have any ideas where this lack of self-control is coming from? I would like to understand thoroughly but if you do not want to answer any of these questions, that's alright too..

Thank you so much, I know this sounds very weird like of me lol but as a female assigned at birth I guess I feel more testorone than I normally should in a way. I guess I feel like I got way more energy than normal and I feel *horny* to quote sometimes and I do feel awkward about feeling this way. I think my self control is to do with my impulsiveness as I go head first into thing and I am ten to the dozen with stuff rather than slowing down and thinking first in a way. I just feel like I'm more angsty even though I am out of the teenage phase as I am an adult now so I should be thinking more like an adult but I feel young in myself not to mention more hyper ish.

Azziman

Hey @Amy22, it sounds like you're feeling that you're less in control at the moment, and that you've noticed this has been particularly noticeable since after school, and that you're concerned about how energetic and impulsive you've been feeling lately. Can you think of anything that might have happened since leaving school that could be contributing to this? Have you noticed this issue presents in particular situations or with particular people, or does it seem to be present all the time?

Even though we have ideas about what it means to be an "adult", there's no fixed time that feeling like this might go away - there are others who are much older who probably feel like this too. That being said, it sounds like this is concerning to you, and I wonder if you've considered speaking to your GP about how you feel?

Amy22

Thank you so much @Azziman I have thought about mentioning it in my next gp appointment for my medication review. I think ever since I finished school and college this year I felt the loss of routine. Yet I need routine however too much routine can make me become bored. I tend to struggle with focus lately. I used to be on adhd medication when I was younger to treat my adhd and autism but the meds caused me to stop eating. I wish I could go back on them but I'm worried that the same outcome I had with them in the past will happen again. My anxiety meds seem to help a bit sometimes. I just feel hyper and also lazy too at times. When I don't use this energy up in me it becomes anxiety or it makes me tired sometimes. Idk

Azziman

That makes sense @Amy22 - school is a very structured environment, so leaving that can feel like a wholesale change and that can feel unsettling. I think a lot of people can relate to the sentiment of wanting a balance between freedom and structure - it allows us to have some sense of knowing where and when to be, while also allowing for some personal freedom and space. What would the ideal balance look like for you?

I can understand the medication is a tricky one. On the one hand, struggling with focus and feeling hyper or lazy can feel frustrating; on the other hand, eating is very important too. This is also something I'd have a good conversation with your GP about - there are multiple types of medication that all work in different ways, so it might be worth exploring to see if there is something else you could try that doesn't impact your eating, but helps to regulate your energy and restore your focus?

Amy22

@Azziman I feel like college had like a structure like I wake up, go to college, see my friends and stuff. But now it's over I can have a rest which is lovely but I guess a part of me misses that old structure in a way. I think my ideal balance at the moment for me is to do a little bit of work then have a rest in a way.

I may actually ask my GP about it possibly the next time I get an appointment even though it has been tricky trying to get an appointment as aparently they aren't available even though my doctor mentioned about having an appointment soon as I have an annual six month review.

ebyrne556

Heya @Amy22 Just checking in how your doing? I know how sometimes the routine can be missed but hope summer is going ok anyway. Ugh yeh the Gp are so hold to get hold of but hopefully you are able to get a appoitnment soon and if not then at your 6 month review they can mabye find something that helps a bit more sending hugs

Amy22

@ebyrne556 yeah im doing not too bad thanks I managed to get an appointment near the end of August I think so at least I can see them now, they are always so hard to get hold off lol. But I need it cause I applied for universal credit too so I have to get a fit note from them as soon as possible. They did mention though that the fit note is not necessary really but it is handy. thanks for checking in on me I really appreciate it

ebyrne556

glad ur doing ok Amy and hope the appointment goes well.

Amy22

@ebyrne556 I'm still getting there slowly but I am a lot better now