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Drinking is the only helpful coping strategy

IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
in Drink & Drugs
Really want to start drinking more as I've found it's the only thing that helps distract me from all my problems. My life is ruined
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    HarryTHarryT Community Manager Posts: 320 The Mix Regular
    Hey @IainJammyboy,

    I can hear how difficult things are feeling for you at the moment. You've done a really brave thing by reaching out to seek support - we know how much strength and courage it can take <3

    You've mentioned that your really feeling an urge to start drinking more, but it sounds as though you haven't started increasing your alcohol consumption as of yet. Is that correct? Is there something that is making you think twice about increasing the amount of alcohol you drink?

    What is it that you find helpful about drinking as a coping mechanisms? We're here to help you chat this through- no judgement from us.

    Take care,
    Harry
    Hello amazing human (yes, that's YOU). I wish that you could see the amazing person who I see within you  ✨
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @HarryT it's just money that's the problem - don't have enough for vodka so I know it's stupid, but I just went for this cider with 10% alcohol in it - i can just only imagine what my parents are going to do to me once they find out, but at least drinking helps me forget about all that. It's only simply been a bottle a day - it just makes everything so much easier to forget about and subsequently much much easier to cope with. Helps me distract myself from my hallucinations as well, it just works so well. It's the closest thing I've felt to being 'better'
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    I honestly feel like it's my parents that make everything in my life horrific - the reason I drink to escape them, but there's not much I can do at this point to get away from them. I honestly absolutely hate them
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    They scream at me and tell me it's my fault, but lately I've been screaming at them back so they get a taste of their own medicine. Not surprising that they're getting overwhelmed and upset - I tell them every single day that bring controlling and trying to mask it over with "I'm sorry" is just horrible to do, but I can't get it through their thick skulls
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    Honest to god I really don't know if I'm the problem or if their doing something wrong - I mean just this morning I was absolutely begging my mum to let me go home when the rest of the family were going on a ferry on holiday - she said no and I just kept saying I couldn't cope but now about 5 minutes ago she's making it all about herself and how it was "the most stressful ferry ride because of you" like I'm sorry, but I got a fucking life changing diagnosis that's just ruined my future and they expect me to just "be a man" and deal with it. Having another drink because I just can't cope with this
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    Sorry for all these posts too, I'm taking up too much of everyone's time
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    Blc_2004Blc_2004 Deactivated Posts: 305 The Mix Regular
    You’re definitely not taking up anyone’s time, your feelings and emotions are valid!
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    Now my mum's begging me not to push her away and in tears about the exact same thing I've been in tears about for days - but my dad just shouts at me and told me no one else would want to look after me so I have to stay with him. I really really want to attempt suicide but I have no way of doing it at the moment
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    yanayana Community Champion Posts: 1,277 Wise Owl
    I'm not just saying this to try and make you feel better but I'd genuinely be so upset if you did commit suicide. please don't @IainJammyboy

    you're doing so well, it isn't for nothing. just keep fighting <3
    my brain is not braining the way brains are meant to brain
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @Xee thank you so so much - I will try my absolute hardest to fight on. I just need to leave my parents, they are making my life an absolute fucking misery, and I am going to go home tomorrow and I will do anything I can to convince my parents
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @HarryT @JJLemon18 @Xee @Blc_2004 sorry for being a pain all the time, the reason I want to attempt suicide and go to hospital is because that's the only place where I feel listened to or even cared for. I know what I need and want, but my stupid parents don't listen - sorry for being a pain here
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    I feel like I'm becoming really dependant on drinking, I can't relax without a drink anymore
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    Now my parents are threatening to make me pay for the whole Holiday if I leave on my own - I mean it's my right but they don't fucking listen
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,133 Part of The Furniture
    I can really hear how you are feeling alone at the moment @IainJammyboy and are doing your best to find ways to cope with a really challenging time. You are doing so well talking to us and keeping us updated on how things are going for you. We are here with you and listening to you. Would you like to talk to us more about what is happening with your parents/ if you have anyone you feel comfortable talking to about things going on at home for you at the moment? :)
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    yanayana Community Champion Posts: 1,277 Wise Owl
    IainJammyboy wrote: »
    @HarryT @JJLemon18 @Xee @Blc_2004 sorry for being a pain all the time, the reason I want to attempt suicide and go to hospital is because that's the only place where I feel listened to or even cared for. I know what I need and want, but my stupid parents don't listen - sorry for being a pain here

    YOU'RE NOT A PAIN AT ALL!! I'm not just saying that fo make you feel better, it's really true. you really don't need to apologise at all. this is what the mix is for!! I understand that being in hospital makes you feel like that. sometimes I think about my time in hospital way too fondly. the nurses were so lovely to me, it was like they genuinely cared and not just bcs it was their job. do you have any friends you can turn to and spend a lot of time with instead of being around your parents? if you can't move out the next best thing is spending as little time at home as possible right?
    my brain is not braining the way brains are meant to brain
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    yanayana Community Champion Posts: 1,277 Wise Owl
    IainJammyboy wrote: »
    @Xee thank you so so much - I will try my absolute hardest to fight on. I just need to leave my parents, they are making my life an absolute fucking misery, and I am going to go home tomorrow and I will do anything I can to convince my parents

    yayyy just keep trying your best :blush:

    I think I've asked u this before but idk I can't even remember but do you know why they're so against you moving out?
    my brain is not braining the way brains are meant to brain
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @Xee now my mum's going on about how I'm ruining the holiday for her and how I'm upsetting her and how Im ruining her memories or her holidays - she's making me feel so so so guilty but she doesn't understand it's not all about her
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    yanayana Community Champion Posts: 1,277 Wise Owl
    @IainJammyboy why is she so mean to youuu? does she like not believe in mental health or does she just not believe you're struggling? or is she just straight up selfish? you deserve so much better :(<3
    my brain is not braining the way brains are meant to brain
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @Xee I really don't know - I'm basically screaming at them about how selfish they're being but they always talk about themselves and how it would ruin their holiday. I'm just gonna sit in my room all day until they understand that they are being real dickheads. I wish I had some way of harming myself enough to get away from them but there's nothing in or around this stupid wee house
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    yanayana Community Champion Posts: 1,277 Wise Owl
    edited July 2023
    IainJammyboy wrote: »
    this stupid wee house
    that made me laugh so much lol. but anyway, you don't need to harm yourself. I know you want to but if you do it's just gonna be worse. you'll make a habit out of it and won't be able to stop. can't you leave the house and go for a walk or go sit in a park or something and get some fresh air and space from them? that would be a lot better than sitting in your room all day
    my brain is not braining the way brains are meant to brain
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    Blc_2004Blc_2004 Deactivated Posts: 305 The Mix Regular
    IainJammyboy wrote: »
    @HarryT @JJLemon18 @Xee @Blc_2004 sorry for being a pain all the time, the reason I want to attempt suicide and go to hospital is because that's the only place where I feel listened to or even cared for. I know what I need and want, but my stupid parents don't listen - sorry for being a pain here

    Ur defiently not a pain. Ur suffering and tats ok. It’s understandable.
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @Xee I wish I could go outside but my parents decide when I am allowed to do that and when I'm not - I'm finally free for an hour right now though do I have the chance to get a drink
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    yanayana Community Champion Posts: 1,277 Wise Owl
    edited July 2023
    DON'T GET A DRINK, go for a walk instead. think of something else you can become dependent on, not alcohol. play the violin every time you want a drink, get some fresh air, do some art, maybe try journalling idk but before it becomes a full blown addiction please please try to find someone else healthier to become dependent on. you could even become dependent on the mix! make a rambley post every time you feel shitty or want to drink, post on the I need a hug thread as often as you need to, whatever you want/whatever helps!
    my brain is not braining the way brains are meant to brain
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @Xee I wish I had the option of doing all those things but my parents are so controlling they took the house key with them so I can't go outside, and don't really have anything with me to distract myself other than my phone
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    Blc_2004Blc_2004 Deactivated Posts: 305 The Mix Regular
    IainJammyboy wrote: »
    @Xee I wish I had the option of doing all those things but my parents are so controlling they took the house key with them so I can't go outside, and don't really have anything with me to distract myself other than my phone

    Ramble on the mix, like @Xee suggested.
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    yanayana Community Champion Posts: 1,277 Wise Owl
    that sucks that your parents are so controlling:( mine are too and it's awful but I'm hoping they'll give me a little more freedom when I turn 18. you don't have your violin or anything? when I literally don't have anything and all I have is my phone I try to write songs/poems on my notes app and sometimes they're really really awful and sometimes they're great but most of the time they help me express my emotions. to distract myself I often just blast my music on my headphones as loud as I can. my thoughts still wonder off but if I really focus on the music and all the different instruments it really helps sometimes. so maybe try that?
    my brain is not braining the way brains are meant to brain
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @Blc_2004 not a bad idea
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    Blc_2004Blc_2004 Deactivated Posts: 305 The Mix Regular
    IainJammyboy wrote: »
    @Blc_2004 not a bad idea

    You’re able to let out ur feelings!!
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 946 Part of The Mix Family
    @Xee yea I wish I knew your and my parents reasoning for it all. Have installed a game called dragon hills on my phone, been meaning to play that lol, and am always listening to music, don't worry about that
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    Blc_2004Blc_2004 Deactivated Posts: 305 The Mix Regular
    Always here for you, @IainJammyboy you’re worthy of support.
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