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I'm sorry for being a pain in the arse
spacedog
Posts: 1,192 Wise Owl
I'm sorry for the amount of time I've taken up in people's lives and the help I've taken away from other people - I'm a lost cause anyways, I hope everyone has a good life
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Comments
Sending hugs,
Amy22
Mental illness lies to you. You're a wonderful member of this community, Iain.
How are you feeling this morning?
She does sound like she was really really ignorant. I'm so sorry you aren't getting the support you deserve. Is there any way u could get a different psychiatrist? The first one I had was basically just the most disorganised idiot I've ever met, it took 6 months for me to even get an appointment with him bcs he kept losing the keys to his office and he said he can't 'gain enough insight' from a zoom call. Then my second one was the same as yours. He pissed me off so much, all he'd say was 'meditate and breathe and the bad thoughts will all go away. also sleep well and eat veggies' and I was like 'bestie oxygen and veggies isn't gonna stop me doing dangerous shit on a daily basis' and he was like 'fine let's wait two months before you get meds' and I ended up having to wait A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR!! My new psychiatrist provided me with loads of new support and suggested a much higher dose or new meds. I hope you can find someone like that who knows what they're doing and can help you.
How are you feeling now? I hope you're feeling a little more calm. I promise promise promise it won't be this hard forever
Oh my, that sounds horrible:/ I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. Don't worry about your language; it helps express your emotions and I can sense your devastation and anger, and acknowledging that this 'psychiatrist' (I say this with inverted commas cause I believe she shouldn't be one) is clearly downplaying your internal experiences/emotions, you've absolutely every right to feel and react this way. Since I'm still recovering from a cold, I was planning to go to sleep but I decided to come here and check out the community's recent posts for a few seconds - I wasn't planning to post anything or react to a post. When I saw yours, I immediately felt angry and upset about this recent situation so I immediately decided to scratch my plans to post and stay here. If anything, my actions just show that I care about you and that there are others out there who care about you too since humans, despite our differences, are not dissimilar and therefore I mustn't be the only one to feel this way. I believe that many people here, in this community, care about people including you. I see many and the same people communicating here despite our repetitive struggles and lowest states. Although our words may not solve or cure our difficulties, we still send them to each other. So, we care about you.
Again, we are here for you too. If you would like to chat to someone, you can chat to any of us including me. I don't mind and it is not a burden to me, at all. I have given you my permission and I promise you that I will fulfil it.
I hope you are feeling a bit better after talking about it online. You got this, lain! We're cheering for you!
P.S Is the letter at the beginning of your username an capital 'i' [so, 'I'] or is it a lowercase 'L' [like, 'l']? Yes. I know that is presented very confusingly. If it is an L, it got me thinking of the character Lain Iwakura from 'Serial Experiments Lain.' If not, it's cool lol.
I just looked at this website and it does look very useful and handy, maybe black dog could be helpful for you @IainJammyboy possibly?. I'm sorry to hear that your therapy session didn't go very well and to repeat what everyone else had said on here you don't have to apologise about expressing yourself. In fact I think it's good that you are able to express your thoughts and feelings on here. It's sounds like the therapy session was very stressful for you to go through especially when your therapist only wants to see it as a way of trying to 'treat' your condition rather than actually getting a 'diagonosis' for it properly. That does sound like a horrible experience to go through. Some therapists can be like that sometimes sadly eventhough a therapist really should be more caring and understanding. It sounds like you need someone who is more understanding of your emotions and feelings. I just wish you had a better therapist who understands you fully and not just does things by the *book*. Honestly I feel like most therapists only do the bare minimum and don't actually to try to help the person. I am so sorry that you had to go through that recently. I know I can't really speak on this as much but I remember my therapy sessions were only six sessions each and that was it. It was like after the six sessions they instantly thought that my mental health would 'be fixed' or 'cured' when in reality it won't be.
I'm always here if you need a lending ear anytime, you can even PM me as long as you feel comfortable to do so. Sending you an extra special hug,
Amy22
It does sound quite sad that your psychiatrist wasn't helpful enough. I personally find most consellours or psychiartrist's often don't understand certain things especially with how a person is feeling. Honestly, I personally feel that by talking to someone who have had actual experience of mental health struggle can be more helpful than actually seeing someone who claims they are an expert. Honestly, no worries you won't be a pain I'd rather help you than see you struggle in silence. I believe that no one should struggle in silence
sending hugs,
Amy22
Btw did you get my message? I sent it you a couple days back but you didn't respond, I assumed you just didn't want to talk about it.
You matter as much an anyone else! So please take care of yourself as that is something only you can do
It is true that I don't know you. However, as human beings, despite us experiencing inner struggles independently, our share similarity of being human allows us to have these similar experiences and even come to understand and empathise with each other. From having some mental illnesses, I'm aware of how stifling and painful it is and because of this, I wish for no one to experience this pain including you. I really do and I'm honestly shocked that I do since I'm always separate from the outside world as I rest in my mind. Because of this, you do mean a lot to me. You're a person who has feelings and thoughts and this is enough for me to hear you out and direct my focus towards.
Some psychiatrists aren't so helpful and sometimes I think that they cannot understand the seriousness of their patient's struggles. I do think that some psychiatrists may be quite emotionally overwhelmed by their job that they aren't willing to help their patients, and I hope they receive some counselling (which I think they are required to or at least advised but idk), yet it is still upsetting that this will drag the patient down alongside their declining mental state. I pretty much agree with @Amy22 . Whatever is going on in the mind of that psychiatrist, you did have a horrible experience with them and I hope you could find a different one. There is a better psychiatrist out there and, hopefully, this thought can raise your spirit even to the smallest degree. I do believe that it is up to us to manage our mental disorders but only partially. In reality, we can only somewhat influence our mental state but not control it. So, because of this, I'm convinced that we should seek out external support and I'm so so glad that you've posted.