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Idek anymore

Hi so I think I might have OCD and struggle greatly with the subject of being attracted to things I definitely shouldn't be. I worry about this literally every day. Anyway, the other night, I was talking to my mum and I went to lightly punch her in the arm in a joking sort of way as we were having a conversation, but I accidentay punched her in the side of the boob. Now, I was half aware this might happen due to how she was possitioned but I hadn't really processed the thought yet and still did it. She was falling asleep by this point so she didn't notice/care but I felt bad. Although I obviously didn't have any kind of sexual motives with this, the way it felt reminded me of when I was a young child with no boundaries and used to play with her boobs (omg I am so sorry that is so gross to say) and I enjoyed it (🤮) because of the 'fun jiggly texture' (😭🤮) and I kind of want to go back to that because it was a fun feeling but obviously I have a problem with them being attatched to my mum who I obviously don't want to make uncomfortable and I don't want to do anything sexual with, although I am a bit attracted to ber figure wich I am also ashamed of but I have confessed that part to her (not in the way of trying to make a move 🤢) because I felt guilty and needed to tell someone. She didn't care at all and said it's just that I'm learning about attraction as I'm a 15 yr old girl. Is all this this normal? I don't want to tell her the first bit because I definitely feel like it would make her uncomfortable so I'm turning to the mix. Is this normal?


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