When I’m bored I start feeling alone😩

_Tech_Addict_Girl

Hi guys can someone please tell me why I feel so alone when I start getting bored like it’s really upsetting me I’ve had enough of feeling alone at night as it is cuz I’m not with my ex anymore it makes things worse as it is 😭😞

marcellus_beauregard

May I ask, do you take part in-person social activities and what are your hobbies? This might be helpful to help me understand where this sense of feeling alone is coming from. (Please refrain from giving personal details, keep it simple and broad. If you do not want to answer, you can simply refrain from answering).

_Tech_Addict_Girl

@marcellus_beauregard I like listening to music watching tv going out but I don’t know where to go on my own and I’m a wheelchair user

Azziman

Hey @_Tech_Addict_Girl, I can understand how feeling lonely can be difficult, and that memories of your ex can hurt. For what it's worth, you're not alone - we're here to listen to you and support you, and you can share whatever is on your mind here! When do you find that you feel lonely? Do you find that it happens in particular places, or in the presence of certain situations?

_Tech_Addict_Girl

@Azziman its mostly when I’m in bed thinking of him and thinking about everything we did etc all of that I start thinking I haven’t got that anymore and feel like I never will feel that time of way again 😞

marcellus_beauregard

_Tech_Addict_Girl wrote: »

@marcellus_beauregard I like listening to music watching tv going out but I don’t know where to go on my own and I’m a wheelchair user

I see. Correct me if I am wrong but from your statement, I can imply that you are not used to doing things on your own? I am aware that part of your loneliness derived from not being with your ex anymore and that does perfectly explain why you are feeling alone as one of the causes of loneliness is life changes. That is completely normal as your mind is psychologically trying to process this missing aspect of your life since you are used to your ex being there. Do not worry. It is going to take time but eventually, your mind and self will adjust. Do you have any close friends? How much social interaction do you get in a week? Also, how are you coping with this feeling? Any strategies you have been using?

_Tech_Addict_Girl

@marcellus_beauregard No I just don’t have no proper strategies that works for a long time I guess I just need some advice for it

marcellus_beauregard

@_Tech_Addict_Girl

I have some strategies I can share with you and some of them I have researched. However, I would recommend you to do further research or talk to a professional like a counsellor. But here is my advice:

1. Join online communities/social medias: Well, you are here after all. So, you have taken the first step. There are plenty of other communities too and I would recommend finding a community that focus on an interest of yours to find people similar to you. I hope that you being in TheMix has been distracting you from this loneliness and you can always reach out to me and TheMix community if this feeling returns again. But I would also recommend using other methods too (mentioned below or from your own research) to prevent yourself becoming too reliant on this method. Also, founded in studies, social media and being always online appears to create the illusion of connectedness. This does not mean you have to avoid social media but you should also rely on activities that are part of the physical real world than the virtual realm too.

2. Volunteer: There are a lot of volunteering roles available around the world and locally. You can volunteer in charity shops or I would recommend volunteering for museums because there is constant changes to galleries and such that might pique your interests.

3. Meditation: If you have nothing to do and want to take a break from your hobbies, try meditating. Light up an incense candle, savour the scent, and breathe in and out, focus on your breathing/movement of your breathing. Relax all your muscles. You can follow a meditation on YouTube too. Doing this, you are in the present moment connecting with yourself.

4. Get a new hobby: Trying something new might be stressful and/or confusing as it usually is at the beginning, however because it is different your mind will stay focused on that. Want a mental challenge? Try playing strategy games like chess. Want to expand your creativity? Try drawing, creative writing or painting. Watch a video from Bob Ross and copy what he is painting.

5. Go to a pet cafe: If you like cats, there are some kitty cafes around. There are other cafes with different animals too. This might be limited to you depending on where you live. But connecting with an animal can be helpful too.

6. Turn your loneliness to 'me' time: Discover more about yourself. Figure out your MBTI type and enneagram (if you would like I can help you with that. I have done a lot of research about MBTI and enneagrams and have been in the community for a few years now. Just ask me, and I will help). Figure out what Harry Potter house you are in? Do some 365 Tests or Buzzfeed tests. You get to learn more about yourself and I do not know about you but I find that very interesting, enlightening, and useful for guiding my future self.

7. Start a YouTube channel or livestream: Creating videos on things you like that other people might enjoy can be very fun and rewarding in my personal experience (even if your videos get no views or a lot views. The algorithm is like that). You can livestream too on other platforms and connect with your audience.

8. Journaling/Do Counselling Worksheets: Journaling allows you to focus on your current thoughts or you could do some counselling worksheets like Three-Step Mindfulness worksheet, Self-Care check up (or you can use Self-Care apps), or the Emotional Wellness worksheet.

9. Counselling: You could do CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) or group therapy to help with improving your socialisation skills. I would highly recommend this.

I hope this could be of some help.

mod note: edited for readability