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I may never walk again

louisa982louisa982 Posts: 294 The Mix Regular
Hi hello

I haven’t posted on here in such a loooooonnnggg time, but I’m really struggling at the moment. 10 weeks ago I had an accident and smashed/broke my leg and knee. I had to have surgery - which wasn’t done very well and I have been in agony ever since. I have to move my leg by picking it up with my hands as I still can’t move it myself. I was told I should be able to start to walk at 6 weeks, but it’s now 10 and it’s numb and feels like jelly and like there is no bone there. To make matters worse I live on a second floor- so I cannot leave the flat and go out anywhere in my wheelchair.

There is a possibility I will not walk again and will have to use a wheelchair. I feel scared, lonely and incredibly upset. I just want my life back , going to theatre, choir and shopping ect 😢 I also don’t have a shower - only a bath. And I’m
Currently washing using a bucket and flannel. I hate it so much , especially in this heat- I just want a cold shower.
Past UserSalix_alba_2019JJLemon18Amy22CaniceQebyrne556JustVIainJammyboyyana


  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,792 Community Veteran
    @louisa982 That sounds so stressful to go through at the moment especially if your leg has been feeling that way for a while now. I can imagine how hard it must be to move about especially being on a second floor which must make it more of a challenge for you to get around. Your feelings of being scared and upset are understandable as having an injury for a long time can take it's toll on anyone. I want to give you a special hug, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to anytime,

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • CaniceQCaniceQ Posts: 122 The Mix Convert
    @louisa982 I can completely understand these feelings you're currently facing, as I am diagnosed with a condition that affects my quality of life and there is no cure for it in my case since doctors found no source for its cause. It was a difficult time and still is sometimes. It was hard (and sometimes still difficult) to come to terms with it and like what you've said, I really wanted my life back. Honestly, I wanted to cry when reading your post because these thoughts and feelings of yours really resonate with me. I guess you may be feeling quite helpless and perhaps frustrated with your current situation, and even hopeless since you were told that you may start walking in 6 weeks but it is past that amount of time. Though, I think it's important to keep in mind that one's expectation for an individual's health is based on what is generally found and not on the individual. Our bodies are quite a strange (and provoking) thing that can prove our assessments wrong. For one person, it may take 6 weeks but for others, it may be more than a year. For my condition, most people found that it gets quite better over a few months but for me, it got slightly better over a year but it sometimes gets worse for no apparent and consistent reason.

    I must admit that I feel quite lost right now. I really wish for such suffering to never exist and I would honestly sacrifice my own soul to end such things. If anything, you can always talk to us about it and if so, I'll try my best to lift your spirit.

    Sending infinite hugs to you <3
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,798 Extreme Poster
    Hey @louisa982, it's good to hear from you again! I'm sorry to hear about your accident - it sounds like the event and the experiences afterwards have forced a big change in your lifestyle and routine. I hear your frustration, and your feelings about this are completely valid.

    Sometimes, these recovery processes can take a bit longer due to a complication. Have you spoken to a doctor or the hospital department about your experiences? Following up is a useful thing to do, especially as it sounds like it might not have gone to plan.

    I fully hear that you feel upset, scared and lonely. Not being able to do the things you used to be able to do like this, it's completely understandable. And not knowing what the future holds based on these events, feeling scared makes sense. I want you to know that you're aren't alone in this - we hear you, and your feelings are valid. You're welcome to come here and sharing your feelings and experiences.

    On a practical level, is there someone you know - a family member or close friend perhaps - who might be able to help you out in the mean time? Or at least, be able to visit you and give some company?
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  • louisa982louisa982 Posts: 294 The Mix Regular
    Thank you everyone. I don’t really have any friends, just get carers twice a day so I’m quite lonely
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,212 Part of The Furniture
    That's a lot, Louisa. :( Reading this broke my heart a lil bit.

    I can't respond in full as I have to come offline for something but I wanted to acknowledge this post before I did. Not being able to do the things that make you happy and feeling so isolated must be a killer combination. I think I'd be feeling all those things too, in your position.

    Aside from us now, have you spoken to anyone else for emotional support? That's such a huge amount to be processing and carrying, especially by yourself.

    It's genuinely good to see you online, though - feel like it's been ages! In the absence of friends, I hope the community can be something, even if it doesn't totally fill the gap. 💚
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 813 Part of The Mix Family
    @louisa982 I am so so sorry to hear all that, sending you the biggest and best hugs in the entire universe 🫂 ❤️ just so you know as well, I don't know if this is helpful at all but there are various mental health charities including the mix that do offer short term counselling over the phone for free if that's of any use, but know we will always be here for you whenever you need support
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,212 Part of The Furniture
    louisa982 wrote: »
    Which brings me on to the update…
    Had a hospital appointment this week and the doctor has confirmed that I’ll probably be able to do a few steps/short distance but I will ultimately need a wheelchair :(
    Wowza, big news to process. :( Where has that left you @louisa982?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • louisa982louisa982 Posts: 294 The Mix Regular
    JustV wrote: »
    louisa982 wrote: »
    Which brings me on to the update…
    Had a hospital appointment this week and the doctor has confirmed that I’ll probably be able to do a few steps/short distance but I will ultimately need a wheelchair :(
    Wowza, big news to process. :( Where has that left you @louisa982?

    basically stuck in my flat alone until they can find me a suitable flat which will take months/years
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