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TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 1,812 Extreme Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
Im feeling like I have no purpose. I have been feeling like I'll be unemployed on benefits or in a job I don't like all my life and I have had a appointment at the job centre to get some type of benefits so I feel a bit like this is manifested like I'm going to be on them for the rest of my life. They can put me on jobs like unpaid work, I'll get paid my benefits but will have to do a week at like some retail job for example they could say work in McDonald’s but I won't get a wage I just will get my benefits. I just feel like its becoming more likely that, that's going to be my life, just on benefits or maybe a jobs they find me but stuck in them, I think I will end up getting normal wage if they decide to hire me but I feel like ill just be stuck in some low paid job I dont like or unemployed. Like I have kind of thought this for years but I feel like its getting more likely now. I've posted only a few days ago but I am just struggling now, I feel like I have no hope a bit. I think I'm never going to be happy in life. I think like what's the point if I am just going to be broke, in a job I hate or unemployed and broke.

Comments

  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,507 The Mix Elder
    @FordRanger how you are feeling is totally understandable as I think everyone wants to do a job that they like doing. I can think similar that sometimes eventhough sometimes it may be that for now we have to work in a job that we don't like. But eventually it may lead to the right path or the job that you want to do. I know if your on benefits I know that there is a thing called job seekers allowance which means that whilst you are looking for a job, you gey paid money. I know that sometimes it can be unpaid work they get you to do but it can actually count as experience that you put on your cv. I know how worrying this must be for you at this moment of time especially as you have been going through a lot too. Everyone has to start somewhere even if it is something they don't like doing. But then as you get more experience you may find something that you enjoy doing. I'd say keep looking and explore things and job opportunities. It may be good to find out what you love doing or your interests and then apply them to a job that you may like. I know I might not be very helpful but I'm always here if you need any help looking for jobs or need any support during this time. Hope you are feeling okay,

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 1,812 Extreme Poster
    Amy22 wrote: »
    @FordRanger how you are feeling is totally understandable as I think everyone wants to do a job that they like doing. I can think similar that sometimes eventhough sometimes it may be that for now we have to work in a job that we don't like. But eventually it may lead to the right path or the job that you want to do. I know if your on benefits I know that there is a thing called job seekers allowance which means that whilst you are looking for a job, you gey paid money. I know that sometimes it can be unpaid work they get you to do but it can actually count as experience that you put on your cv. I know how worrying this must be for you at this moment of time especially as you have been going through a lot too. Everyone has to start somewhere even if it is something they don't like doing. But then as you get more experience you may find something that you enjoy doing. I'd say keep looking and explore things and job opportunities. It may be good to find out what you love doing or your interests and then apply them to a job that you may like. I know I might not be very helpful but I'm always here if you need any help looking for jobs or need any support during this time. Hope you are feeling okay,

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3

    I appreciate it
  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 1,812 Extreme Poster
    Hi guys, I'm still struggling a lot
  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 1,812 Extreme Poster
    Amy22 wrote: »
    @FordRanger how you are feeling is totally understandable as I think everyone wants to do a job that they like doing. I can think similar that sometimes eventhough sometimes it may be that for now we have to work in a job that we don't like. But eventually it may lead to the right path or the job that you want to do. I know if your on benefits I know that there is a thing called job seekers allowance which means that whilst you are looking for a job, you gey paid money. I know that sometimes it can be unpaid work they get you to do but it can actually count as experience that you put on your cv. I know how worrying this must be for you at this moment of time especially as you have been going through a lot too. Everyone has to start somewhere even if it is something they don't like doing. But then as you get more experience you may find something that you enjoy doing. I'd say keep looking and explore things and job opportunities. It may be good to find out what you love doing or your interests and then apply them to a job that you may like. I know I might not be very helpful but I'm always here if you need any help looking for jobs or need any support during this time. Hope you are feeling okay,

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3

    I appreciate it
  • genderless_fungigenderless_fungi Moderator Posts: 197 Trailblazer
    Hey @FordRanger
    It's understandable to be scared about the future, especially when you've just started working. It can feel daunting to be on benefits but is there a reason why you believe that the situation is not gonna change for you? Why do you think this will be on benefits or stuck in a job you don't like for the rest of your life?
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  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 1,812 Extreme Poster
    genderless_fungi wrote: »
    Hey @FordRanger
    It's understandable to be scared about the future, especially when you've just started working. It can feel daunting to be on benefits but is there a reason why you believe that the situation is not gonna change for you? Why do you think this will be on benefits or stuck in a job you don't like for the rest of your life?

    @genderless_fungi I think its just because I'm worried I'll never find a career I like and I might end up too lazy to do anything
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,238 Part of The Furniture
    This sounds really difficult @FordRanger :/ Hopefully, by trying a range of different roles you will find a job you like, even if that is just temporary! Sounds like they will keep you busy so the latter is not possible :p
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  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 1,812 Extreme Poster
    Laura_tigger82 wrote: »
    This sounds really difficult @FordRanger :/ Hopefully, by trying a range of different roles you will find a job you like, even if that is just temporary! Sounds like they will keep you busy so the latter is not possible :p

    @Laura_tigger82 yh I'm just worried each time I try jobs etc. If I did keep trying it will reduce my hopes that I'll ever be happy
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,238 Part of The Furniture
    Is that because you are worried the more chances you take that you dislike, the more you feel it will confirm your thoughts of not finding something you are happy with @FordRanger? :/
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  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 1,812 Extreme Poster
    Laura_tigger82 wrote: »
    Is that because you are worried the more chances you take that you dislike, the more you feel it will confirm your thoughts of not finding something you are happy with @FordRanger? :/

    @Laura_tigger82 That was a quick reply lol but yh it is.
  • ebyrne556ebyrne556 Moderator Posts: 1,042 Wise Owl
    Heya @FordRanger just answering for Laura rn haha I can understand how it might make u feel unhappy if u try more than 1. It can be scary taking that chance but i suppose until you take the risk u never know <3 Im really hopeful that you will find something u enjoy soon.It might take a little time but ur doing great and i know its hard to keep trying but we all r here for u and have ur back. Mabye even if u hv tried the range of jobs and still arent convinced u could try do negatives/positives list of each or c if theirs any fields that u might b interested in trying that mabye u didnt think of before. Hope this makes sense ok
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  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,998 Extreme Poster
    edited June 2023
    Hey @FordRanger, just wanted to add something to this. The others have discussed the work element, so I won't go into that too much.

    I can understand how you feel on purpose. Finding your purpose feels like a big deal, and it can feel like life is a little aimless without a direction or a guide. I wanted to say that your purpose here isn't just to work. You have value, use and purpose as a human being, even if you aren't in a job. It sounds like having a job is a way you derive value, and that's fine - plenty of others do as well. But you still have value without a job - for example, helping people and caring for others is great for anyone to do!

    I think there is a lot more focus on "finding your purpose" these days, and it can make it feel like one huge decision that decides your life. But the reality is, "purpose" isn't just one idea, and not everyone always has one. It's simply your reason for doing something. Some people might have one overall purpose, others may have multiple, others yet may have none. And most people will change between these throughout life too. The point being, don't worry if you don't know what your purpose is right now. Most people your age won't have any idea either, and that's totally fine. You'll work it out, piece by piece, as you go through experiences in life. It's something we all work to figure out, and it's not a neat answer - it'll be a work in progress.

    That being said, I think the way you develop your sense of purpose is through experience. The more things that you try out, the more people you meet, the more you learn about the world - the more you begin to figure out what you really care about, deep down. What things really drive you, what things really call to you. And you'll make a decision to use your time, money, attention, towards some of these, and they'll help to form that picture. For you, you've placed importance on working, and that can be a part of it. After all, you'll be spending a quarter of your week in a full-time job, so it's a great place to explore what you want to work on!

    As @Laura_tigger82 says above, trying out a range of roles can help you to find what you want to do. What kind of work you like, what kind of skills, who you want to work with. And, perhaps overarching all this, you'll find something that you feel purposeful. The dream role that we all aim for is something that does all of this, and it's really difficult to find! But, keep gaining those experiences, and in time, you'll be far more informed about what purposeful means to you.

    Sorry that this went on - it's hard to talk about purpose concisely! But I hope this helps you on your concerns about the idea of purpose. There's lots of really interesting reading material and articles out there if you want to learn more. But if I were to summarise, it would be this - the more you try things out, the more information you'll have to use to working out what your reason for living is, and the more likely you'll make choices that help you to live a life where you feel like you're moving in a direction that makes you feel fulfilled :)
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 1,812 Extreme Poster
    Azziman wrote: »
    Hey @FordRanger, just wanted to add something to this. The others have discussed the work element, so I won't go into that too much.

    I can understand how you feel on purpose. Finding your purpose feels like a big deal, and it can feel like life is a little aimless without a direction or a guide. I wanted to say that your purpose here isn't just to work. You have value, use and purpose as a human being, even if you aren't in a job. It sounds like having a job is a way you derive value, and that's fine - plenty of others do as well. But you still have value without a job - for example, helping people and caring for others is great for anyone to do!

    I think there is a lot more focus on "finding your purpose" these days, and it can make it feel like one huge decision that decides your life. But the reality is, "purpose" isn't just one idea, and not everyone always has one. It's simply your reason for doing something. Some people might have one overall purpose, others may have multiple, others yet may have none. And most people will change between these throughout life too. The point being, don't worry if you don't know what your purpose is right now. Most people your age won't have any idea either, and that's totally fine. You'll work it out, piece by piece, as you go through experiences in life. It's something we all work to figure out, and it's not a neat answer - it'll be a work in progress.

    That being said, I think the way you develop your sense of purpose is through experience. The more things that you try out, the more people you meet, the more you learn about the world - the more you begin to figure out what you really care about, deep down. What things really drive you, what things really call to you. And you'll make a decision to use your time, money, attention, towards some of these, and they'll help to form that picture. For you, you've placed importance on working, and that can be a part of it. After all, you'll be spending a quarter of your week in a full-time job, so it's a great place to explore what you want to work on!

    As @Laura_tigger82 says above, trying out a range of roles can help you to find what you want to do. What kind of work you like, what kind of skills, who you want to work with. And, perhaps overarching all this, you'll find something that you feel purposeful. The dream role that we all aim for is something that does all of this, and it's really difficult to find! But, keep gaining those experiences, and in time, you'll be far more informed about what purposeful means to you.

    Sorry that this went on - it's hard to talk about purpose concisely! But I hope this helps you on your concerns about the idea of purpose. There's lots of really interesting reading material and articles out there if you want to learn more. But if I were to summarise, it would be this - the more you try things out, the more information you'll have to use to working out what your reason for living is, and the more likely you'll make choices that help you to live a life where you feel like you're moving in a direction that makes you feel fulfilled :)

    Thanks dude
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